life is weird man
I've done a lot of things in my short life. I've been to places, physically and spiritually, that most people will never experience ever in their entire lives. I've literally tried every drug known to man, i still don't know if that's a bad thing or not. I mean some of them, like oxy, fentanyl and heroin have destroyed my life. But would I give up those experiences? No, probably not. It's made me who I am today. Did I have a lot of fun? Hell yes. Probably more than most. Probably too much fun. I often feel like i understand life, and good and evil more than most people ever can because i have lived it. At the same time. Seeing all the kids i went to high school with on facebook. Seeing them in all different places, having graduated or about to graduate, doing well having good jobs getting good jobs. I don't know. I know I'll be ok eventually. I really do know I'm very intelligent and talented and I will be successful in whatever I choose, it's just that sometimes I'm embarassed when people ask me what i'm doing now. I know I'm doing good and I'm on the right path and I'm going to be successful over the next three years. I don't care what people think. fuck people. But everyone knows they really do care what people think.. somewhere inside.. I hate that. I really am proud of myself, I just don't conform to the standard of "four years after high school graduation = college graduation => looking for start to career" I'm a 22 year old boy. shit. I don't know what job I'm gonna have. I know I'll always write... But what's gonna pay the bills till I sell a book or a movie... Fucked if i know. fucked if i care. I just want to create art. But I will have plenty of time for that without having to worry about working while im florida. So that's where I'm at I suppose... peece out cubscouts.