Thegrouch314 - ican'tthinkofatitlelol
Title - ican'tthinkofatitlelol
Raiting - PG-13. I'm going with that. I don't know how American ratings work but it sounds sort of right so i'm sticking with it.
Pairing - #Boyfriends, ~never, past hexaforever
Warnings - Swearing. Mentions of bulges.
A/N - The title is a reference to my friend Jaynie who kindly beta'd it and left me some very annoyed and frankly offensive notes. Yet she's still one of my best friends. Go figure
A/N 2 - I nearly commited a felony over this fic.. I left my laptop with a friend ething on it ile I maths class. When I came back they'd changed a whole bunch of words. Let me give you some examples. Walking was then wanking. Playing was fucking and sex was algebra. And they'd changed a lot of names. I'll probably upload that in the next couple oy days because, well, it's bloody brilliant.
I walked into the classroom after double checking the number on the door: A66. This was my form room. I tentatively pushed it open and walked in.
“Hello, what’s your name?” asked the teacher at the desk, my new form tutor I presumed.
“McDonnell, sir. Charlie McDonnell.” I stammered out, nervously.
“Well then, Charlie. Grab a seat. You’re one of the first here so just sit anywhere.” Mr Andrews said.
I remembered his name from the piece of paper I’d been given telling me my form room.
I glanced around the room. He was right; I was one of the first there. I decided to sit alone in the second row seeing as everyone else who was there looked disinterested in talking and I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to meeting people and initiating conversation.
I should probably explain. It’s September 4th, the first day of term at my college and I don’t know anyone here. It’s kind of intimidating. I’m not good at making friends, unless there is a laptop screen between us. This place is big, too. About 1500 kids altogether but even with that many I doubt anyone will want to talk to me. Why would anyone want to talk to the gangly dork in the corner who only feels comfortable with a computer in front of him?
Oh, pull yourself together, Charlie. Stop moping, it’s unattractive. Maybe this is why you don’t have any friends; you talk to and argue with yourself.
At least I only do it in my head and not out loud.
Still. It’s weird.
Is not. It’s perfectly normal.
And what would you know about normal?
“Hi. I’m Alex. Alex Day. I’m new here too. Mind if I sit here?” A voice snapped me out of my inner argument. I glanced up to see a puffy haired boy wearing a baggy Green Day hoody over a pair of almost obscenely tight orange jeans. It was the sort of ensemble that could give you a headache after a while.
“Erm, sure. I’m Charlie McDonnell. Nice to meet you.” I offered my hand awkwardly.
“Nice to meet you too. Hey, is that a Doctor Who shirt? I love Doctor Who. Who’s your favourite Doctor? I really like Ten. Christopher Eccleston was alright, he did the dark side of the Doctor very well, but he just couldn’t pull off the whole damaged genius thing. Tennant did that much better. He could really do the hiding the pain of being the only one left through humour but still having it evident to the viewer. Know what I mean?” he rushed at 1000 miles per hour, not pausing for breath.
“Yeah, I like Tennant too.” I responded, a little unsure of what to say to this stranger who suddenly appeared and started talking entirely too fast. I liked him though. He seemed nice. Even if he was dressed very bizarrely.
We continued talking about Doctor Who as more and more people trickled in. I watched them out of the corner of my eye as they did so, looking for people I might possibly want to talk to. They all seemed decent enough. I guess a college with high entry requirements does have its advantages.
I was talking to Alex contentedly, if a little awkwardly, when a flash of colour caught my eye. A boy had just walked in with blue hair. Blue. And he was holding hands with a red headed lad. And I don’t mean ginger, I mean full on pillar-box red. I think Alex had noticed me staring at them because he turned to look as well, before waving them over.
Wait, waving them over? No, don’t do that! I can only just manage talking to one new person on my first day. I think three in 10 minutes might make me, I don’t know, implode from awkwardness.
He turned to them.
“Hi, I’m Alex Day. This is my new friend, Charlie. He doesn’t talk much, I’ve pretty much had to lead the conversation. Which I don’t mind; I like talking, but still... I think he’s scared or something. I don’t know, I don’t really understand introverts but he’s nice enough.” Alex rushed. He always talks like it’s a race or something. I wasn’t quite sure whether or not to be offended by that. Alex seemed nice and maybe he was just being blunt but it sort of stung a little. Perhaps that’s more to do with my pride though; I don’t like thinking I’m easy to read but he’d cracked me in about 5 minutes.
“Hi. I’m Tom, Tom Milsom. This is my boyfriend, Ben Cook.” The blue-haired one announced. His voice didn’t fit his appearance, I thought. He was wearing black Goth trousers with chains and dangly bits on them, a leather jacket and a studded choker around his neck, but his voice was soft, measured. He had the sort of voice you’d want to hear doing late night radio, soothing you to sleep.
“Nice to meet you.” Alex said, gesturing to the seat beside him. “Come sit with us. We’re talking about Doctor Who. You guys watch it?”
Tom laughed.
“Ben watches nothing else. Every time I go over he’s either sitting watching Doctor Who or he’s on the phone to someone talking about it or writing fan fiction about it.”
“Stop it; you’re making me sound like such a fan boy.” Ben protested playfully. “You’re the one that wrote an album about it.”
“An album I wrote for you.” Tom threw back, smiling.
“Wait, you write music about Doctor Who too? That’s awesome. We should get together some time, I want to hear yours.” Alex enthused. I didn’t get how he could talk to these guys so easily. It was like he’d known them for years instead of just a few minutes.
Tom and Alex easily descended into a deep discussion about songs about Doctor Who, or Trock as Alex liked to call it.
“You a fan of the show, Charlie?” Ben asked, shifting his chair so he could talk to me better.
“Yeah, I really like it.” I told him.
“That’s cool. It’s a good show.” He said before we collapsed into an awkward silence.
“We sat there for a minute or two before Ben spoke again.
“So, not much of a talker, eh?” Ben chuckled. His laugh was glorious, like honey or something else smooth and silky and luxurious.
“Not really. Small talk is not my strong point. I just don’t like to waste words.” I told him.
“Very wise. I’ve always said that the world would be a much better place if everyone just used their mouths for oral sex. Words do far too much damage, and blow jobs are great fun.”
I blushed and Ben laughed again.
“Erm, yeah. It, er, probably would.” I stammered out. I really didn’t know what to say to that. It’s not very often that a guy you’ve only just met starts talking about sex so openly.
“As wonderful as it is to hear your suggestions for improving society, Mr Cook, I suggest you keep it to outside of my classroom.” Came Mr Andrew’s stern voice from behind us.
Ben evidently hadn’t realised that the class had been called to attention and they were all now staring at him, not that he cared. He just grinned at them. “Now here are your timetables. Check them over carefully. Lessons start period 2 today so you all have time to get acquainted. And that does not mean canoodling, Lester and Howell.”
I turned to see what he meant and was met by the sight of the boys with matching haircuts and embarrassed grins.
“We weren’t, we were just, erm…” Began the taller of the two, the one with brown hair and a slightly less sheepish expression.
“I don’t want to hear it, Howell. Just keep it outside of my classroom.” Despite his stern words, there was a distinct smile in Mr Andrews’s voice.
The flustered pair separated themselves and started muttering furiously to one another, their voices carrying across the still quiet class.
“See, Dan.” Began the black haired one. “I told you to go and look in a mirror.”
“Well I’m sorry Phil, but I had an eyelash in my eye. I couldn’t see to find a mirror.” The brown haired one, Dan I presumed, retorted.
“Eye, or pupillary sphincter?” Alex muttered to me, making me laugh. He’d obviously been listening in too.
“What?” Dan asked, perplexed. Alex had been louder than he thought.
“Have you ever read An Abundance of Katherines?”
“No?” Dan replied, eyeing him strangely.
“You should, it’s good.” Alex informed him, nodding his head knowledgeably. I made a general noise of agreement. I personally prefer Looking for Alaska but Katherines is good. I like the whole footnotes thing. It kind of feels like you’re inside John Green’s mind, or like he’s reading it over your shoulder and making comments.
I glanced down at my timetable, forgotten on the desk after listening in on Dan and Phil’s conversation. Double chemistry first thing on a Monday. There are worse ways to start the week.
Alex spotted me examining my timetable and promptly snatched it off me, scanning it quickly and comparing it with his own
“We have all the same lessons. I think you should be my best friend. I don’t have one at the moment; the only people I know here are you three. I want to become friends with those two as well, they seem nice.” He announced, gesturing to Dan and Phil.
“They do. Maybe you should go and say hi.” I suggested.
“I will do. So what do you say? Be my best friend?” Alex pushed, grinning cheekily.
I froze for a moment, having never been put on the spot like that. Then again, I’ve never really had a best friend before. Maybe this is how you acquire one. Maybe this entire encounter is just a drug fuelled hallucination. But then again, I don’t remember taking any mind-altering substances lately, so I wasn’t really sure.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll be your best friend.” I agreed uncertainly, not being quite sure what that entailed.
“Yay.” Alex squealed, jumping out of his seat and hugging me suddenly. He was a good hugger, I noted. Very good. I awkwardly patted at his back and he let go, beaming at me. “You’re the best, best friend ever.” He declared.
“Erm, Alex, we’ve known each other for 15 minutes.” I pointed out.
“So? Come over to mine tonight. My mum’s making pasta and it is brilliant. We can get to know each other more then.”
I was a little unsure but at first. I barely knew the guy but he was incredibly likeable and I wanted to get to know him a bit better.
“Okay.”
“Great. We’re together all day so we can just walk home together after last lesson. It’s not far. Pass me your phone, though, and I’ll put my number in it just in case.” I delved into my pocket, pulling out my iPhone and unlocking it before handing it to Alex.
“TARDIS case. Nice.”
Alex put his number in my phone and turned back to Tom, engaging him in a fierce discussion about something music related or other. I felt kind of obliged to talk to Ben, not that I minded. He was a nice guy, if a little tricky to figure out. Sometimes he seemed quiet, a little introverted yet at others he seemed completely at ease controlling a conversation. He intrigued me.
“So, erm. How did you and Tom meet?” I asked tentatively. I wasn’t sure if he’d mind me asking such a personal question but he seemed okay with it.
“Actually, he screwed one of my best friends.” He told me matter-of-factly.
“Really?” I asked, taken aback.
“Yeah. They got drunk and slept together. Tom had such a crush on him and desperately wanted more but Teoh didn’t so Tom hooked up with me to try and make him jealous. It didn’t work but we realised that we might. 6 months later Tom’s pretty much over Teoh and we’re happy together so everything worked out for the best.”
I was pretty surprised that Ben was being so open about this to a guy he’d barely met.
“Pretty much?” I was partially trying to keep Ben in control of the conversation and partially just curious.
“Yeah, he still has a bit of a soft spot for him. In that if Teoh offered, Tom would be in his bed in 10 seconds flat. There is still a huge amount of unrequited sexual attraction there that isn’t really unrequited but Teoh has more self control. Does that make sense?”
His voice was level still, calm, but his eyes betrayed that he wasn’t entirely comfortable about it, despite his protestations.
“Not really.”
“Basically, Tom is madly in love with Teoh to the point of obsession. I think besotted is a good word. But Teoh will never date him. I think they both know that if they ever did get together they would tear one another apart. Tom is in love with me too, but in a different way. Our love is a lot healthier; we’re good for each other in every way Tom and Teoh are bad. But Tom would still jump Teoh if he so much as raised a suggestive eyebrow. Teoh knows this as is always very careful around Tom, which I’m grateful for. I do know it will happen someday, though, and I’m okay with that as long as they tell me.”
“You’re okay with your boyfriend sleeping with someone else?”
“No, just Teoh. When you see the way Tom looks at him you’ll understand. And it’s not like I’ve never slept with him. He’s not that great.” He laughed.
I really didn’t understand how a bunch of 16 year olds could have such complicated relationships. I’d not even kissed a girl, let alone slept with one and caused so much drama. I guess people just mature at different rates.
“So what about you? Are you seeing anyone?” Ben asked, seeming genuinely interested as opposed to just asking out of politeness.
“No, not at the moment.”
His expression lit up. “Ooh, maybe we could set you up. I know this great guy, Ed. Really sweet, quite soft-spoken, you seem to like the quiet type. He’s pretty tall and strong but really gentle; he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Total pacifist. Musical too, I’ve never heard anyone who can play like him, aside from Tom but I’m sort of obligated to say that. Seriously amazing voice. Nerdy, smart, likes Doctor Who. Seems like just your type. Want me to introduce you?” he finished, excitedly.
I smiled at his enthusiasm. “Thanks for the offer, Ben, but I’m not really into guys. He sounds nice though. I’d like to meet him.”
“Okay, never mind then. We’re having a party tonight though. Sort of a ‘urgh, school’s starting but we’d better make the most of it’ party. You and Alex should come. You can meet Ed and we’ll see if we can get some girls to come along too. Teoh’ll be there though, so watch out. I think he’d terrify you. He’s, erm, rambunctious, to say the least.”
“Damn sexy though.” Tom interjected with a smile.
“Oi, don’t forget who you’re dating, Milsom.” Ben retorted, grinning back.
“As if I could.” Tom leaned over and kissed Ben gently on the cheek. The gesture was short and chaste, but somehow incredibly romantic. It was the sort of intimacy you expect from a couple who have been married 30 odd years, not two teenagers. I was having a lot of difficulty understanding the dynamic between these two but it seemed to work.
“Right then class, that’s the bell for second lesson. You have 5 minutes to get up to your next class. Take care and if you have and problems, this is my room and I’ll be here all day.” Mr Andrews called over the din of the classroom; the scraping of chair legs and grumblings of teenagers on their way to class.. I hadn’t even heard the bell go.
I stood and grabbed my bag before turning to Alex.
“Music, right?” I asked, although I knew. I was really asking if he would walk with me.
“Music. Come on.” He beckoned me with his head. “What are you two in?” he asked of the other pair.
“Music too. With Mr Armstrong.”
“Same!” Alex enthused, clearly delighted to be in the same class as all of his new-found friends. “Come on, I don’t want to be late.”
Tom and Alex bounded off ahead of us, like over-excited puppies.
“Is he always like this?” I asked Ben, chuckling
“Yep. You get used to it after a while. And fit, trying to keep up with him.”
“I’m not surprised. He acts like he’s on drugs.”
“Oh no, trust me, he’s ten times worse on drugs. It’s not a pretty sight. Especially not with whipped cream around. It’s a shame really, I liked those sheets.”
“Why did you have whipped cream in your be- oh.” I’m pretty sure I turned the colour of his hair when I figured out what he meant.
“Wow, Charlie, you really are quite naïve, aren’t you?” Ben laughed and ruffled up my hair before I swatted his arm away
“Oi! Stop that!” I protested playfully
“Ooh, what you gonna do?” Ben teased
I tickled him lightly, not quite expecting the severity of the reaction. He really was quite ticklish.
“No, Charlie…” He panted out. “Stop that, you bastard.”
I was forced to stop by the fact that we’d arrived at our classroom.
“Come on in and grab a seat, you guys.” Mr Armstrong said as we walked in. I spotted Alex and Tom at one of the tables in the middle and sat next to Alex, much as we had done in form. Tom was seated on my other side and immediately struck up conversation.
“So, Charlie. I don’t think we’ve really spoken yet. How’re you doing?” he asked, marginally slower that Alex had, but not much.
“Good, thanks. And you?”
“Great. So you took music? Do you play an instrument?”
“Erm, yeah. Guitar, ukulele, melodica, a little drums. What about you? What do you play?”
“ Drums, Accordion, Banjo, Bass, Shaker, Electric Ukulele, Gameboy , Guitar, Kazoo, Keyboards, Mandolin, Melodica, Omnichord, Organ, Piano, Slide whistle, Synthesizers, Tambourine, Theremin, Ukulele, Harp, Stylophone, Banjalele, Harmonium, Bombarde, Harpsichord, Qchord, Zither, Cello, Otamatone, Trumpet, the Didgeridoo, the Harmonica, the Ocarina, the Bells, the Bongos, the Chimes, the Glockenspiel, the Marimba, the Timpani, the Triangle, the Vibraphone, the Xylophone, Recorder and the Tin Whistle. I think that’s it.” He rattled off with incredible speed, looking over at Ben for confirmation. Jeez, how does one man play so many?
“You forgot the dulcimer. And I’m pretty sure we established at Teoh’s that time that you can’t play the cello.”
“I can. I got noise out of it.”
“Not good noise.”
“Better than you could.”
“I’m not denying that. But it was pretty bad. I think we found the one instrument that has defeated you.”
Tom stuck his tongue out childishly. This is turning into some sort of flirty tennis match
“Give me a bit of time and I’ll get it. It should just play like an oversized violin but it doesn’t and I got confused.”
“It’s okay; you’re still the best musician I know.” Ben reassured him.
“I know.” Tom smirked
“And modest too.”
“Another of my many talents.”
Tom smiled gently at Ben before the two of them burst out laughing. I glanced over at Alex and I’m fairly sure his expression mirrored my own; perplexion yet amusement at the pair.
“Noisy pair!” A male voice reprimanded, swatting the two playfully around the back of the head before dragging a seat from the table behind us and dropping into it, his butt having barely touched the hard plastic before he was hauled up by the collar by a surprisingly strong looking shorter guy who then took the seat. The first guy simply shrugged and sat on the second guys lap.
“Hey Teoh. Charlie.” Ben greeted, smiling warmly at the pair.
“Hey Ben. It’s been a while.” Said the second guy, the one with purple hair.
“I saw you last week, mate.” Ben laughed.
“Yeah, that’s a while in my book. I missed you since you moved out.”
“I missed you too, but I actually want to get some work done and living with you isn’t going to help that.”
“True. We’d probably just end up drunk and fucking all day.” The purple haired guy laughed.
“Probably? Isn’t that what we spent all summer doing?”
“Not all summer. We played some music as well, and you definitely spent a good chunk of your time fucking Milsom. Far too loudly, in my opinion.”
“You’re not exactly quiet either!” Ben retorted, feigning indignance.
“Yeah, well… Gonna introduce me to your friends or do I have to do it myself?”
“Oh yeah. This is Charlie and Alex.” Ben said, gesturing to each of us in turn. “Teoh.” He pointed to the purple haired guy. “And Charlie Casey, or Charlieskies. Whichever.”
“Nice to meet you both.” Alex said. He’d evidently been listening in and offered his hand to first Charlie then Teoh.
“Hi.”
“Nice jeans.” Teoh smirked
“Clash beautifully with your hair.” Alex replied, a faint smile playing across his lips.
“ Match my bedroom floor though.”
Alex simply raised an eyebrow flirtatiously.
I glanced over at Tom to see if what Ben had said earlier was true, about the way he looked at Teoh. The thinly veiled lust in Tom’s eyes was almost frightening. It was totally different to the way he looked at Ben. With Ben it was pure, unadulterated love. Which was beautiful to see. A flash of light in a dark world. And man, that was cheesy.
“Alright class, settle down. I’m Mr Armstrong, your teacher. So we’ll be starting the syllabus properly on Wednesday but for now I just want to see what you can do already. There’s instruments in the cupboard at the back - go wild!” He proclaimed, cheerfully. I decided I liked this teacher.
I carefully rose from my seat and made my way to the instruments cupboard, along with everyone else in the class. That place was like an Aladdin’s cave of music. There were guitars hanging on the walls, keyboards in racks, smaller instruments in drawers and just assorted pieces of equipment scattered everywhere. I spotted a beautiful old Fender acoustic, which I quickly laid claim to and carried back to the desk. I sat down just as Alex came out with another guitar, a Yamaha, and resumed his seat next to me.
“So go on, play something.” He urged of me. I was terribly insecure about my playing but I felt that, seeing as he is my best friend, I ought to at least play one song. I thought for a moment before beginning a song I had learnt from my mum. She used to sing it to me as a kid. I don’t even know what it’s called, but I’ve learnt all of the words and chords just from watching her play. I must ask her the name one day. It’s kind of my go-to song in situations like this.
About half way through as I began to relax into the music I realised that I wasn’t alone in my playing. Tom had joined in with me, just improvising on the keyboard he had got out of the cupboard. I marvelled at how easily he could make such beautiful music as I continued to play, my voice growing more confident with every passing bar until I felt almost comfortable when the end of the song came around.
“Sounded great, Charlieburg!” Alex enthused, clapping me on the shoulder.
“It was all down to Tom really. His keyboards were what really made it good.” I said, trying to shift the attention away from myself.
“He is pretty amazing.” Ben agreed, kissing the top of his head gently from where he stood behind his boyfriend.
“You’re good, dude. With a bit of practise and some work on your confidence you could be great.” Mr Armstrong agreed, much to my chagrin. I hadn’t heard him arrive. “But if you don’t mind me asking, why are you sat on his knee?” He asked Teoh and Charlie, in a stern but friendly manner.
“The chair’s hard.” Charlie replied, shrugging as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Mr Armstrong simply nodded, moving on to another group. I guess when you work with teenagers for a while you get used to their oddities.
“So will I be if you keep fidgeting like that.” Teoh muttered under his breath.
The lesson passed much as you would expect. Tom commandeered every instrument in the room and played them flawlessly leading to many accusations of being a show off, mainly from Teoh who was just fooling around with a keyboard. Alex played me a couple of Green Day songs on his guitar, none of which I recognised but sounded good none-the-less. Teoh and Charlie flirted a little, and Alex and Teoh even more so. I was beginning to warm to the crazy purple haired fellow, but Ben was right about him being intimidating. He was just so full on. Charlie was nice though, loud, but less so than Teoh. I mainly sat back and listened to the others chatting. They were a nice group, if a little colourful in terms of both appearance and language. But they were the first group of people that have made me feel the odd one out for having normal coloured hair.
Part 2
http://thegrouch314.livejournal.com/880.html
Part 3
http://thegrouch314.livejournal.com/753.html
And here is the amazing artwork that the wonderful nicoleh 262 did for it. So go be nice to her or something.
