Comments | thegothamtimes: ASK TWO-FACE

harvey_twoface in thegothamtimes

ASK TWO-FACE

Apr 10, 2009 22:00

I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE THE ADVICE OF CERTAIN PARTIES AND OFFER MY SERVICES AS AN ADVICE COLUMNIST. TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS AND I'LL TRY NOT TO MAKE THEM ANY WORSE. NO PROMISES, THOUGH.

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rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:12:37 UTC

I'm in love with a man who is in love with my childhood friend. Also, we have a son who is missing. I am very confused.

What's a good book to read?

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:13:56 UTC

HAVE A THREESOME. KILL THE KID.

"CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL."

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:16:27 UTC

Ohhh. Those books are great.

Tell me, hon, have you read "Chicken Soup for the Ex-DA With A Crazy Murderous Alter-Ego's Split-in-Two Soul" yet? It's pretty interesting.

And I like your first suggestion, but I don't really want to kill my son.

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:18:08 UTC

THREESOME WITH YOUR SON?

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:18:48 UTC

... Wait, who would be the third person?

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:19:46 UTC

...NEVERMIND.

OH! HERE'S A GOOD THREESOME: YOU, ME, AND ME. THE OTHER THIRD IS DENT. :D

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:20:48 UTC

Now, that's more like it.

Remind me why we've never screwed before? You sound like a freak in the sack.

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:24:37 UTC

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T REALLY THINK OF A GOOD REASON. WE CONSIDER IT A LOT, DON'T WE?

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:27:29 UTC

Seems that way. Well, the offer always stands if you - you know - get tired of dealing with Bruce.

On the other hand, what else do you do besides screwing and reading the news? Maybe we could get together. Have lunch. Or not, and say we did.

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:36:39 UTC

I'M ALWAYS TIRED OF DEALING WITH BRUCE.

LUNCH? ...LIKE, IN A RESTAURANT, TOGETHER, AT THE SAME TIME AND PLACE?

...I GUESS.

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:42:25 UTC

Or a bar.

Or a bedroom.

Oh, the places you'll go!

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:44:28 UTC

...HUH. I THINK I LIKE YOU, KID. WE'LL SEE, OKAY?

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:45:17 UTC

Just let me know ahead of time so I can mark it down in my datebook. <3

harvey_twoface April 11 2009, 05:47:47 UTC

YEAH, OKAY. WEDNESDAY, 8:00 PM. THE STEAKHOUSE AT 17TH AND INDIANA. BE THERE OR I'LL KILL YOU.

rachel_dawes77 April 11 2009, 05:49:11 UTC

Great! I'll have to find something nice to wear.

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