I know this for sure. I'm walking out that door.. again.
Yeah, today. Umm.. today... I guess I have to start from Sunday. It was Sunday night. I was talking to Amanda about how lonely this week was going to be since Suzy is gone. She said she was free after monday and that we could do something Tuesday. I was psyched. Then, Tuesday morning, Amanda nonchalantly says she's watching the gooches practice.. Okay, whatever, it's cool. She says we can do something Wednesday. Today. I was still psyched. So, I wake up today and get online. It's about noon. Amanda has an away message. So, I sit and wait for her to come back. She has that same away message all day. No call either. I'm just confused. Then, Emm's talking to Josh online (at 5:30pm) and he says Amanda's been hanging out with the gooches again today. I didn't really get it. I mean, she could've told me? So, then Jason signs on and he starts talking to Emm. And Amanda's talking through Jason to Emm to tell me. She's says she just forgot. That she's sorry. ANd that she can do something tomorrow. Firstly, I'm calling Tiff tomorrow because we said we'd do something before she left Friday and I don't think she's going to "forget". But secondly, I don't want to do anything. She doesn't understand why I'm so pissed off. Well, maybe you don't understand how insecure I am. To be forgotten hurts like a bitch. To sit in your living room all day wondering why your friend doesn't want to do anything like she said does make a person feel bad. And she doesn't even have the heart to call me. All she does is talk through Jason on AIM. And suddenly, Dr. Jason tells me I'm putting dents in the relationship. I'M PUTTING DENTS? Did I forget someone? Nope. I can't fucking wait until Friday. Suzy's back. And speaking of, Suzy called today. It was great. We talked for about twenty minutes and I liked it. Gosh, when you only have one friend, it sucks when they leave. It's like I'm back in middle school all over again. Having no friends and being so damn lonely. I hated that time. And I feel like it's that time again. No one wants to do anything with me. No one wants to remember me. Everyone makes goddamn false promises. I think Friday I'm going to like. Lucy's partay and Suzy. And maybe this weekend we can take apart my bunk bed.
Well, that's enough bitching for now. Man, it seems to be survey fever lately. No one posts much about their days or their thoughts. It's always "do this survey so I can feel good about myself" shit. Meh. It bothers me, I guess, but I do them anyway. And I give all the lame-ass answers. I think this entry is going to piss people off. Mainly the survey princes and princesses and the person I put a "dent" in. I don't know what I'm going to do the rest of this summer. No one wants to do anything with me. I already know quite a few who have avoided me or just ignored me all together. Although, there is one I'm just not sure about at all. I want to call this kid, but I'm one nervous insecure fuck. As always, this entry has turned into another bitchfest... even though I said I'd quit.
I'll talk about my newly painted nails, I guess. My fingernails are pink with a pruple stripe and my toenails are purple with a pink stripe. Damn I am tacky. But get bored. Oh, and I have $2 to spend for the rest of this month. I have ten in my wallet, though. See, there's $6 towards Fuel on Saturday and there's $2 that Suzy snuck in. Do the math, and that leaves $2 left for fun this month. God I suck. Shit, I'm bitching again. Someone should call me tomorrow. Anyone. I don't give a damn if you're fucking Hitler. I don't give a fuck if you're not really my friend or if you're older or if you think I won't like it. Just please do it. Twenty bucks says no one calls. And Fifty bucks says no one even comments on this post. I'm out.
Well, that's enough bitching for now. Man, it seems to be survey fever lately. No one posts much about their days or their thoughts. It's always "do this survey so I can feel good about myself" shit. Meh. It bothers me, I guess, but I do them anyway. And I give all the lame-ass answers. I think this entry is going to piss people off. Mainly the survey princes and princesses and the person I put a "dent" in. I don't know what I'm going to do the rest of this summer. No one wants to do anything with me. I already know quite a few who have avoided me or just ignored me all together. Although, there is one I'm just not sure about at all. I want to call this kid, but I'm one nervous insecure fuck. As always, this entry has turned into another bitchfest... even though I said I'd quit.
I'll talk about my newly painted nails, I guess. My fingernails are pink with a pruple stripe and my toenails are purple with a pink stripe. Damn I am tacky. But get bored. Oh, and I have $2 to spend for the rest of this month. I have ten in my wallet, though. See, there's $6 towards Fuel on Saturday and there's $2 that Suzy snuck in. Do the math, and that leaves $2 left for fun this month. God I suck. Shit, I'm bitching again. Someone should call me tomorrow. Anyone. I don't give a damn if you're fucking Hitler. I don't give a fuck if you're not really my friend or if you're older or if you think I won't like it. Just please do it. Twenty bucks says no one calls. And Fifty bucks says no one even comments on this post. I'm out.