(no subject)

[thegetupkiddies]

I woke up this morning after having dreams about my friends killing me. Do I think so lowly of myself that even I think I am worth of death? I dont know where I keep getting off track, but its time to get ahold of myself. I look at myself in the mirror and consdier myself a living disappiontment, because I have no goals. I currently have estabalished within myself that I am weak, I am not me. The inner strength I once had has diminished, and I am nothing but flesh and blood. My heart is weak, I have lost the apperciation for life. I need a new gameplan. Tomorrow, Im going to wake up and I dont know whats going to happen. As for what has happened, I am repenting. I want a promise of a good tomorrow, the positive of love on my other hand. No one wants me how I am now, depressed, lonely, struggling to kill the evil within me. I am such a waste. I pity myself, and nightly I feel guilty of what has happened over the past half year. My life seems to never lack challenges and it seems I can not keep a consistent basis in beating them. Must I remove myself from this world? Not literally. Death is the escape of a coward, even though I feel such a thing is fitting. I am a coward, lost within my own morals and decisions. I am in a bind. It seems like I enjoy giving myself these problems, even though they just tear me down and I feel worse and worse.

One step at a time, slowly but surely, the tortise always wins the race.

:(