Wow.

[thegamehunter01]

This weekend was a great weekend but also a bit humbling. I had a great time being in saginaw with my crew and all and getting a chance to meet and make new friends (Jon, Laura, Christy) you are all are cool in my book! Everything was going great.................until we got to the wedding reception. I met a girl there who I had seen at Famous Dave's (restaurant in Saginaw where my sis works) and I thought she was very attractive. My sis does her thing and convinces her to come to the reception. I am extremly excited and happy about this! I was probably up most of the night absolutely nervous like none other because truly, I am not good with the initial talking to women, not like using corny lines or trying to get them in bed or anything, but I think I am either too shy and not say anything at all or try to be too aggressive and scare them away. :/ I really wanted to get to know this lady better, she seemed like a real sweetheart and everything and at first, all was good, then something happened that I still feel like absolute shit for. We were dancing (first bad move) and i accidentally stepped on her foot hard. After that, it went downhill for me. She didn't want to be around me at all the rest of the night and I felt like the biggest jackass, deusch, idiot, or any other term you wanna throw in there around. I was so embarrassed to the point where I just had to leave and go to my hotel room. I felt bad for not saying good bye to everyone (to those I didn't, I do apologize), but there was a much softer side of me that I knew was going to come out and I refused to go out like that so I just left quietly. Everytime I looked at this girl the whole night I melted. She is absolutely beautiful. Fun. Has a smile that can light up a room like noneother, just amazing. In a way, I felt intimidated because im not really used to having the absolutely hot girl normally. I really do want to at least be friends with her, not that I wouldn't have asked for that in the first place. I didn't think of any plans that would lead to sleeping with her that night or anything, I just wanted to talk to her and get to know her better as a person, get to know and become accustomed to her personality. She has really awesome hair, tan, just everything a guy could want from a lady, and I blew it. Its kinda funny actually, I found out later from a really trusted source that I was being clingy..........which I guess I can see but I was hangin with my boys and dancing and just having a great time, I didn't realize I was being that way, I just didn't want to miss an opportunity with a potentially great girl. Its kinda funny actually, I have no problems talking to people, acting in front of big crowds, bowling, anything that involves a lot of people watching on, but when it comes to talking to the hottest woman you have ever seen (which this girl is, by far) I become puppy chow. Maybe this dating thing isn't meant for me. Maybe I need to read Cosmo (which, for the first time in public, I admit that I do read and have read before and will read more of.) My brothers (yall know who you are) tell me to raise my standards and not settle, but when I raise them, i get shot down, where is the happy medium?

So I am asking people who know me well, please tell me some flaws that I have. Be honest and harsh and brutal if you need to be. Chances are, if you have a link to this journal, you probably know we well enough that we will still hug and laugh when its all said and done anyway. I just need help. Any help is appreciated.

Have a great holiday everyone and remember our boys that are fighting for our freedom right now.

I wanna give a quick shout to my sis' real brother kelly wagner, who is doing what he needs to do to help us have what we have and have a happy holiday season. deepest prayers and thoughts go out to you and come on home safely dude. Take care and Ill be looking forward to the comments.

D