[Summer; Hunting] ■■■■■■■
Title: ■■■■■■■
Author: bluedreaming
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: exo, shinee, infinite, red velvet, bangtan boys (bts)
Pairing(s)/Focus: Sehun-centred, Lay/Sehun
Length: 3,537 words
Summary: Only bad people live to see their likeness set in stone.-■■■■■
Warnings: Please see additional warnings inline. [warnings]hunting, graphic descriptions and disturbing, nightmares/night terrors, vomiting, injury, blood, major character death occurring before the narrative begins, implied major character death, the injury of animals, the killing of an animal due to fatal injury, depression, guns (sharps), one character shooting another character, the video included at the end of the story as an epilogue has its own warnings listed inline. This story does not contain smut.
Notes: poster. Thanks so much to the mods for their understanding and for allowing me to write this story. Thanks to Adele for always pulling me through everything, to Kangaroo for keeping me safe in your pouch when I need it, to ren for all the discussions about topics that might not normally come up in fanfiction. Thank you also to Reeza and Lonio for so many little things. I'm not a hunting expert by any stretch of the imagination, and seeing as this is also a space au, any errors are mine and mine alone, or products of a different planet. You pick who or what to blame!
The title is will be revealed throughout the duration of the story. The cut text is from ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ by ■■■■■.
The terms horse, foxes and hound are used for organizational purposes; the creatures mentioned in the following story are not horses, foxes and hounds in the Earth sense.
I thought I could organize freedom
How ■■■■■■■■■■■■ of me
■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■, ■■■■'■ ■■■?
You could smell it
So you left me on my own
To complete the mission
Now I'm leaving it all behind
I'm going hunting
I'm the hunter
-■■■■■
It's quiet when Sehun steps off the ground to space shuttle. Three-quarter local time, 21:00 hours in the colloquial. There's a slight haze over the forest, but nothing can compare to the thick smog settling in over the lights of the city, their twinkling stars almost extinguished; descending the lift to the lower levels closer to the ground, Sehun tries to focus on his hands, fingers smooth against the cold glass. In the square outside, there's a statue, his father's face immortalized in stone.
HAECARRO 0020 hours (Solymus standard) -- The only son of the 雪豹突击队 head was an unfortunate casualty in a routine military training activity. He is survived by his parents. Following the results of a procedural investigation, no autopsy was performed and the body has been summarily cremated.
The news brief keeps running through his head. The words are dry, like sandpaper, like the pads of Zitao's fingers running up and down his back as they said goodbye.
"I'll be back," he'd whispered, warm air ghosting over Sehun's ear as his father looked on in patent disapproval, foot rapping an impatient tattoo against the aluminium of the floor tiles.
Then it had just been the brush of fabric through the fingers of Sehun's outstretched hand as Zitao disappeared through the sliding doors, the sad sigh and last trickle of wind as they slid shut.
"You lied," Sehun shapes with his mouth, pale face reflected in the glass of the lift against the darkness of home. He knows it's not Zitao's fault, but the dust in the box hanging from his neck will never say anything else. His lips are moving, but the air flowing out between his teeth is silent.
■■■■■■■
There's a message on his screen when he gets back to his dorm room; there's always a message, but this one isn't from his father.
"It's unprofessional to call me father when you'll be succeeding my position." He nodded, small hands knotting in his jacket. "Yes fa-Chancellor." He looked up, but his father wasn't even facing his direction anymore, attention already on a familiar face at the other end of the room.
Sehun shrugs out of his jacket, leaves it lying on the ground where the fabric will crumple under his feet when he stumbles out of bed in the middle of the night to vomit into the toilet; his dreams are red red red pounding behind his eyes and there's no one to call.
The message is still waiting on the screen.
Hunting at half to the second quarter. Are you on?
His fingers are still trembling and his mouth tastes vile as he types a response.
See you.
He's barely lifted his fingers from the keys when a response flashes into sight, bright in the dimness of the room, faint pink from the hovering smog holding in the lights of the city. Here on Cuonia, you can only see the stars from the lift, if you're lucky enough to be able to afford interplanetary travel, or the forest, if you're lucky enough to have a pass.
For the Chancellor's son and his friends, there's no luck involved in life.
Why are you still awake? It must be Sooyoung. Sehun can picture her, glaring at the screen.
Goodnight. Sehun turns the screen off and crawls back into bed, between sheets that cool off so quickly if there's no one waiting to warm them.
The other bed in his dorm room is empty.
■■■■■■и
They meet up at the Sanatorium, the cracked glass and old stone an aging statement against the slick steel and polyglass of the skyscrapers that try, reaching higher and higher every year, but still can't break through the overlay of smog that blanks out the sky.
Sooyoung is wearing knee high boots and her hair is loose, floating around her head in the slight magnetic wind. The poles must be shifting again.
"You jerk," she says, instead of hello, but her fist against Sehun's shoulder is friendly. "You totally ignored my message." Taemin rolls his eyes behind her, feigning nonchalance, but there's that lingering tautness in his shoulders.
"When are you heading out?" Sehun asks, instead of hello. Taemin shrugs.
"Next cycle," Sungjong says, from where he's perched up on the sill, fingers skimming the broken glass littering the cement.
"Shup up," Taemin retorts, smiling, but his lips are too thin. Behind him, Sehun can see a shock of brown hair-I don't know you, he thinks, fingers creeping up to the small box on a chain hanging around his neck. A boy steps into view.
"That's Jeongguk," Sooyoung says, flipping her hair and shifting her weight so that the other leather-clad hip pops out. "He's good with the field hunters." Jeongguk smiles, a bright expression in the grey. It's startling, out of place. Sehun blinks. We're so easy to replace.
"Hi," he says, stepping back as Sungjong hops down onto the ground, scattering shards of glass everywhere. They fall into step behind him, the master of the foxhounds. Sehun rolls the word over in his mind as they head to the wall, only a few blocks away.
It's a strange world, here with his friends. and oh so fragile-the box hanging around his neck sways as he walks, hitting his sternum and leaving a dull ache behind.
■■■■■ти
You need a card to get past the wall. Sometimes Sehun can feel the eyes on his back, people who don't have cards staring as they take turns, tapping the flimsy pieces of plastic against the plate as the light turns turn with a muted beep. Such a small insignificant thing that means so much.
Once he watched a man try to get out of the gate, tapping a forged card as the light flashed red and a claxon clanged out through the dusk. There was the whirring sound of a hoverporter approaching, and Sehun lost his nerve, slipping home in the dark only to have Zitao laugh at him for being scared.
He still thinks about that, about the man's expression, every time he exits the wall and leaves the grey of the city behind.
Jeongguk is really good with field hunters, the horses they ride for the hunt. It's strange having him, like a new boot, not yet worn in, the leather rubbing, but he's a good fit. It's Taemin and Sooyoung who are off, but that's to be expected. Anyway, it's good to be back on his horse, 黃 because of his golden coat. Sungjong, the master of the foxhounds, has them all waiting in the holding pen, their purple and green fur shining in the dapples of golden light. It's a different world, on the other side of the wall.
Sungjong casts the hounds into an old familiar covert, a bushy place, smaller trees thick on the ground just around a rough outcropping, the wall thankfully hidden from view. Sehun just breathes, silent on 黃, as Sooyoung and Taemin vie for the front spot like they always do, but they're more barbed this year, their smiles thinner, the way Sooyoung has her sharp slung a little too close to her wrist, the way Taemin's arm brushes against the sharp strapped onto the saddle.
When the fox goes to ground, Sooyoung and Taemin are bickering.
"You need to suck it up and tell your dad you don't want to fucking be the next Lord Protector," Sooyoung says, frowning at the way the hounds have congregated around a hole, on of the many network of warrens that cut through the ground beneath their feet.
Taemin just rolls his eyes, angles his head on his neck. "Coming from the one who still hasn't told her mom she doesn't want to get married to the new money nobody from the outer fringes just to merger the family intergalactic shipping monopoly, I think your advice smells rotten. Joy." He spits out the nickname she hates, before sticking out his tongue, swinging around on his horse over the chorus of barks. Joy doesn't answer, she just pulls out her sharp and shoots a green laser beam at Taemin's left shin.
Sungjong calls the hounds off to the sound of Taemin shouting. "Are we good for another go?" he asks Jeongguk, who frowns, shaking his head.
"The ground is a little soft from the rain, so I think we should call it a day." He grins, face pleasant, and Sehun wonders what he's hiding under the surface.
■■■■сти
Sehun wakes up in the dark again, hounds barking in the shadows of his mind. He can see their teeth in his head, sharp rows of serrated razors, tearing flesh from bone. When he wakes with a jolt, screaming himself hoarse, he tumbles out of bed in a tangle of sheets and shivers on the floor until he catches his breath.
His screen blinks white before fading into the darkness, blinks white again. There are always messages waiting, as he scrolls past the ones from his father without reading them.
If you want me, come and find me. You know where I am.
You coming out tomorrow?
Sungjong is more reserved; Sehun remembers how he used to be when they were younger. How we all were.
The barking of hounds echoes in his ear, as the faintest tinge of orange begins to taint the rim of the overcast sky.
I'll be there.
黃 is uneasy today, shying away at the thick fleshy leaves of the iatany trees that cover the hills east of the city. The wind is cold, whistling down his neck.
"Are you alright?" Jeongguk asks, and Sehun doesn't answer for a moment, until he realizes that Jeongguk is talking to him and not the horse. Just then the foxhounds start baying loudly, and Taemin shouts as Sooyoung edges her horse, 红, in front of him, hot on Sungjong's heels.
"Let up," Sungjong warns her, but Sooyoung is on edge these days, her fingers wearing the tassels on 红's saddle to crimson shreds.
"The hell I-" her retort is cut short when 红 sinks down abruptly, screaming as he twists an ankle and folds down onto the ground as Sooyoung leaps off. Sungjong calls the hounds off, and they lose the fox, Taemin doing everything except look at Sooyoung as Jeongguk fusses around the horse.
"His ankle isn't broken," he finally says, and Sehun watches as Sooyoung rests her forehead in the soft feathers of 红's back.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, so softly that it's barely breath leaving her lungs.
They end up rigging up a kind of sling for the horse, who limps on three legs, side propped against Sooyoung's shoulder as they head back. Sehun can tell that Taemin is frustrated, it's the second day and they've only managed to run a fox to the ground, but he doesn't say anything.
Sooyoung's trigger finger is only too happy these days, and Sehun wonders how much time she has left.
■■■усти
Instead of the nightmares, Sehun tries just not going to bed. He has books he's been meaning to read for years, games he's wanted to play, and he might as well do it now.
He still hasn't checked the messages from his father, but there's a strange feeling in the city, walking a few blocks to the market to get a coffee; it feels like holding patterns.
We're all just living on borrowed time, he thinks, the acrid liquid burning his mouth, the familiar box bumping gently against his chest as he takes the steps instead of the elevator.
The coffee takes the edge off, but at three in the morning the silence is so think it feels like he's choking, his body cold, fingertips frozen as though to tell him, you should be sleeping. Staring into the lamp, letting his eyelids flutter shut for a moment, all Sehun can see is red.
He wakes up screaming again,blood in his mouth and when he looks in the mirror, his bottom lip is worried raw.
See you? Taemin isn't one to mince words, and his message is short and to the point. Sehun doesn't bother answering, just shows up, eyes still crusty with sleep.
"You look like shit," Sooyoung says, her hair floating in a corona around her face. She's lovely, even when she's about five seconds from stringing Taemin up on a tree by his ankles. Since her horse is out of commission until tomorrow when the swelling has gone down, even though horses are quick heals, she's sharing a mount with Taemin, and Sehun's pretty sure that one of them is going to end up dead before they even manage to flush a fox, unless Sungjong shoots both of them first.
"I slept," Sehun shrugs, and guides his horse past Jeongguk, who's the only one who looks like he's having a good time.
"I haven't been outside for this many days in a row ever," he says, grinning, and there's a twinge in Sehun's chest, as he remembers someone else saying the exact same thing.
"I'm glad you're having fun," he says instead.
The hounds run another fox to ground, and Sooyoung jumps right off the horse while it's cantering down, stomping over the fallen leaves that squash under her feet, spraying her legs with drops of vermillion sap.
"I'm going to build a trap and get you," Taemin mutters under his breath, but no listens.
■■пусти
Sehun doesn't bother not sleeping. It doesn't make any difference anyway. And, now that he's accepted it, there's a kind of catharsis in the hoarseness of his throat, the way his breath catches as he swallows.
Hi Sehun! I hope you slept better today! Are you coming out? Sooyoung's horse will be better by now. Jeongguk's message makes him smile, as his lip cracks. The air is damp in the city but it's too dry in his room, as Sehun's eyes skip over the messages from his father, a scrolling line that he sends to trash with the flick of a finger on the keyboard.
I slept a little longer. Thanks for asking. I'll be there.
The leaves are shadowy over his face, the sun brighter, the dapples more fleeting as the canopy over their heads sways with the wind. 黃's back is warm under his legs, his soft feathers warm against the skin of his ankles, as the fabric of his pants pulls up with the horse's gait.
They flush a hound, Sungjong smiling at the hounds as they follow, Taemin pumping his arm and Sooyoung riding with a determined expression on her face. Sehun feels. . .distant. It feels like this is the end, somehow, the end of their youth, the end of their time together. Zitao just checked out a little earlier than the rest of them, that's all.
"Are you alright?" Jeongguk asks, reigning in slightly as he turns on his mount to look at Sehun worriedly.
"I'm a little tired," Sehun says, and then the words are leaving his mouth all of a sudden, a rush of words that only cover up what he actually wants to say. "I think I'm going to head home."
"Okay, but be safe," Jeongguk says, waving, as Sehun reigns in, turning them back towards the city.
Keep your smile forever, is what he doesn't tell Jeongguk, because he knows it's impossible. The box around his neck both feels like the heaviest weight he can bear, and doesn't weigh anything at all.
There's no warning. One moment they're short-tracking back through the copse, the next moment the ground gives way beneath them and they've fallen; Sehun doesn't even have time to feel anything more than a kind of evanescent regret before he lands, his ankle crunching ominously. And then 黃 starts screaming, and Sehun, blinking, can see that his long delicate neck is at an terrible angle, pink foam coming from his mouth.
Training takes over, his mind a numb fog as the pain in his leg recedes into the shadowy wings of his mind and he pulls out his sharp.
"I don't know why we have to carry sharps anyway," he'd said, frowning as he and Zitao saddled up. "You never know when you might need it," Zitao had said, elbowing him lightly in the arm, and they'd ended up roughhousing in the stables and Sungjong had yelled at them and everything had been perfect.
Sehun lines the barrel of the sharp up directly between 黃's lavender eyes, watery with pain, and pressed his mouth in a silent kiss to ridge over his eye before he leans back and pulls the trigger.
黃's body goes limp, sinking into the ground as the last of the air leaves his eyes, and Sehun would cry but he can't find any tears.
There's silence, and then a short cough.
Sehun snaps his head around, staring into the shadows as the pain in his ankle roars back into the forefront and he moans slightly, biting his tongue.
"Are you okay?" a voice asks. It's soft, and sounds a little like the wind slipping between the fleshy leaves of the iatany trees.
"Who are you?" Sehun breathes, as first faintly glowing eyes, then a face swim into view. His sharp is lying on the ground by 黃's head, and somehow he'd rather die than have to touch it.
"I'm Yixing," the stranger says, Yixing says, finally sliding into the light, and Sehun realizes, with a start, that Yixing is a fox.
Foxes look a lot like people, when they're not dead.
"I fell in this hole," Yixing says, "and I was just about to climb out again when you came along and fell in too." Sehun looks at Yixing, the translucent undertone of his skin, the way his hair is just slightly blue, curling softly around his ears.
He's beautiful, and Sehun imagines the hounds chasing him, weaving through the trees, bare feet running ragged over the rocks, a stumble and then teeth on his ankle, pulling him to the ground, teeth in his flesh tearing skin and muscles, snapping bones, until only pale tatters are left.
"I'll be back," Zitao had whispered, before he left.
Sehun feels sick, the nausea welling up so suddenly in his stomach, acid creeping up his esophagus, that his abdomen spasms, a hard kick of pain like a knee to the gut as he voids the contents of his stomach into the wet earth. It's only when he's blinking back tears from the force of the expulsion that he realizes there are warm arms holding him up, patting his back as he sinks down into the first embrace he's felt in far too long.
"I'm sorry," Sehun whispers into the soft skin of Yixing's chest, but Yixing only hums, rocking him slightly back and forth.
■тпусти
It's darker when Sehun blinks his eyes open again. The sun has shifted lower in the trees, no longer casting its light down the trap, and he remembers now what Taemin had said.
"I'm going to build a trap and get you.
It's late now, and the hunting party will be heading home soon. Sehun jolts up in Yixing's arms, eyes darting around wildly. He can hear the hounds baying in his head, spilling out from his dreams, and he's no longer sure if he can tell the dream and real apart.
"We need to get out of here!" he says, ignoring the throbbing in his ankle, and Yixing only nods, pushing him up out of the whole and springing up after him.
"Why did you stay with me?" Sehun asks, trying to get his bearings, but his thoughts are all tangled.
"Because you're hurt," Yixing says simply, before adding, "the bad place is that way, if you're looking for it?" Sehun winces at the way he terms the city the bad place, not because it hurts but because it's true.
And then the barking in his head, the almost shrill way the hounds howl, a coarse bubbling that echoes up from the depths of their scaley throats, erupts into the air around them and there's no time left.
"Run!" Sehun shouts, taking Yixing by the hand, setting off in the direction he'd pointed.
It's no use though; after only a short stretch his leg has exploded with pain, and leaning on Yixing they're too slow to make it. The hounds are fast, relentless when they flush a fox, and Sehun feels what it's like to be on the opposite side for the first time.
"Stop," he tells Yixing, who widens his eyes in surprise, eyes skittering as the hounds draw closer, but he stops. Sehun quickly tears off his jacket, tugging it onto Yixing and handing him the card from his pocket.
"This is a key for the wall," he says, and Yixing eyes widen in understanding. He's opening his mouth to say something but the hounds are too close, flickering shapes through the trees, and there's no time. "Go!" He pushes Yixing off into the trees, ears straining for Taemin or Sooyoung but Sungjong must have let the hounds cast wide; he can't even hear the sound of the field hunters galloping through the underbrush. When Yixing has faded into the trees, Sehun turns around and waits for the hounds to come into view.
The box is still hanging around his neck, and it feels exactly right.
Отпусти
[please read warnings]wolves, blood, medium gore, implied major character death, disturbing imagery, stylistic nudity, possible religious themes
release me
■■■ ■■■■■■■
And that's the end of the story about ■■■■■ and ■■■ ■■■■■■.
Of course all this happened a long time ago and nothing like that could ever happen again.
Not in this day and age.
-■■■ ■■■ ■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■
Afterword: The video that completes this story is Max Barskih's Отпусти.
In the story, Zitao's father is the head of the 雪豹突击队, which is directly inspired by the Snow Leopard Commando Unit.
Sehun's horse is named 黃, yellow. Sooyoung's horse is 红,red.
Author: bluedreaming
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: exo, shinee, infinite, red velvet, bangtan boys (bts)
Pairing(s)/Focus: Sehun-centred, Lay/Sehun
Length: 3,537 words
Summary: Only bad people live to see their likeness set in stone.-■■■■■
Warnings: Please see additional warnings inline. [warnings]hunting, graphic descriptions and disturbing, nightmares/night terrors, vomiting, injury, blood, major character death occurring before the narrative begins, implied major character death, the injury of animals, the killing of an animal due to fatal injury, depression, guns (sharps), one character shooting another character, the video included at the end of the story as an epilogue has its own warnings listed inline. This story does not contain smut.
Notes: poster. Thanks so much to the mods for their understanding and for allowing me to write this story. Thanks to Adele for always pulling me through everything, to Kangaroo for keeping me safe in your pouch when I need it, to ren for all the discussions about topics that might not normally come up in fanfiction. Thank you also to Reeza and Lonio for so many little things. I'm not a hunting expert by any stretch of the imagination, and seeing as this is also a space au, any errors are mine and mine alone, or products of a different planet. You pick who or what to blame!
The title is will be revealed throughout the duration of the story. The cut text is from ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ by ■■■■■.
The terms horse, foxes and hound are used for organizational purposes; the creatures mentioned in the following story are not horses, foxes and hounds in the Earth sense.
I thought I could organize freedom
How ■■■■■■■■■■■■ of me
■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■, ■■■■'■ ■■■?
You could smell it
So you left me on my own
To complete the mission
Now I'm leaving it all behind
I'm going hunting
I'm the hunter
-■■■■■
It's quiet when Sehun steps off the ground to space shuttle. Three-quarter local time, 21:00 hours in the colloquial. There's a slight haze over the forest, but nothing can compare to the thick smog settling in over the lights of the city, their twinkling stars almost extinguished; descending the lift to the lower levels closer to the ground, Sehun tries to focus on his hands, fingers smooth against the cold glass. In the square outside, there's a statue, his father's face immortalized in stone.
HAECARRO 0020 hours (Solymus standard) -- The only son of the 雪豹突击队 head was an unfortunate casualty in a routine military training activity. He is survived by his parents. Following the results of a procedural investigation, no autopsy was performed and the body has been summarily cremated.
The news brief keeps running through his head. The words are dry, like sandpaper, like the pads of Zitao's fingers running up and down his back as they said goodbye.
"I'll be back," he'd whispered, warm air ghosting over Sehun's ear as his father looked on in patent disapproval, foot rapping an impatient tattoo against the aluminium of the floor tiles.
Then it had just been the brush of fabric through the fingers of Sehun's outstretched hand as Zitao disappeared through the sliding doors, the sad sigh and last trickle of wind as they slid shut.
"You lied," Sehun shapes with his mouth, pale face reflected in the glass of the lift against the darkness of home. He knows it's not Zitao's fault, but the dust in the box hanging from his neck will never say anything else. His lips are moving, but the air flowing out between his teeth is silent.
■■■■■■■
There's a message on his screen when he gets back to his dorm room; there's always a message, but this one isn't from his father.
"It's unprofessional to call me father when you'll be succeeding my position." He nodded, small hands knotting in his jacket. "Yes fa-Chancellor." He looked up, but his father wasn't even facing his direction anymore, attention already on a familiar face at the other end of the room.
Sehun shrugs out of his jacket, leaves it lying on the ground where the fabric will crumple under his feet when he stumbles out of bed in the middle of the night to vomit into the toilet; his dreams are red red red pounding behind his eyes and there's no one to call.
The message is still waiting on the screen.
Hunting at half to the second quarter. Are you on?
His fingers are still trembling and his mouth tastes vile as he types a response.
See you.
He's barely lifted his fingers from the keys when a response flashes into sight, bright in the dimness of the room, faint pink from the hovering smog holding in the lights of the city. Here on Cuonia, you can only see the stars from the lift, if you're lucky enough to be able to afford interplanetary travel, or the forest, if you're lucky enough to have a pass.
For the Chancellor's son and his friends, there's no luck involved in life.
Why are you still awake? It must be Sooyoung. Sehun can picture her, glaring at the screen.
Goodnight. Sehun turns the screen off and crawls back into bed, between sheets that cool off so quickly if there's no one waiting to warm them.
The other bed in his dorm room is empty.
■■■■■■и
They meet up at the Sanatorium, the cracked glass and old stone an aging statement against the slick steel and polyglass of the skyscrapers that try, reaching higher and higher every year, but still can't break through the overlay of smog that blanks out the sky.
Sooyoung is wearing knee high boots and her hair is loose, floating around her head in the slight magnetic wind. The poles must be shifting again.
"You jerk," she says, instead of hello, but her fist against Sehun's shoulder is friendly. "You totally ignored my message." Taemin rolls his eyes behind her, feigning nonchalance, but there's that lingering tautness in his shoulders.
"When are you heading out?" Sehun asks, instead of hello. Taemin shrugs.
"Next cycle," Sungjong says, from where he's perched up on the sill, fingers skimming the broken glass littering the cement.
"Shup up," Taemin retorts, smiling, but his lips are too thin. Behind him, Sehun can see a shock of brown hair-I don't know you, he thinks, fingers creeping up to the small box on a chain hanging around his neck. A boy steps into view.
"That's Jeongguk," Sooyoung says, flipping her hair and shifting her weight so that the other leather-clad hip pops out. "He's good with the field hunters." Jeongguk smiles, a bright expression in the grey. It's startling, out of place. Sehun blinks. We're so easy to replace.
"Hi," he says, stepping back as Sungjong hops down onto the ground, scattering shards of glass everywhere. They fall into step behind him, the master of the foxhounds. Sehun rolls the word over in his mind as they head to the wall, only a few blocks away.
It's a strange world, here with his friends. and oh so fragile-the box hanging around his neck sways as he walks, hitting his sternum and leaving a dull ache behind.
■■■■■ти
You need a card to get past the wall. Sometimes Sehun can feel the eyes on his back, people who don't have cards staring as they take turns, tapping the flimsy pieces of plastic against the plate as the light turns turn with a muted beep. Such a small insignificant thing that means so much.
Once he watched a man try to get out of the gate, tapping a forged card as the light flashed red and a claxon clanged out through the dusk. There was the whirring sound of a hoverporter approaching, and Sehun lost his nerve, slipping home in the dark only to have Zitao laugh at him for being scared.
He still thinks about that, about the man's expression, every time he exits the wall and leaves the grey of the city behind.
Jeongguk is really good with field hunters, the horses they ride for the hunt. It's strange having him, like a new boot, not yet worn in, the leather rubbing, but he's a good fit. It's Taemin and Sooyoung who are off, but that's to be expected. Anyway, it's good to be back on his horse, 黃 because of his golden coat. Sungjong, the master of the foxhounds, has them all waiting in the holding pen, their purple and green fur shining in the dapples of golden light. It's a different world, on the other side of the wall.
Sungjong casts the hounds into an old familiar covert, a bushy place, smaller trees thick on the ground just around a rough outcropping, the wall thankfully hidden from view. Sehun just breathes, silent on 黃, as Sooyoung and Taemin vie for the front spot like they always do, but they're more barbed this year, their smiles thinner, the way Sooyoung has her sharp slung a little too close to her wrist, the way Taemin's arm brushes against the sharp strapped onto the saddle.
When the fox goes to ground, Sooyoung and Taemin are bickering.
"You need to suck it up and tell your dad you don't want to fucking be the next Lord Protector," Sooyoung says, frowning at the way the hounds have congregated around a hole, on of the many network of warrens that cut through the ground beneath their feet.
Taemin just rolls his eyes, angles his head on his neck. "Coming from the one who still hasn't told her mom she doesn't want to get married to the new money nobody from the outer fringes just to merger the family intergalactic shipping monopoly, I think your advice smells rotten. Joy." He spits out the nickname she hates, before sticking out his tongue, swinging around on his horse over the chorus of barks. Joy doesn't answer, she just pulls out her sharp and shoots a green laser beam at Taemin's left shin.
Sungjong calls the hounds off to the sound of Taemin shouting. "Are we good for another go?" he asks Jeongguk, who frowns, shaking his head.
"The ground is a little soft from the rain, so I think we should call it a day." He grins, face pleasant, and Sehun wonders what he's hiding under the surface.
■■■■сти
Sehun wakes up in the dark again, hounds barking in the shadows of his mind. He can see their teeth in his head, sharp rows of serrated razors, tearing flesh from bone. When he wakes with a jolt, screaming himself hoarse, he tumbles out of bed in a tangle of sheets and shivers on the floor until he catches his breath.
His screen blinks white before fading into the darkness, blinks white again. There are always messages waiting, as he scrolls past the ones from his father without reading them.
If you want me, come and find me. You know where I am.
You coming out tomorrow?
Sungjong is more reserved; Sehun remembers how he used to be when they were younger. How we all were.
The barking of hounds echoes in his ear, as the faintest tinge of orange begins to taint the rim of the overcast sky.
I'll be there.
黃 is uneasy today, shying away at the thick fleshy leaves of the iatany trees that cover the hills east of the city. The wind is cold, whistling down his neck.
"Are you alright?" Jeongguk asks, and Sehun doesn't answer for a moment, until he realizes that Jeongguk is talking to him and not the horse. Just then the foxhounds start baying loudly, and Taemin shouts as Sooyoung edges her horse, 红, in front of him, hot on Sungjong's heels.
"Let up," Sungjong warns her, but Sooyoung is on edge these days, her fingers wearing the tassels on 红's saddle to crimson shreds.
"The hell I-" her retort is cut short when 红 sinks down abruptly, screaming as he twists an ankle and folds down onto the ground as Sooyoung leaps off. Sungjong calls the hounds off, and they lose the fox, Taemin doing everything except look at Sooyoung as Jeongguk fusses around the horse.
"His ankle isn't broken," he finally says, and Sehun watches as Sooyoung rests her forehead in the soft feathers of 红's back.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, so softly that it's barely breath leaving her lungs.
They end up rigging up a kind of sling for the horse, who limps on three legs, side propped against Sooyoung's shoulder as they head back. Sehun can tell that Taemin is frustrated, it's the second day and they've only managed to run a fox to the ground, but he doesn't say anything.
Sooyoung's trigger finger is only too happy these days, and Sehun wonders how much time she has left.
■■■усти
Instead of the nightmares, Sehun tries just not going to bed. He has books he's been meaning to read for years, games he's wanted to play, and he might as well do it now.
He still hasn't checked the messages from his father, but there's a strange feeling in the city, walking a few blocks to the market to get a coffee; it feels like holding patterns.
We're all just living on borrowed time, he thinks, the acrid liquid burning his mouth, the familiar box bumping gently against his chest as he takes the steps instead of the elevator.
The coffee takes the edge off, but at three in the morning the silence is so think it feels like he's choking, his body cold, fingertips frozen as though to tell him, you should be sleeping. Staring into the lamp, letting his eyelids flutter shut for a moment, all Sehun can see is red.
He wakes up screaming again,blood in his mouth and when he looks in the mirror, his bottom lip is worried raw.
See you? Taemin isn't one to mince words, and his message is short and to the point. Sehun doesn't bother answering, just shows up, eyes still crusty with sleep.
"You look like shit," Sooyoung says, her hair floating in a corona around her face. She's lovely, even when she's about five seconds from stringing Taemin up on a tree by his ankles. Since her horse is out of commission until tomorrow when the swelling has gone down, even though horses are quick heals, she's sharing a mount with Taemin, and Sehun's pretty sure that one of them is going to end up dead before they even manage to flush a fox, unless Sungjong shoots both of them first.
"I slept," Sehun shrugs, and guides his horse past Jeongguk, who's the only one who looks like he's having a good time.
"I haven't been outside for this many days in a row ever," he says, grinning, and there's a twinge in Sehun's chest, as he remembers someone else saying the exact same thing.
"I'm glad you're having fun," he says instead.
The hounds run another fox to ground, and Sooyoung jumps right off the horse while it's cantering down, stomping over the fallen leaves that squash under her feet, spraying her legs with drops of vermillion sap.
"I'm going to build a trap and get you," Taemin mutters under his breath, but no listens.
■■пусти
Sehun doesn't bother not sleeping. It doesn't make any difference anyway. And, now that he's accepted it, there's a kind of catharsis in the hoarseness of his throat, the way his breath catches as he swallows.
Hi Sehun! I hope you slept better today! Are you coming out? Sooyoung's horse will be better by now. Jeongguk's message makes him smile, as his lip cracks. The air is damp in the city but it's too dry in his room, as Sehun's eyes skip over the messages from his father, a scrolling line that he sends to trash with the flick of a finger on the keyboard.
I slept a little longer. Thanks for asking. I'll be there.
The leaves are shadowy over his face, the sun brighter, the dapples more fleeting as the canopy over their heads sways with the wind. 黃's back is warm under his legs, his soft feathers warm against the skin of his ankles, as the fabric of his pants pulls up with the horse's gait.
They flush a hound, Sungjong smiling at the hounds as they follow, Taemin pumping his arm and Sooyoung riding with a determined expression on her face. Sehun feels. . .distant. It feels like this is the end, somehow, the end of their youth, the end of their time together. Zitao just checked out a little earlier than the rest of them, that's all.
"Are you alright?" Jeongguk asks, reigning in slightly as he turns on his mount to look at Sehun worriedly.
"I'm a little tired," Sehun says, and then the words are leaving his mouth all of a sudden, a rush of words that only cover up what he actually wants to say. "I think I'm going to head home."
"Okay, but be safe," Jeongguk says, waving, as Sehun reigns in, turning them back towards the city.
Keep your smile forever, is what he doesn't tell Jeongguk, because he knows it's impossible. The box around his neck both feels like the heaviest weight he can bear, and doesn't weigh anything at all.
There's no warning. One moment they're short-tracking back through the copse, the next moment the ground gives way beneath them and they've fallen; Sehun doesn't even have time to feel anything more than a kind of evanescent regret before he lands, his ankle crunching ominously. And then 黃 starts screaming, and Sehun, blinking, can see that his long delicate neck is at an terrible angle, pink foam coming from his mouth.
Training takes over, his mind a numb fog as the pain in his leg recedes into the shadowy wings of his mind and he pulls out his sharp.
"I don't know why we have to carry sharps anyway," he'd said, frowning as he and Zitao saddled up. "You never know when you might need it," Zitao had said, elbowing him lightly in the arm, and they'd ended up roughhousing in the stables and Sungjong had yelled at them and everything had been perfect.
Sehun lines the barrel of the sharp up directly between 黃's lavender eyes, watery with pain, and pressed his mouth in a silent kiss to ridge over his eye before he leans back and pulls the trigger.
黃's body goes limp, sinking into the ground as the last of the air leaves his eyes, and Sehun would cry but he can't find any tears.
There's silence, and then a short cough.
Sehun snaps his head around, staring into the shadows as the pain in his ankle roars back into the forefront and he moans slightly, biting his tongue.
"Are you okay?" a voice asks. It's soft, and sounds a little like the wind slipping between the fleshy leaves of the iatany trees.
"Who are you?" Sehun breathes, as first faintly glowing eyes, then a face swim into view. His sharp is lying on the ground by 黃's head, and somehow he'd rather die than have to touch it.
"I'm Yixing," the stranger says, Yixing says, finally sliding into the light, and Sehun realizes, with a start, that Yixing is a fox.
Foxes look a lot like people, when they're not dead.
"I fell in this hole," Yixing says, "and I was just about to climb out again when you came along and fell in too." Sehun looks at Yixing, the translucent undertone of his skin, the way his hair is just slightly blue, curling softly around his ears.
He's beautiful, and Sehun imagines the hounds chasing him, weaving through the trees, bare feet running ragged over the rocks, a stumble and then teeth on his ankle, pulling him to the ground, teeth in his flesh tearing skin and muscles, snapping bones, until only pale tatters are left.
"I'll be back," Zitao had whispered, before he left.
Sehun feels sick, the nausea welling up so suddenly in his stomach, acid creeping up his esophagus, that his abdomen spasms, a hard kick of pain like a knee to the gut as he voids the contents of his stomach into the wet earth. It's only when he's blinking back tears from the force of the expulsion that he realizes there are warm arms holding him up, patting his back as he sinks down into the first embrace he's felt in far too long.
"I'm sorry," Sehun whispers into the soft skin of Yixing's chest, but Yixing only hums, rocking him slightly back and forth.
■тпусти
It's darker when Sehun blinks his eyes open again. The sun has shifted lower in the trees, no longer casting its light down the trap, and he remembers now what Taemin had said.
"I'm going to build a trap and get you.
It's late now, and the hunting party will be heading home soon. Sehun jolts up in Yixing's arms, eyes darting around wildly. He can hear the hounds baying in his head, spilling out from his dreams, and he's no longer sure if he can tell the dream and real apart.
"We need to get out of here!" he says, ignoring the throbbing in his ankle, and Yixing only nods, pushing him up out of the whole and springing up after him.
"Why did you stay with me?" Sehun asks, trying to get his bearings, but his thoughts are all tangled.
"Because you're hurt," Yixing says simply, before adding, "the bad place is that way, if you're looking for it?" Sehun winces at the way he terms the city the bad place, not because it hurts but because it's true.
And then the barking in his head, the almost shrill way the hounds howl, a coarse bubbling that echoes up from the depths of their scaley throats, erupts into the air around them and there's no time left.
"Run!" Sehun shouts, taking Yixing by the hand, setting off in the direction he'd pointed.
It's no use though; after only a short stretch his leg has exploded with pain, and leaning on Yixing they're too slow to make it. The hounds are fast, relentless when they flush a fox, and Sehun feels what it's like to be on the opposite side for the first time.
"Stop," he tells Yixing, who widens his eyes in surprise, eyes skittering as the hounds draw closer, but he stops. Sehun quickly tears off his jacket, tugging it onto Yixing and handing him the card from his pocket.
"This is a key for the wall," he says, and Yixing eyes widen in understanding. He's opening his mouth to say something but the hounds are too close, flickering shapes through the trees, and there's no time. "Go!" He pushes Yixing off into the trees, ears straining for Taemin or Sooyoung but Sungjong must have let the hounds cast wide; he can't even hear the sound of the field hunters galloping through the underbrush. When Yixing has faded into the trees, Sehun turns around and waits for the hounds to come into view.
The box is still hanging around his neck, and it feels exactly right.
Отпусти
[please read warnings]wolves, blood, medium gore, implied major character death, disturbing imagery, stylistic nudity, possible religious themes
release me
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And that's the end of the story about ■■■■■ and ■■■ ■■■■■■.
Of course all this happened a long time ago and nothing like that could ever happen again.
Not in this day and age.
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Afterword: The video that completes this story is Max Barskih's Отпусти.
In the story, Zitao's father is the head of the 雪豹突击队, which is directly inspired by the Snow Leopard Commando Unit.
Sehun's horse is named 黃, yellow. Sooyoung's horse is 红,red.