Uncontrollably happy in the [kill me] kindof way
Last night I did dream. A dream; no so horrific as those that usually attend my unconscious mind in Night’s long solitary hours, but nevertheless, it was sad. Something of a fragment enough to make any being of bright eyes and heart to shed a single, lingering tear to fall as many as by tiny rivers.
A bird; a fair and beautiful sparrow, as I watched at a close distance, changed into a tiny kitten. This creature was truly unlike any other…so tiny that my own two small hands could engulf this delicate little thing with but a little room left for it to move, but just. As it lay on it’s back in my two hands cupped together, the creature looked up at me. Those green little eyes, so wide, so fragile…blinking up at me…trusting me…was unlike anything I had ever felt in my whole life.
Every detail; fixed in my mind, forever. The gray and black tabby pattern of the soft fur, so sweet and innocent that only an infant could posses, even if not for long. I can still hear the kitten purring, happily and sleepily, before it yawned and turned over to rest. For once in my forsaken life, I felt with purpose: I’d protect this frail creature with everything I had…to give it all my love and heart, my complete devotion…. and I was more than happy to do so.
Still dreaming, I placed the kitten on my pillow beside my head, fell asleep to the soft harmonic purring…and for a time in my ‘life’, I felt happy.
Dreaming still, I awoke to find no kitten on the pillow in the place I left it. Unworried, I searched. Through the garden, beneath the sofas, a desk, nearly everywhere my eyes could reach. Finding no trace of the little darling, I gave in, thinking that it was just off somewhere about the premises just being what it was, an infant kitten.
Later hearing, from a voice, belonging to whom of I know not, I heard that the kitten had been trooping about in one of my clothes bags, playing. To listen to this voice further, I heard that someone had been sewing the bag, not knowing that the innocent little creature it held. The little one had been lying right against the side of the bag, for whilest the bag was being sewn, the kitten had been impaled. Naturally, this killed it…being so tiny that so much as even a noise too loud could fail its heart.
I heard screaming. It filled the room, it filled the house. So loud, so angered, so full of loss and tears that died down to half-breath sobs. Pools of bloody tears strewn about the cold green marble floor. Then the collapse of a body as it fell to the floor in weeping, still. Somehow, it seemed that the body, though not dead, would never rise again, nor show face.
I woke with the screaming still ringing in my ears. The cool night air flowing past the white flowing curtains pinched my face and hot breath as I struggled to make the ringing in my ears pass. An hour later, it stopped as suddenly as it had come. I lay there, wondering who it was that was screaming so.
I then realized, it was me. My loving heart lost in the dark for a little creature that I knew scarcely longer than two hours, that was so dear in my broken eyes. I’ve christened the creature with name…’Glas smaragaide‘; Gaelic for ‘emerald green’…for those beautiful little green eyes that I’ll
never
see
again…
The END
A bird; a fair and beautiful sparrow, as I watched at a close distance, changed into a tiny kitten. This creature was truly unlike any other…so tiny that my own two small hands could engulf this delicate little thing with but a little room left for it to move, but just. As it lay on it’s back in my two hands cupped together, the creature looked up at me. Those green little eyes, so wide, so fragile…blinking up at me…trusting me…was unlike anything I had ever felt in my whole life.
Every detail; fixed in my mind, forever. The gray and black tabby pattern of the soft fur, so sweet and innocent that only an infant could posses, even if not for long. I can still hear the kitten purring, happily and sleepily, before it yawned and turned over to rest. For once in my forsaken life, I felt with purpose: I’d protect this frail creature with everything I had…to give it all my love and heart, my complete devotion…. and I was more than happy to do so.
Still dreaming, I placed the kitten on my pillow beside my head, fell asleep to the soft harmonic purring…and for a time in my ‘life’, I felt happy.
Dreaming still, I awoke to find no kitten on the pillow in the place I left it. Unworried, I searched. Through the garden, beneath the sofas, a desk, nearly everywhere my eyes could reach. Finding no trace of the little darling, I gave in, thinking that it was just off somewhere about the premises just being what it was, an infant kitten.
Later hearing, from a voice, belonging to whom of I know not, I heard that the kitten had been trooping about in one of my clothes bags, playing. To listen to this voice further, I heard that someone had been sewing the bag, not knowing that the innocent little creature it held. The little one had been lying right against the side of the bag, for whilest the bag was being sewn, the kitten had been impaled. Naturally, this killed it…being so tiny that so much as even a noise too loud could fail its heart.
I heard screaming. It filled the room, it filled the house. So loud, so angered, so full of loss and tears that died down to half-breath sobs. Pools of bloody tears strewn about the cold green marble floor. Then the collapse of a body as it fell to the floor in weeping, still. Somehow, it seemed that the body, though not dead, would never rise again, nor show face.
I woke with the screaming still ringing in my ears. The cool night air flowing past the white flowing curtains pinched my face and hot breath as I struggled to make the ringing in my ears pass. An hour later, it stopped as suddenly as it had come. I lay there, wondering who it was that was screaming so.
I then realized, it was me. My loving heart lost in the dark for a little creature that I knew scarcely longer than two hours, that was so dear in my broken eyes. I’ve christened the creature with name…’Glas smaragaide‘; Gaelic for ‘emerald green’…for those beautiful little green eyes that I’ll
never
see
again…
The END