(no subject)
So, my livejournal tells me it has been 26 weeks since my last post.
I understand now what Mr. Larson meant when he wrote the words "how do you measure a year in the life." I'm having difficulty measuring the last 26 weeks let alone an entire year.
A year ago today I was dancing the night away on my 18th birthday in Philadelphia with some brand new friends downtown. It is now my 19th birthday and I'm in my best friends guest bedroom in Santa Clarita, California. And somehow I can't map all that has happened between that 18 year old and the 19 year old writing these very words.
I know I've changed that's for sure. But who doesn't. That's what this is all about, changing right?
18 left me a little less hopeful, a little heartbroken, a bit unsure, and a list full of questions... Ones that most likely won't be answered anytime soon.
This won't happen to me again. I won't allow it. 19 will make me stronger than that, 19 will give me some answers. 19 will be different. It has to be.
This year I've lost 2 best friends, made one more, moved from Santa Clarita to Philadelphia, back to Santa Clarita and now to Arizona. I've lost a home, a person I thought I could love, a baby cousin, and a piece of innocence that left me naive to the disappointments of the world. All this not to ask for pity, simply a wake up call that I'm going to do better. I won't allow these situations to shape me anymore. I will shape myself and stop being a prisoner to circumstance. I will mold this clay of my life into a sculpture I can be proud of.
Well I guess there it is, this past year. 18 to 19. Briefly summed up into a paragraph or two filled with words that don't possibly, can't possibly carry the weight of their meanings. Can't possibly describe the stories this past year has told, can't relay to you the things I've felt, these experiences I've had.
All I know is things will be different for me after today. They have to be. I'll make it be.
19 will be different.
Peace, Light, and Love,
~Jordan.
"How many roads must a man walk, before he can be called a man?"
I understand now what Mr. Larson meant when he wrote the words "how do you measure a year in the life." I'm having difficulty measuring the last 26 weeks let alone an entire year.
A year ago today I was dancing the night away on my 18th birthday in Philadelphia with some brand new friends downtown. It is now my 19th birthday and I'm in my best friends guest bedroom in Santa Clarita, California. And somehow I can't map all that has happened between that 18 year old and the 19 year old writing these very words.
I know I've changed that's for sure. But who doesn't. That's what this is all about, changing right?
18 left me a little less hopeful, a little heartbroken, a bit unsure, and a list full of questions... Ones that most likely won't be answered anytime soon.
This won't happen to me again. I won't allow it. 19 will make me stronger than that, 19 will give me some answers. 19 will be different. It has to be.
This year I've lost 2 best friends, made one more, moved from Santa Clarita to Philadelphia, back to Santa Clarita and now to Arizona. I've lost a home, a person I thought I could love, a baby cousin, and a piece of innocence that left me naive to the disappointments of the world. All this not to ask for pity, simply a wake up call that I'm going to do better. I won't allow these situations to shape me anymore. I will shape myself and stop being a prisoner to circumstance. I will mold this clay of my life into a sculpture I can be proud of.
Well I guess there it is, this past year. 18 to 19. Briefly summed up into a paragraph or two filled with words that don't possibly, can't possibly carry the weight of their meanings. Can't possibly describe the stories this past year has told, can't relay to you the things I've felt, these experiences I've had.
All I know is things will be different for me after today. They have to be. I'll make it be.
19 will be different.
Peace, Light, and Love,
~Jordan.
"How many roads must a man walk, before he can be called a man?"