(no subject)
I'm really dissapointed in people right now.
Just because I do that shit doesn't mean that you should. I don't care about the other shit. BUT THIS?! This is what you think you need to do? You can hardly controll yourself around green, how the fuck do you expect to be able to controll yourself around tweak? [Which, by the way, is 10x's more addictive than green.] What the fuck were you thinking? I'm pissed at him for letting you and I'm pissed at him for getting you caught up with it. But I'm extremly dissapointed in you for actually doing it. What, do you think it's cool? "Oh yeah, I smoke tweak. Aren't I just the fucking coolest?" Fuck that. If anything, it's pathetic. Your pathetic for doing it. I know I'm being hipicritial with all of this. But I'm aloud to be. I KNOW I'm pathetic.
There's just so much caught up with this shit. You can't even begin to imagine. I walk around everyday having a hard time trying not to think about it, and everyday I fail horribly. I basically hold on, even with it, by a thread. Doing it with my friend Chris and/or my Mom is all that keeps me going. I mean, if you're going to do anything, we'd all prefer you sticking to green. And I know that you, along with everyone else who knows that I do it, would prefer along me to do the same thing. But I don't care. I've been through wayyyyy more of this kindof shit than any of the people we know. And I know that I'm fine. But if you're going to try and turn this around on me than go ahead. But THIS has nothing to do with ME.
I know I've relapsed. I know that I promised, myself and everyone else, that just because I started smoking green again, did not mean I was going to do any of the other fucked up shit I did. I've gone back to the way I was and I'm pathetic, I know. I was an idiot then and I'm and idiot now. And I couldn't care less. Oh my god, if you could see me, even on a good day, you would be sceared shitless to even get close to it. It's just not worth it.
I understand why you tryed it. Everyone deserves to feel that way at least once in their lifetime. To feel the spin, the rush from the chemicals. To feel like nothing in the entire universe could ever hurt you, to actually feel invincable. But there are other highs you can get that from, natural highs.
Everyone wants to know why I've changed, why I've pulled away, and a part of it because of tweak. But you want to end up like me, then go ahead. I'm an inch away from mom throwing my ass in rehab and I've basically lost everyone I've ever cared about. So please, go ahead and follow in my footsteps.
-sigh-
Just because I do that shit doesn't mean that you should. I don't care about the other shit. BUT THIS?! This is what you think you need to do? You can hardly controll yourself around green, how the fuck do you expect to be able to controll yourself around tweak? [Which, by the way, is 10x's more addictive than green.] What the fuck were you thinking? I'm pissed at him for letting you and I'm pissed at him for getting you caught up with it. But I'm extremly dissapointed in you for actually doing it. What, do you think it's cool? "Oh yeah, I smoke tweak. Aren't I just the fucking coolest?" Fuck that. If anything, it's pathetic. Your pathetic for doing it. I know I'm being hipicritial with all of this. But I'm aloud to be. I KNOW I'm pathetic.
There's just so much caught up with this shit. You can't even begin to imagine. I walk around everyday having a hard time trying not to think about it, and everyday I fail horribly. I basically hold on, even with it, by a thread. Doing it with my friend Chris and/or my Mom is all that keeps me going. I mean, if you're going to do anything, we'd all prefer you sticking to green. And I know that you, along with everyone else who knows that I do it, would prefer along me to do the same thing. But I don't care. I've been through wayyyyy more of this kindof shit than any of the people we know. And I know that I'm fine. But if you're going to try and turn this around on me than go ahead. But THIS has nothing to do with ME.
I know I've relapsed. I know that I promised, myself and everyone else, that just because I started smoking green again, did not mean I was going to do any of the other fucked up shit I did. I've gone back to the way I was and I'm pathetic, I know. I was an idiot then and I'm and idiot now. And I couldn't care less. Oh my god, if you could see me, even on a good day, you would be sceared shitless to even get close to it. It's just not worth it.
I understand why you tryed it. Everyone deserves to feel that way at least once in their lifetime. To feel the spin, the rush from the chemicals. To feel like nothing in the entire universe could ever hurt you, to actually feel invincable. But there are other highs you can get that from, natural highs.
Everyone wants to know why I've changed, why I've pulled away, and a part of it because of tweak. But you want to end up like me, then go ahead. I'm an inch away from mom throwing my ass in rehab and I've basically lost everyone I've ever cared about. So please, go ahead and follow in my footsteps.
-sigh-