Things about me meme bullshit
I dont do meme's. Though I saw one recently which I thought was sort of interesting. 5 things about me or something like that. I care so little about these things that I refuse to post the text. However, I have been doing a lot of introspection lately and thought that this might prove interesting.
Five things you likely dont know about me.
1) I am a writer. But I am terrified of rejection. Furthermore, I am so critical of my work that I really haven't written anything of substance since 2005. Which is a LONG time to neglect something you love. This happens when a part of you dies.
2) I have attempted suicide twice. The first time was with pills in a typical call for help scenario. The only thing I really recall is vomiting a lot afterward. My mother was at work. Technically nobody really knew about this until now. The second attempt was legit. I wanted to die. I was homeless, unemployed, drowning in debt, my friends were moving away and the woman I wanted to die next to and risked it all for left me the day after I shopped for an engagement ring. It was not a good time to be James. I stepped in front of a city bus in Santa Monica California. I was struck and knocked several feet away. Remarkably, I only received some bruises and actually ran from the scene totally mortified that I couldn't even kill myself correctly.
3) Most people that think they are my friends are not. Due to having been hurt many times in my early life by people that I trusted I do not trust easily. As a direct result I find that I am far more comfortable with an extremely small group of friends whom I know I can count on. The rest of the people who I am from time to time associated with are nice enough but I just don't trust them. There is nothing wrong with them. I'm just hard to get close to.
4) I am often thinking on three other conversations while you are talking to me. Its not that I dont care what you are saying. Its more that my mind simply functions that way. I am often thinking on mundane things such as "how much gas is in the car?" or " what's for lunch". My mind simply wanders unless it is something that requires my undivided attention.
5) I have a mental disorder called Dyscalulia. Think of it as dyslexia but with numbers. This has contributed to my complete inability to pass math courses in my scholastic life. The irony of course being that I write checks for a living at an insurance company.
Thats it.
James
Five things you likely dont know about me.
1) I am a writer. But I am terrified of rejection. Furthermore, I am so critical of my work that I really haven't written anything of substance since 2005. Which is a LONG time to neglect something you love. This happens when a part of you dies.
2) I have attempted suicide twice. The first time was with pills in a typical call for help scenario. The only thing I really recall is vomiting a lot afterward. My mother was at work. Technically nobody really knew about this until now. The second attempt was legit. I wanted to die. I was homeless, unemployed, drowning in debt, my friends were moving away and the woman I wanted to die next to and risked it all for left me the day after I shopped for an engagement ring. It was not a good time to be James. I stepped in front of a city bus in Santa Monica California. I was struck and knocked several feet away. Remarkably, I only received some bruises and actually ran from the scene totally mortified that I couldn't even kill myself correctly.
3) Most people that think they are my friends are not. Due to having been hurt many times in my early life by people that I trusted I do not trust easily. As a direct result I find that I am far more comfortable with an extremely small group of friends whom I know I can count on. The rest of the people who I am from time to time associated with are nice enough but I just don't trust them. There is nothing wrong with them. I'm just hard to get close to.
4) I am often thinking on three other conversations while you are talking to me. Its not that I dont care what you are saying. Its more that my mind simply functions that way. I am often thinking on mundane things such as "how much gas is in the car?" or " what's for lunch". My mind simply wanders unless it is something that requires my undivided attention.
5) I have a mental disorder called Dyscalulia. Think of it as dyslexia but with numbers. This has contributed to my complete inability to pass math courses in my scholastic life. The irony of course being that I write checks for a living at an insurance company.
Thats it.
James