Stardate (-31)6403.15 - Soapbox to No One

[thegr8bofeenee]

About proper that I end up missing the interesting scenes.

Go figure that if I'd been there, I could have proven a couple of points about four hundred times each.  Had to leave about an hour before it went down, though.

Okay, first thing's first. Names are eliminated. Places are not. There is one individual involved in the following story whom I am not at all acquainted with. Due to his observed behavior BEFORE I departed this little shindig, however, I had decided he was/is not really a decent person. Eh, well. . . the world's full of those. Just sucks when they end up acting that much more moronic towards my people.

Let's give some background for the denizens that do not reside here locally. You non-northeastern Louisiana folks will need this to understand the whole bit.

• This whole mess centers around a year-long relationship between two friends that came to an abrupt and somewhat questionable halt not too long ago.
• I had determined not to take sides, but this was just stupid.
• What was previously a typical "It's not you. It's me." classification of break-up changed into a beastly convoluted mess with a couple of extemporaneous events and circumstances that were discovered completely by accident.
• I am still making attempts to not take sides. My disappointment has grown exponentially, which makes this more difficult to do.

Alright, let's see here. The Blue Monkey is one of my preferred night spots on the rare occasions I get to go out. Since I am in the middle of a couple of days between jobs and my good friend Son Krushal was in town for a visit, what better place to go and partake in tasty adult beverages? A little karaoke, some jokes in ill taste, good friends. . . can't ask for better.

Well, I need an alias. . . Phaedra will do. Phaedra had noted that certain affiliates of her former significant Astyanax would not speak to her. She inquired to me if I knew why. I made mention of an out-of-state locality that led to the initial discovery of aforementioned convolution. We spoke briefly about it. I advised her of my thoughts and asked if Medea had anything to do with her decision. It was denied, so I felt minor relief in that respect. I did not know that Phaedra was there with a new object of amusement, however.

I found out after the fact that said object (who will remain without alias due to my not knowing him personally) was a fellow that had already been acting like a complete and utter tit earlier in the night. He had been showing disresectful behavior towards Son's lady, improperly glancing at my own wife (whom we are all aware is a good seven months with child), and generally acting out in an effort to be amusing to his equally disappointing failures of friends. I had to stand up from my chair two or three times when he would get too close for our liking. Come to find out, this fellow in red was Phaedra's choice that evening. . . not even two full weeks after the disastrous separation with Astyanax.

Let the record show that Astyanax was not present at this point of the night.

My little cluster decided it was time to leave at about midnight-thirty. We had other things to do during the next day or so, and sleep would be required to get these things carried out successfully. Off we went, thinking it was a night well-spent.

The following details are presented from matching second and third hand accounts. All details were checked between sources for validity and accuracy. The vehement opinion and lambasting of culprits that follows belongs to me. The subjects will probably be offended, hurt, and otherwise angered at my thoughts. Que sera sera, kittentits!

Astyanax showed up shortly after departure to talk with Phaedra in an effort to iron out questions and seek closure. This was all going well, apaprently, until our friend in red thought he could be funny/macho/I'm not sure what he was going for, but it didn't work.

Our friend in red follows Phaedra and Astyanax outside and begins to hurl invective at Astyanax. Insults that were unfounded and uncalled for. Astyanax was angered, and rightfully so. The man in red would have been severely injured if Astyanax didn't have very good friends still at The Blue Monkey. . . friends with his own well-being in mind. They subdued him after the fellow in red decided it was proper to call Astyanax "uncontrollable." We would have known the definition quite well. . . moreso if me and mine had still been present.

Okay, here's where my anger at this whole bit enters. Ready?

If you still care for him so much, why did you let your new toy act like that? If you DID care for him as you claim, you would have asked that worthless scum to go back inside. You would have told him that you needed to get this done and over with. You would have looked out for everyone's better interests.

Instead, you must have decided that the attention was worth more than respect of others. You must have thought that such a spectacle would solve your problems and would make them disappear. . . out of embarassment? Sister, it doesn't work that way. You multiplied the problem. You set yourself up to be the ass-end of many people's hatred. You caused more grief that it was ever worth in the first place. You lied about still caring even though the love had faded.

Letting that excuse of a circus act occur. . . pathetic and proving of your/his maturity levels. Letting it get to that point when YOU HAD THE POWER TO PREVENT IT FROM EVER OCCURRING. . . pathetic and proving of your/his emotional and mental faculties. Pretending it didn't happen and acting as if everything was just hunky-dory. . . pathetic and proving of your (and only your) deserving such a horrid excuse of flesh and soul to play games with instead of someone we all know as a prince of a man.

You could have stopped it. There's no valid excuse. The fellow in red can say nothing that will justifiy it. He can do nothing that will ever prove himself to me or the gallery of intelligence and thought I hold close. I'd rather him not try, either. I have no time to deal with such failures.

Why, sister?

You had to go off and disappoint me again. You had to let it get out of hand. You had to try and let someone else fight for you when time and again, I've said that the only gateway to success, happiness, and true enlightenment is through self and self alone. Such a harsh regression. . . such a fall from the grace you were beginning to attain. . . I hope it feels like whatever gaps you were trying to fill might be getting filled, because sister, you just dug in deeper and made the battle that much more difficult.

/fin

Oh, and mad appreciation to the folks who brought wonderful gifts to Kennedy's shower. Sadly, I had to have a beef with the way it went.

That shower was supposed to be about my daughter. Those of you who decided it would be funny to turn it into a "Let's roast Bo" event and try to tell me how things are going to go down the road. . . No thanks.

I have received one apology already, which I do accept and appreciate.

Let's get a few things knocked out of the way while I'm still on this stump, though. You know, since apparently even a few immediate family members have put my capabilities as a father into question.

• I am perfectly capable of tending to the fatherly delivery room duties myself. I am not that weak, emotionally or stomach-wise.
• I am perfectly aware of the way infants operate. I helped raise my brother and sister. I have helped many friends with their own children at ages cradle to school-bus. I know what is involved. I know it is difficult more often than not.
• I am perfectly able to learn on-the-fly. I have no need of your variosu wit and wisdoms. Last I checked, my mother did and still does a bloody fine job at giving advice, supporting. . . being a mother. Last I checked, my father was and is one of the better ones on this island Earth. I've got wonderful resources to consult when I need to. I do not want it all thrown at me at once.
• I am perfectly fine with running my household the way I wish. I work the insane hours and dangerous jobs for the specific and explicit purpose of making sure that my family is provided for and comfortable. I smoke because I would much rather spend about $60 a month on a couple of cartons of Marlboro Ultra Lights than spend up to $450+ on three different prescription meds to keep my nerves in line. If you had to go even three days carrying my brain's inner workings around, your ass would smoke like nobody's business, too! Trust me, the meds. . . no, you would rather me smoke and be able to carry out daily tasks than to be an emotionless zombie with little to no care of my environment.
• I am perfectly willing to listen to other people's perspectives on parenting and possibly take them into account in my own experiences. Do not tell me, though, that there is a right way and everything deviating from that way is horrendously wrong. There is no set-in-stone method save Biblical suggestions. It's mine to screw up and fix. I'll suffer the consequences as they come. I am quite familiar with suffering, you know, with that whole weird medical history of mine and all.
• I am perfectly prepared to take this little girl and give her the absolute best. I will do anything and everything within my power to make sure she can achieve the fullest potential of her talents, likes, and desires. I will be more than happy to help out when needed and stand back when appropriate. I will be quite ready to make the determination of discipline, advice, a hug, or all three.
• I am perfectly ready, despite popular belief, and I do not appreciate people continuing to try and find weak points at which they may stab. Please discontinue doing so. You're making it more of a task than it already is, and I have no desire to waste energy on such foolishness.

So yes, if I want your opinion and/or ideas on parenting, I will ask forthwith.
If I want suggestions, I will poll the masses.
As for the joking, the prodding, and the "OMG!YOUGOTTADOTHISWAY!YOULLNEVERSLEEP!YOUREGONNABEMISERABLEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!ITSSOFUNNYTOUS!!!" Yeah, stop that immediately.
Next person that does issue such a statement or implies I am a moron who doesn't know that baby crap stinks to high hell and that I'm otherwise incompetent when it comes to just about everything (that's the tone I keep reading). . . forget it. Just back off and let me experience this for myself. If you're trying to get in on it all because you missed out on something. . . well, I'm sorry, but you'll have to find some other people for that.

Best intentions always welcome, but please limit your words and chooose them wisely.