god save this gun slinging generation
i feel ridiculously melancholy
and indescribably so
don't get me wrong i am still doing very well...very happy
but this wave of.... blah just rushed over me and i feel as though nothing could change it
i just read something incredibly profound
i wish i could post it all right here...but its not my place to do that
its something a friend of mine posted
and it was brutally honest from the core of her heart
and it was without a doubt the most sincere thing ive ever read
i don't care who reads this somethings just need to be said
i hate not seeing my friends
even more so...i hate doing absolutely nothing to change it
i hate avoiding people i know for the sake of letting them know i don't need them
or that im better off without them
i hate that im constantly trying to prove myself
i hate waiting for the phone to ring
and i hate being disappointed when it does
i hate broken promises.....especially when im the one who makes them
i hate having to accept that some people will never care
i hate waiting for what will never happen
i hate expecting things i know will never come
and being hurt beyond words when they don't
i hate caring too much about little things
i hate wanting so badly to say something to people,
but the thought of hurting them chokes the words in your throat
i hate that i shut down when im angry... that i want to scream at the top of my lungs, but for some reason i can't even open my mouth
i hate crying for no reason, and wishing i knew why
i hate caring so much about people...but doing nothing to help
i hate doing the right thing for the wrong reasons
i hate making myself out to be such the martyr...when im not in the least bit
i hate doing things, expecting somethin in return
i hate thinking im so independent when im really not
i hate that i won't let good things happen for me
i hate not being able to say what i want...no matter how hard i try
i love feeling so overwhelmed with emotion that i can't think and i can't speak
and all i can do is hold on
i love waking up every morning knowing theres at least 1 person who loves me unconditionally
i love when i can be completely myself, with out reservations
i love america's funniest home videos marathons
i love that every word out of my mouth is honest when im with you
and i love that even though i was depressed through most of this...the second i even start writing about you im happy again
and indescribably so
don't get me wrong i am still doing very well...very happy
but this wave of.... blah just rushed over me and i feel as though nothing could change it
i just read something incredibly profound
i wish i could post it all right here...but its not my place to do that
its something a friend of mine posted
and it was brutally honest from the core of her heart
and it was without a doubt the most sincere thing ive ever read
i don't care who reads this somethings just need to be said
i hate not seeing my friends
even more so...i hate doing absolutely nothing to change it
i hate avoiding people i know for the sake of letting them know i don't need them
or that im better off without them
i hate that im constantly trying to prove myself
i hate waiting for the phone to ring
and i hate being disappointed when it does
i hate broken promises.....especially when im the one who makes them
i hate having to accept that some people will never care
i hate waiting for what will never happen
i hate expecting things i know will never come
and being hurt beyond words when they don't
i hate caring too much about little things
i hate wanting so badly to say something to people,
but the thought of hurting them chokes the words in your throat
i hate that i shut down when im angry... that i want to scream at the top of my lungs, but for some reason i can't even open my mouth
i hate crying for no reason, and wishing i knew why
i hate caring so much about people...but doing nothing to help
i hate doing the right thing for the wrong reasons
i hate making myself out to be such the martyr...when im not in the least bit
i hate doing things, expecting somethin in return
i hate thinking im so independent when im really not
i hate that i won't let good things happen for me
i hate not being able to say what i want...no matter how hard i try
i love feeling so overwhelmed with emotion that i can't think and i can't speak
and all i can do is hold on
i love waking up every morning knowing theres at least 1 person who loves me unconditionally
i love when i can be completely myself, with out reservations
i love america's funniest home videos marathons
i love that every word out of my mouth is honest when im with you
and i love that even though i was depressed through most of this...the second i even start writing about you im happy again