a fabulous poem, my good man. not only is it rich and full of sorrow and pained emotion, but it's a work of art, worthy of scholarly praise.
you draw on several themes, like timelessness, in your expression of stars, million years, dreams, sea, and the highway, which stretches on endlessly. and then you link in avenue as a metaphor, I imagine, to represent a self-flagelant pathway to soften your love's pain.
and you illustrate quite effortlessly that your beau is undergoing some sort of anguish, in the rain, at night, tears on her face, looking at the stars in a moment of deep reflection
you also reflect a tenacity to show your love and make your love's life better. as if you have something to prove, like you're an underdog, "you ain't seen nothing like me yet"
the rhyme scheme here also does a little dance for us. consider:
your first two stanzas adhere to AAAB, but then switch to ABAB in the third, only to return to AAAB in the fourth. Then ABAB in the fifth, and back again to AAAB in the last. shall I consider this to be a unintentional? or is the structure of the poem itself a part of the message too, switching between rhyme schemes, fickle, like young love often is.
but, then again, observe how the AAAB stanzas deal with the means the poet is willing to go thru to appeal to the object of his affections. The ABAB paragraphs reflect doubt and regret, shining light on the possibility that these feelings of love may be one-sided. it's possible despite all these lovely (forgive the pun) encantations, the poet's beau may not feel the same way.
Re: capital1crazyitalianJanuary 24 2005, 20:44:03 UTC
Country is sneaky like that, when you think it's all the same boringness, they throw you a curve and make a good song. I was surprised at Prom how many country songs I actually knew very well... There is alot out there, ya just gotta find them buried underneath the crap.
you draw on several themes, like timelessness, in your expression of stars, million years, dreams, sea, and the highway, which stretches on endlessly. and then you link in avenue as a metaphor, I imagine, to represent a self-flagelant pathway to soften your love's pain.
and you illustrate quite effortlessly that your beau is undergoing some sort of anguish, in the rain, at night, tears on her face, looking at the stars in a moment of deep reflection
you also reflect a tenacity to show your love and make your love's life better. as if you have something to prove, like you're an underdog, "you ain't seen nothing like me yet"
the rhyme scheme here also does a little dance for us. consider:
your first two stanzas adhere to AAAB, but then switch to ABAB in the third, only to return to AAAB in the fourth. Then ABAB in the fifth, and back again to AAAB in the last. shall I consider this to be a unintentional? or is the structure of the poem itself a part of the message too, switching between rhyme schemes, fickle, like young love often is.
but, then again, observe how the AAAB stanzas deal with the means the poet is willing to go thru to appeal to the object of his affections. The ABAB paragraphs reflect doubt and regret, shining light on the possibility that these feelings of love may be one-sided. it's possible despite all these lovely (forgive the pun) encantations, the poet's beau may not feel the same way.
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