A good place to pick back up
So I know I haven't posted here in a long time. But with many tear-filled, and tear-bringing things said regarding obviously the end of faire, and leaving in general. I feel like there are some things that I need to say.
I haven't been at faire very long at all. This was my second year. And while, when I came in, I felt sort of like the new sister who just shows up in the already tightly knit family. Those feelings passed. I found that everyone is welcomed in, in their own way. And every time I have gone to faire, I am still brought back to the first time I ever went. I have only ever visited one faire for one day as a patron in all my life. That was Connecticut Renaissance Faire, about four years ago. It was the second to the last day, and I cam home and begged my Dad to bring me back the next day. He couldn't, and I think I almost cried. I had gone on a school feild trip, and had found something so utterly amazing. I didn't even follow the storyline, I had no idea what was going on, all I knew was that I loved it. Over that summer I spent time being disappointed that I was only fifteen, and sixteen was the age limit on cast members. I made great efforts to become part of a youth program that would still allow me to be part of it that happened that year. Because of other things going on in my life, I wasn't able to. And over the last bits of that year, I sadly began to put it out of my mind. Until one day, I got an e-mail regarding auditions. My e-mail no doubt left over from my seeking information about the youth program, and my then being sixteen. Suddenly everything I remembered loving came back to me. I went and auditioned. And let the record show, that while I get nervous about almost nothing, auditions are my kryptonite, as it were. I put on an awful show, that even as it was happening, I was blocking out of my memory. I completely choked up. That was even apparently the first time I met the man of my dreams, and didn't even realize it, until this past summer. That's how bad it was. But somehow, they still let me in. And for those of you who don't remember, I was not cast as Winnifred, evil lady in waiting originally. I was cast as a scullery maid, a peasant, that most people later said they couldn't even picture me as. But a weekend into rehearsals, I was offered the part of someone who dropped out, yet had a few lines, that they wished not to cut. And the rest I suppose is history. I grew stronger, and wiser, from my time at faire. I met and was infinitely inspired by so many people. I was welcomed into Michelles family, maybe in an inappropriate way, but welcomed all the same. I remember car pooling with her and Jen and whoever else was there and getting in on all kinds of crazy conversation. I remember subconsciously thinking how handsome a certain fight lieutenant was, but having everyone else realize it first. In fact here is what I remember about one car ride with Jen and Michelle and Grundy in particular:
Michelle:So I think I know of some crushes forming around faire.
Jen: Oh yeah?
Michelle: Even on some people in this car
Me: Well now you have to tell us!
Grundy: well I know no one there has a crush on me
Michelle:It's not me
Jen: well it's not me
Me: Well now I just feel awkward
In short, everyone knew something was going to happen. But for the record, John and I did not start to feel anything but really good friendship towards eachother until about a week or two before we actually started going out, which was the day when we showed up to faire actually holding hands all the time and stuff.
That is obviously a very big part of my life that I got from faire. And sometimes I still feel as though John would not be leaving if it weren't for me wanting him to come with me, and I feel as though I'm tearing someone away from something so important. But I know this isn't true, but I still do feel very sad about it.
And still this is not all I've gotten from faire. Don't think that I just came found a good prey, took him and left. Because well he is so important to me, I've grown so fond of many other things. I do remember carpooling with Roger. We would talk about acting and various other things, and he would make me feel even more like the rather inexperienced sixteen year old that I was. But I still grew very fond of him, and I met his kids, and loved them too. He, like so many of you, is an amazing person.
I remember weaseling my way in to having a fight. And loving it. Even having people spite me by saying, "fall" one too many times. I know a year from now, I'll still wish someone was there to say it.
This is the end of something big to me. Something important. And I want all of you to make sure that it remains the amazing and inspirational place that it is. That is all that I'll ever ask, that for those of us leaving, you never let it lose that sparkle. And I know that off in California we'll probably find a Faire eventually, to join, anything that we find there will still seem distant to me. As if it's not a REAL faire, just because it wasn't this first one, where I found so many amazing things.
There are so many things I'm going to miss, I know I can never say all of them.
And while this post is primarily about faire, I will mention a few things that I've grown close enough to to miss very much when I'm gone. I know that I have grown to feel like part of John's family. They welcomed me into everything so much. I enjoy spending time with all of them. I love all of the little kids, even if I'll never get all of their names straight. I love going to spending time with everyone, be it christmas, thanksgiving, or even just going over to Dan's house to play some Risk. I'm going to miss all of it.
And even friends I've met through John. I'm going to miss going camping with everyone, and singing songs around a fire. Even there, I could see all the history that they have, and still just felt blessed to be able to be any small part of it.
I really don't know what else to say. I'm not gone yet, and well I am so excited to be starting this new part of my life, I never imagined it being this sad. Honestly, before I came to faire, I never had that many friends. A few people I thought I might miss, but most of them have already grown away from me. I planned on leaving a long time ago. As much as four years ago. And I always saw it being easier. I never had so much to leave until I came to Faire, and through it, met the most amazingly wonderful people. So I hope you all remember that. Next to leaving my Dad, my pets, even my brother, you guys are what's really hitting me.
I plan on having one huge, and I mean huge party about a week before we leave, I'm even going to pick a date way way ahead of time, so that you, all of you will be able to plan for it. And I will have everyone that John and I want to see before we leave come to one place, and party well into the night, then have you all camp over.
I love you all. Never ever forget that.
~Sarah Zane
I haven't been at faire very long at all. This was my second year. And while, when I came in, I felt sort of like the new sister who just shows up in the already tightly knit family. Those feelings passed. I found that everyone is welcomed in, in their own way. And every time I have gone to faire, I am still brought back to the first time I ever went. I have only ever visited one faire for one day as a patron in all my life. That was Connecticut Renaissance Faire, about four years ago. It was the second to the last day, and I cam home and begged my Dad to bring me back the next day. He couldn't, and I think I almost cried. I had gone on a school feild trip, and had found something so utterly amazing. I didn't even follow the storyline, I had no idea what was going on, all I knew was that I loved it. Over that summer I spent time being disappointed that I was only fifteen, and sixteen was the age limit on cast members. I made great efforts to become part of a youth program that would still allow me to be part of it that happened that year. Because of other things going on in my life, I wasn't able to. And over the last bits of that year, I sadly began to put it out of my mind. Until one day, I got an e-mail regarding auditions. My e-mail no doubt left over from my seeking information about the youth program, and my then being sixteen. Suddenly everything I remembered loving came back to me. I went and auditioned. And let the record show, that while I get nervous about almost nothing, auditions are my kryptonite, as it were. I put on an awful show, that even as it was happening, I was blocking out of my memory. I completely choked up. That was even apparently the first time I met the man of my dreams, and didn't even realize it, until this past summer. That's how bad it was. But somehow, they still let me in. And for those of you who don't remember, I was not cast as Winnifred, evil lady in waiting originally. I was cast as a scullery maid, a peasant, that most people later said they couldn't even picture me as. But a weekend into rehearsals, I was offered the part of someone who dropped out, yet had a few lines, that they wished not to cut. And the rest I suppose is history. I grew stronger, and wiser, from my time at faire. I met and was infinitely inspired by so many people. I was welcomed into Michelles family, maybe in an inappropriate way, but welcomed all the same. I remember car pooling with her and Jen and whoever else was there and getting in on all kinds of crazy conversation. I remember subconsciously thinking how handsome a certain fight lieutenant was, but having everyone else realize it first. In fact here is what I remember about one car ride with Jen and Michelle and Grundy in particular:
Michelle:So I think I know of some crushes forming around faire.
Jen: Oh yeah?
Michelle: Even on some people in this car
Me: Well now you have to tell us!
Grundy: well I know no one there has a crush on me
Michelle:It's not me
Jen: well it's not me
Me: Well now I just feel awkward
In short, everyone knew something was going to happen. But for the record, John and I did not start to feel anything but really good friendship towards eachother until about a week or two before we actually started going out, which was the day when we showed up to faire actually holding hands all the time and stuff.
That is obviously a very big part of my life that I got from faire. And sometimes I still feel as though John would not be leaving if it weren't for me wanting him to come with me, and I feel as though I'm tearing someone away from something so important. But I know this isn't true, but I still do feel very sad about it.
And still this is not all I've gotten from faire. Don't think that I just came found a good prey, took him and left. Because well he is so important to me, I've grown so fond of many other things. I do remember carpooling with Roger. We would talk about acting and various other things, and he would make me feel even more like the rather inexperienced sixteen year old that I was. But I still grew very fond of him, and I met his kids, and loved them too. He, like so many of you, is an amazing person.
I remember weaseling my way in to having a fight. And loving it. Even having people spite me by saying, "fall" one too many times. I know a year from now, I'll still wish someone was there to say it.
This is the end of something big to me. Something important. And I want all of you to make sure that it remains the amazing and inspirational place that it is. That is all that I'll ever ask, that for those of us leaving, you never let it lose that sparkle. And I know that off in California we'll probably find a Faire eventually, to join, anything that we find there will still seem distant to me. As if it's not a REAL faire, just because it wasn't this first one, where I found so many amazing things.
There are so many things I'm going to miss, I know I can never say all of them.
And while this post is primarily about faire, I will mention a few things that I've grown close enough to to miss very much when I'm gone. I know that I have grown to feel like part of John's family. They welcomed me into everything so much. I enjoy spending time with all of them. I love all of the little kids, even if I'll never get all of their names straight. I love going to spending time with everyone, be it christmas, thanksgiving, or even just going over to Dan's house to play some Risk. I'm going to miss all of it.
And even friends I've met through John. I'm going to miss going camping with everyone, and singing songs around a fire. Even there, I could see all the history that they have, and still just felt blessed to be able to be any small part of it.
I really don't know what else to say. I'm not gone yet, and well I am so excited to be starting this new part of my life, I never imagined it being this sad. Honestly, before I came to faire, I never had that many friends. A few people I thought I might miss, but most of them have already grown away from me. I planned on leaving a long time ago. As much as four years ago. And I always saw it being easier. I never had so much to leave until I came to Faire, and through it, met the most amazingly wonderful people. So I hope you all remember that. Next to leaving my Dad, my pets, even my brother, you guys are what's really hitting me.
I plan on having one huge, and I mean huge party about a week before we leave, I'm even going to pick a date way way ahead of time, so that you, all of you will be able to plan for it. And I will have everyone that John and I want to see before we leave come to one place, and party well into the night, then have you all camp over.
I love you all. Never ever forget that.
~Sarah Zane