(no subject)

[thegrudgepoet]

I guess you were right.
When you said I've changed.
I see you in the corner of my eye
but I keep playing, keep singing.
I do this to myself
I put everything in things that are barely defined.
Why do I feel so much.
Why do I care so much. You care
but
you don't care at all.
Maybe you were right
maybe I was dumb for thinking
I was strong.
But I could be strong.
My skin tears, but not so easily.
Maybe she was right
maybe I have no feeling left,
maybe my eyes are glassed over
searching for the right emotion
searching for lives
that are already trying to be rebuild themselves.
I don't want to be your little girl anymore
I don't want to go back to when I saw you always
but I suppose I miss
the things I should miss. I am
human in that way still. And if
that makes me wrong,
if that means I'm weak for wanting and wanting and wanting,
ugly for never seeing beauty,
pathetic for missing you after all this time,
after no time,
if that means
you don't know what to do with my eyes
when they see yours,
and mine, in their own loneliness, are still passing,
if that means I'm a troubled soul,
lying here
under sheets contemplating dying,
then fine
so be it...
let me fall.