(no subject)

[thegrudgepoet]

Don't get
the wrong idea.
I can only see
bright colors.
They are green,
they are bright blue
they look so funny now.
I use to
run knives
along my sides
just to feel
so much
better.
you think
everything
is about you.
i do not care,
can you imagine
how many other
people are hurting.
I cannot help but
love you.
this is my mistake.
i cannot help but love.
You keep
taking what you can get.
the blood
how bright and full it moves.
How can I
forgive myself for
hearing myself for
liking myself for
when will this end.
i must see him
i must touch my mother's face
and kiss it
like it was my own.
this ugly brown skin
this ugly brown skin of mine
it stands for so much
it must peel
i hope it dries,
it is so pink and foolish underneath.
how come they cannot see what I look like.
She said, "You are so wonderful."
She said, "He said he wants you."
She said, "I think of you when I do this." She said that one
in her head. Alone.
She said, "Come on, move."
She said, "I cannot wait."
She said, " I have hurt you."
Did you hear.
She said, "where are you grandmother?"