(no subject)
god. i find it so irritating when my parents call me their baby. when my grandma, my uncle, my grandpa...
oh well. wheres the safety in growing up? do i say, WELL FUCK YOU AND WATCH ME! am i patient with them? do i giggle along with them and blush and feel special when inside its making me EXTREMELY uncomfortable? well i choose neither. its hard always having to figure out a safe and clear boundary. the right kind of ink to draw the line with. where to draw the line. from point A to point B. i dress like a little kid. i swear. today i was using the cutest skirt, with this sort of torn up shaggy sexy looking black and white tank top... absolutely adorable. then dirty sneakers. annnddd im off.
funny, my grandma looks at me up and down and cooooss. coo. coo. aww. beauty. aww. then she sees my sneakers and you can almost hear her GASP. hahah. she says, well... you look nice. turns and heads for the door tripping over unseen objects. in the car she asks me if she can buy me some high heels, IM SORRY BUT HIGH HEELS?? NOO FUCKING WAY. i want to slap her for even thinking this. god. this is one of the reasons why my dad moved up to oregon. he claims. "its to get AWAY from that woman. im sorry. but in all honesty, if things went her way, you'd be a barbie doll honey. literatly." well, i believe him.
high heels.
whew.
yesterday danny and i had a good talk. finally. fucking finally. he sees what im saying. basically hes a little baby. and well i think this will be the turning point for us. i hope it will. anyway, if things improve in our relationship, then i need friends. then i need .. some kind of life. hahah. then i'd be perfect. i tell ya. perfect.
a check list for the friends i want:
1: funny.
2: witty.
3: honest.
4: emotional.
5: sincere.
6: driven.
7: opinionated. (but dont argue with me. i swear i will hate you the minute you argue with me.)
just a circle of aweseome true people.
so if your out there and your reading this, and all this applies to you, please leave a comment. i will love you forever. promise.
<3
oh well. wheres the safety in growing up? do i say, WELL FUCK YOU AND WATCH ME! am i patient with them? do i giggle along with them and blush and feel special when inside its making me EXTREMELY uncomfortable? well i choose neither. its hard always having to figure out a safe and clear boundary. the right kind of ink to draw the line with. where to draw the line. from point A to point B. i dress like a little kid. i swear. today i was using the cutest skirt, with this sort of torn up shaggy sexy looking black and white tank top... absolutely adorable. then dirty sneakers. annnddd im off.
funny, my grandma looks at me up and down and cooooss. coo. coo. aww. beauty. aww. then she sees my sneakers and you can almost hear her GASP. hahah. she says, well... you look nice. turns and heads for the door tripping over unseen objects. in the car she asks me if she can buy me some high heels, IM SORRY BUT HIGH HEELS?? NOO FUCKING WAY. i want to slap her for even thinking this. god. this is one of the reasons why my dad moved up to oregon. he claims. "its to get AWAY from that woman. im sorry. but in all honesty, if things went her way, you'd be a barbie doll honey. literatly." well, i believe him.
high heels.
whew.
yesterday danny and i had a good talk. finally. fucking finally. he sees what im saying. basically hes a little baby. and well i think this will be the turning point for us. i hope it will. anyway, if things improve in our relationship, then i need friends. then i need .. some kind of life. hahah. then i'd be perfect. i tell ya. perfect.
a check list for the friends i want:
1: funny.
2: witty.
3: honest.
4: emotional.
5: sincere.
6: driven.
7: opinionated. (but dont argue with me. i swear i will hate you the minute you argue with me.)
just a circle of aweseome true people.
so if your out there and your reading this, and all this applies to you, please leave a comment. i will love you forever. promise.
<3