Cinderella left behind a glass slipper...
I miss Megan already…so very much. I’m gonna miss her so much, though. It’s so lonely and empty without her… It’s not supposed to be like that. She’s supposed to stay. Even though, I know it’s not right for her. It’s selfish of me to say things like that…and I so didn’t want her to see me cry…and yet I did, just so she could be doubly sure that I’m gonna miss her tons and tons and tons. I did pretty good…all things considered. Megan did really, really well. It hurt just to hear her say, “Don’t cry now. Please, cry when you get back in the room, but don’t cry here.” Her gentle tones saying, “Stop it…Stooop it.” Och…it won’t ever be the same without her.
I was ready to cry when her mother said, not just referred, to her as Stupid-yes, like it was her name. Capital “s,” Stupid. I had so much rage and so many times I just wanted to bitch her out…but then…that may have made things worse for Meg, and I would never want that for her. Things are already awful.
God, it was just…horrid. I cannot believe it when her mom had one of the poles from the electronics shelf and pretended like she was just going to pound Megan down with it. Everyone was there.
I just… I don’t understand it. How can people do that? Megan is such a wonderful, wonderful girl. *shakes head* I fail to understand the concept. I know it’s out there, but when it slaps me in the face, it still hurts, and I’m still shocked. To think that it could be literal for Megan…makes me want to hunch over, vomit my guts, and die a bitter death. Not to be dramatic…but…it’s just a feeling.
I have other friends, too…and it’s just as awful. I want to make it all go away.
Disillusionment…it’s not an enjoyable thing. Did anyone ever read The Invisible Man? It’s a popular word in the book. There have been multiple stages of this…growing up, there always are. Why mine should maybe be so profound-it’s not. But to me, it is. Because it’s my own disillusionment.
I went through Rickie…that was an awful stage. I was just telling Megan about it last night, actually. How…how broken I became. I’ve seen it in my friends…and…and I don’t know how these people can do it. But when you’re confronted with something so evil…it’s like you’re sucked into it…and then there’s no way out. Despite some of my silly quirks, I really do hate running away. But with things like that…you just… you really have to run away. Or you never get away.
I want Megan to go live with her grandparents so very badly. She can cut herself off that way. Her brother is already in the process of hooking her up with a job at his restaurant. She has to fill out an application and such still, but…it’s hopeful.
Meg’s aunt: “Be niiice…”
Evil bitch: “Why?”
Meg’s aunt: *a chastising look*
Evil bitch: “I’m serious, why? *shrugging*”
I think she may have said something like she deserved it, but I really don’t care….the scene shouldn’t have even ever happened. To think that her mother would be asking why it is she shouldn’t strike her daughter with a metal pole… These things that happen to these people I love so dearly…*shakes head* It’s unbearable-but then it’s selfish to say…because it’s not unbearable for me…it is for them.
Yeah…
I love you, Megan. Meggy. My Cinderelli. *hugs* Come back to me soon. I shall miss you dearly.
I was ready to cry when her mother said, not just referred, to her as Stupid-yes, like it was her name. Capital “s,” Stupid. I had so much rage and so many times I just wanted to bitch her out…but then…that may have made things worse for Meg, and I would never want that for her. Things are already awful.
God, it was just…horrid. I cannot believe it when her mom had one of the poles from the electronics shelf and pretended like she was just going to pound Megan down with it. Everyone was there.
I just… I don’t understand it. How can people do that? Megan is such a wonderful, wonderful girl. *shakes head* I fail to understand the concept. I know it’s out there, but when it slaps me in the face, it still hurts, and I’m still shocked. To think that it could be literal for Megan…makes me want to hunch over, vomit my guts, and die a bitter death. Not to be dramatic…but…it’s just a feeling.
I have other friends, too…and it’s just as awful. I want to make it all go away.
Disillusionment…it’s not an enjoyable thing. Did anyone ever read The Invisible Man? It’s a popular word in the book. There have been multiple stages of this…growing up, there always are. Why mine should maybe be so profound-it’s not. But to me, it is. Because it’s my own disillusionment.
I went through Rickie…that was an awful stage. I was just telling Megan about it last night, actually. How…how broken I became. I’ve seen it in my friends…and…and I don’t know how these people can do it. But when you’re confronted with something so evil…it’s like you’re sucked into it…and then there’s no way out. Despite some of my silly quirks, I really do hate running away. But with things like that…you just… you really have to run away. Or you never get away.
I want Megan to go live with her grandparents so very badly. She can cut herself off that way. Her brother is already in the process of hooking her up with a job at his restaurant. She has to fill out an application and such still, but…it’s hopeful.
Meg’s aunt: “Be niiice…”
Evil bitch: “Why?”
Meg’s aunt: *a chastising look*
Evil bitch: “I’m serious, why? *shrugging*”
I think she may have said something like she deserved it, but I really don’t care….the scene shouldn’t have even ever happened. To think that her mother would be asking why it is she shouldn’t strike her daughter with a metal pole… These things that happen to these people I love so dearly…*shakes head* It’s unbearable-but then it’s selfish to say…because it’s not unbearable for me…it is for them.
Yeah…
I love you, Megan. Meggy. My Cinderelli. *hugs* Come back to me soon. I shall miss you dearly.