The Selfish Rant of Birth Daze
Warning: Insecure Self pity party follows.
For the record, I tend to think that people who tout of their impending birthdays to their friends more than a couple of times are looking to get something, if nothing but attention. I am quite sure that I did this in my youth as many kids do. However, at some point, I realized what I was doing and I did not like it. In jest or as a joke is one thing, but to continue to bring it up more than a few times just rubs me wrong.
I would much prefer that my friends that are aware of it, by whatever means, approach me or greet me in whatever manner they prefer and of their own volition. I DO, in fact, greatly appreciate any "Happy Birthday" greetings and I'm happy that it happens at all, as I am sure almost everyone does. My appreciation is genuine. Its just that in these days of FaceBook and phone apps and personal calendars and social networks, it tends to feel ever so gently like a slight when those you care about, for whatever reason, seem to be unaware of your birthday and just go on as normal, not knowing. It feels like they don't care, even when you know that they do.
You don't want to bring it up and you hope that they do remember. Maybe you secretly hope that maybe they have just been busy and it has honestly slipped their mind as I have seen actually happen. But then the big day passes, and then another, and another and... nothing. This simple cultural event among friends and family members, just simply saying "Happy birthday", is such a small and inconsequential thing. Yet as an institution, so many people internalize it and hope that their having been forgotten is not a true reflection of the feelings of the friends surrounding them.
'Zat make any sense?
But ya know what? It isn't an accurate reflection. Life happens for those around you as well and things happen and move on. Many feel bad when they realize they have missed such an event as personal as a birthday that was important to them. Things happen and distract and intervene and interfere. No one is perfect. I certainly am not. I have forgotten the birthdays of friends and even family. I'm sure I will again. It doesn't mean I love or care any less about them. I do wish I had remembered.
I'm just human and getting older.
A couple of years ago, I forgot my friend Tom's birthday. I remembered a few days later and when I told him happy birthday, he grinned, dismissed it, and said,"Allen, neither of us is lacking birthdays."
I flipped him off and bought him dinner.
For the record, I tend to think that people who tout of their impending birthdays to their friends more than a couple of times are looking to get something, if nothing but attention. I am quite sure that I did this in my youth as many kids do. However, at some point, I realized what I was doing and I did not like it. In jest or as a joke is one thing, but to continue to bring it up more than a few times just rubs me wrong.
I would much prefer that my friends that are aware of it, by whatever means, approach me or greet me in whatever manner they prefer and of their own volition. I DO, in fact, greatly appreciate any "Happy Birthday" greetings and I'm happy that it happens at all, as I am sure almost everyone does. My appreciation is genuine. Its just that in these days of FaceBook and phone apps and personal calendars and social networks, it tends to feel ever so gently like a slight when those you care about, for whatever reason, seem to be unaware of your birthday and just go on as normal, not knowing. It feels like they don't care, even when you know that they do.
You don't want to bring it up and you hope that they do remember. Maybe you secretly hope that maybe they have just been busy and it has honestly slipped their mind as I have seen actually happen. But then the big day passes, and then another, and another and... nothing. This simple cultural event among friends and family members, just simply saying "Happy birthday", is such a small and inconsequential thing. Yet as an institution, so many people internalize it and hope that their having been forgotten is not a true reflection of the feelings of the friends surrounding them.
'Zat make any sense?
But ya know what? It isn't an accurate reflection. Life happens for those around you as well and things happen and move on. Many feel bad when they realize they have missed such an event as personal as a birthday that was important to them. Things happen and distract and intervene and interfere. No one is perfect. I certainly am not. I have forgotten the birthdays of friends and even family. I'm sure I will again. It doesn't mean I love or care any less about them. I do wish I had remembered.
I'm just human and getting older.
A couple of years ago, I forgot my friend Tom's birthday. I remembered a few days later and when I told him happy birthday, he grinned, dismissed it, and said,"Allen, neither of us is lacking birthdays."
I flipped him off and bought him dinner.