(no subject)
Well, life is weird. Not in a bad way, just in a way that it seems to keep going... and going..... and going. It makes me laugh a little. But not in a good way, in a way that is like- Damn this is kinda pathetic. hahaha But whatever.
I have to leave my house in about 11 minutes and here I sit, undressed, hair un-straightened/un-blowdried, makeup unapplied. hmm... it may be happening again. I did cry in the shower today. I would prefer that it doesn't happen right now. I't been such a good streak of happy! But I am blogging. So I fear that here it is. fuck.
haha oh well.
I don't remember when I last posted and what was going on at the time but me and Dan have gone out times 2 and we are now going to have a sunny in philly marathon -HERE AT MY HOUSE! I never thought I would see the day. He let me pay for half of dinner - he asked! wow. Do you think he's trying to make things a little different this time around? or do you think he's trying to be friends... Well he came up with the 3rd "date" idea and when he looks at me there is too much behind his eyes to just want to be friends. When he looks at me I choke on the thickness of the air between us. But Dan rarely does what he wants- he does what he thinks he should do. And if he thinks that it would benefit me for him not to love me, then he won't let on that he loves me. He is so perfect that it makes me kinda not believe he is real. I'm glad that he's the one I love. He is a really good choice. He is like a delicious sandwich. mmmm.
What else about life...
work is fun. way too busy lately. I wanted to die on tuesday - it was unsafe busy. but it makes for really funny mornings. We are just so tired and burnt out that we laugh so hard that we cry. The kind of laugh that you don't want people to see your face cause you look stupid.
Cruise is in 10 days. Yikes. Then after that I really need to work on finishing my high risk months. Haven't finished my modules yet cause I am a slacker. But I better hurry before this new wave of depression really sets in. If I am depressed on my cruise I will jump off the side of the boat. ugh. And become Aquatic Bessy. Mer-Bessy.
I have to leave my house in about 11 minutes and here I sit, undressed, hair un-straightened/un-blowdried, makeup unapplied. hmm... it may be happening again. I did cry in the shower today. I would prefer that it doesn't happen right now. I't been such a good streak of happy! But I am blogging. So I fear that here it is. fuck.
haha oh well.
I don't remember when I last posted and what was going on at the time but me and Dan have gone out times 2 and we are now going to have a sunny in philly marathon -HERE AT MY HOUSE! I never thought I would see the day. He let me pay for half of dinner - he asked! wow. Do you think he's trying to make things a little different this time around? or do you think he's trying to be friends... Well he came up with the 3rd "date" idea and when he looks at me there is too much behind his eyes to just want to be friends. When he looks at me I choke on the thickness of the air between us. But Dan rarely does what he wants- he does what he thinks he should do. And if he thinks that it would benefit me for him not to love me, then he won't let on that he loves me. He is so perfect that it makes me kinda not believe he is real. I'm glad that he's the one I love. He is a really good choice. He is like a delicious sandwich. mmmm.
What else about life...
work is fun. way too busy lately. I wanted to die on tuesday - it was unsafe busy. but it makes for really funny mornings. We are just so tired and burnt out that we laugh so hard that we cry. The kind of laugh that you don't want people to see your face cause you look stupid.
Cruise is in 10 days. Yikes. Then after that I really need to work on finishing my high risk months. Haven't finished my modules yet cause I am a slacker. But I better hurry before this new wave of depression really sets in. If I am depressed on my cruise I will jump off the side of the boat. ugh. And become Aquatic Bessy. Mer-Bessy.