(no subject)
here's an update, i'm in seattle :p got here last night with jen, erin, kah, n' em after jen n' i picked em up the night before n' brought her up to bellingham.
i hope that coming here till friday hasn't made jen disappointed or anything, that's the impression i got as they left, anyway.
i'm tired n' a lil' shaky, which is annoying because my shaking was getting better, but at least right now it's not too bad, so that's good.
i'm in em's english class, just chillin'--being attacked by meat juice n' books falling on me, but it's ok. ;) the people are pretty nice, n' the class is a lil' interesting. prolly would've been more interesting had i actually read the book they're discussing. oh well. it's nice being in a different school, having a different perspective on classes outside of WWU. i donno....good change of pace.
hope that being in the dorm w/ gina n' em during their difficulties isn't making things worse...i'd like to be able to help...hopefully being here is at least giving em a sense of security when she's feeling like all of her new found security in gina is fading....i know how it feels to lose that all of a sudden n' not know how to go about the future. am not entirely sure if being here is a good thing for me, seeing as i feel like i'm reliving all the same feelings n' it's kinda hard...but i donno...
i'm glad that i'm just away from bellingham this entire weekend. i'm a lil' tired of being there...only 2 weeks after this weekend. it's crazy that it's gone by so fast when so much has happened. i can't wait to get back 'home' even though i'm sooo in the dark when it comes to where i'm living/what to expect with family issues.
--speaking of family issues. i'm still not sure what i'm gonna do about the whole excommunication letter sending thing. i've had the advice to just get it over with because i don't believe in it anyway, plus it's ultimately my decision...that in general it doesn't matter if i do or not. or that i should wait until after the summer so that in sending the letter i don't cause more turmoil with my mom n' her family. if i do send it, it'll make my mom mad/sad n' she'll almost definitely blame my dad for my decision. it's very possible that she'll "disown" me to an extent. and i don't know if i can live with that--especially while i'm home this summer. gah, i don't know. this is something that i WANT to do; but i don't want to do it out of spite--which i'm not entirely sure why i have--and i don't want to NOT do it because of fear of what my mom'll do. it's pissing me off that this has to be such a huge decision...when it's really not. it's just annoying. and it sucks that pretty much i have to figure this out on my own, because i have no mormon friends/friends who've gotten out n' know what i'm going through...instead i have friends who can only assume. and that's tough to deal with along with all the other things i need to explain for even a remote sense of understanding. annoying.
on a lighter note..em's english teacher thinks we look alike. hehe. never heard that one before...but i guess we could if we tried.
yup. all done.
i hope that coming here till friday hasn't made jen disappointed or anything, that's the impression i got as they left, anyway.
i'm tired n' a lil' shaky, which is annoying because my shaking was getting better, but at least right now it's not too bad, so that's good.
i'm in em's english class, just chillin'--being attacked by meat juice n' books falling on me, but it's ok. ;) the people are pretty nice, n' the class is a lil' interesting. prolly would've been more interesting had i actually read the book they're discussing. oh well. it's nice being in a different school, having a different perspective on classes outside of WWU. i donno....good change of pace.
hope that being in the dorm w/ gina n' em during their difficulties isn't making things worse...i'd like to be able to help...hopefully being here is at least giving em a sense of security when she's feeling like all of her new found security in gina is fading....i know how it feels to lose that all of a sudden n' not know how to go about the future. am not entirely sure if being here is a good thing for me, seeing as i feel like i'm reliving all the same feelings n' it's kinda hard...but i donno...
i'm glad that i'm just away from bellingham this entire weekend. i'm a lil' tired of being there...only 2 weeks after this weekend. it's crazy that it's gone by so fast when so much has happened. i can't wait to get back 'home' even though i'm sooo in the dark when it comes to where i'm living/what to expect with family issues.
--speaking of family issues. i'm still not sure what i'm gonna do about the whole excommunication letter sending thing. i've had the advice to just get it over with because i don't believe in it anyway, plus it's ultimately my decision...that in general it doesn't matter if i do or not. or that i should wait until after the summer so that in sending the letter i don't cause more turmoil with my mom n' her family. if i do send it, it'll make my mom mad/sad n' she'll almost definitely blame my dad for my decision. it's very possible that she'll "disown" me to an extent. and i don't know if i can live with that--especially while i'm home this summer. gah, i don't know. this is something that i WANT to do; but i don't want to do it out of spite--which i'm not entirely sure why i have--and i don't want to NOT do it because of fear of what my mom'll do. it's pissing me off that this has to be such a huge decision...when it's really not. it's just annoying. and it sucks that pretty much i have to figure this out on my own, because i have no mormon friends/friends who've gotten out n' know what i'm going through...instead i have friends who can only assume. and that's tough to deal with along with all the other things i need to explain for even a remote sense of understanding. annoying.
on a lighter note..em's english teacher thinks we look alike. hehe. never heard that one before...but i guess we could if we tried.
yup. all done.