Is It A Sign? Or A Trick?
I've decided to talk about Yamapi tonight. Yep the guy in the picture!!! lmao. Well anways, It's probably just a coincidence...but it's just me thinking outside the box, I guess. I've been wondering why he came in my life at the perfect time. I'm currently trying to move forward in life and not to let anything bring me down. I'm ANTI-LOVE meaning I'm not looking for it. If Yamapi came into my life 2008 or 2009, I would've been an angry person...lol. Gackt and theGazettE fit that mood that I was in. Yamapi and NewS didn't....lmao. I'm not that angry person anymore, so Yamapi came into my world at the right time....haha. His song, "Loveless" saved me. Obviously it's a break-up song, duh! The song is bascially about the girl leaving him for another guy. What he saying is that he wants to say goodbye to her with a smile. I didn't have the courage to do that. Loveless is such an epic song makes me cry everytime I hear it. OK I'll continue on...NewS came out with their new album LIVE....there's a song in there that I strongly relate to...it's 2人/130,000,000の奇跡.
Here's the story of my last relationship that was nearly 4 yrs long. Yes! I loved the guy and it's a feeling that I can't get rid of so easily. We conceived Arceya in August 2008. We didn't tell anyone. We broke up on November 08, 2008 and I was still pregnant. His reason for the break-up was that I expected too much of him. That idiot promised me a future with him...LIAR...Anyways, he then tells me that he started falling out of love with me in March 2008. That means Arceya wasn't made out of OUR love. BAKA! Two weeks past and I find out that he likes another girl. How in the blue hell do you like another girl after a 4 yr relationship? I was smart enough to understand that he was getting with another girl behind my back when we were still together. I wish people told me about this. February 2009 hit...that's when my parents confronted me about me being pregnant. That's when they found out. Understand this Michael didn't do shit for me while I was pregnant with Arceya. He started to do shit when my mom confronted him on phone when I was admitted into the hospital in March 2009. Guess who he brought to the hospital...yep he brought his girlfriend. Who in their right mind would do that? That pissed me off. I left the hospital after 3 days and 2 nights. I was put on bed rest for 3 months. I was admiited into the hospital again after 2 weeks at home. That was another 3 days stay in the hospital. After that I stayed in the living room. Michael bought me a few snacks here and there but that's all he did. At the end of Arceya's baby shower, he told me that his girlfriend wanted to be at the hospital when I go into labor. I told him no she can't be there. He said that she wanted to support him and make it easier on him. And I told him that this is none of her business. He then tells me that I make it harder on him. Like I give a fuck about him. I gave birth to Arceya on May 12, 2009. The first few weeks he was around, but then he stopped coming. In April or June....Me w/ Arceya, Michael, and his GF went to Rodel's place. I asked him to change Arceya's diaper since he never came around to my house. While he was changing her diaper, I was watching the TV. He gave Arceya to the GF without my permission. And I didn't hear her say, "Is it okay with Sharon?" I told Michael in a clam pissed off voice, "Give me Arceya! Right now!" He gives her to me and says, "You're a bitch" then I told him to shut-up. On Arceya's baptismal, He brought the GF. I deliberately told him to not bring her. My mom was pissed off...I was too but i brushed it for just that day. They were so fuckin' dumb. In August, he goes off to bootcamp...guess what he didn't visit Arceya before he left. In February 2010, he came back to live in SD. Let's see, his GF in 2009 became his wife and she was 7 months pregnant. Since he came back, he rarely visited Arceya. In March 2010, I filed for Child Support since he came back from boot camp. In May 2010, we finished the Child Support. On Arceya's first birthday, he came for a few seconds and left. He didn't stay to see Arceya. I even went to go get her too... Whatever! A few months ago, Medi-cal wanted to know the income I'm getting. They wanted Michael to sign a paper as proof that I'm receiving Child Support from him. That idiot got on my case about that. He was suppose to show up this one day but never came. He had Joey (his brother) contact me and tell me that he will meet me at court tomorrow at 3pm. The following day I call him and told him that it's not at the courthouse. He then says, "Well, I want to go to court." I said that I wasn't there. He then said, "You better get there then. " I asked why. He says, "you don't need to know." I asked again why and he still said, "you don't need to know." I told him that I need to know. This is what he said, "I'm not going to pay for Medi-cal too. You're already taking enough money." I told him that all hee needed to do was sign a damn paper and that's it. He came by and signed the paper and told me that he was moving to Florida. Do you know how happy I was to hear that...lol. From what I've heard, he and his family left and he never came to say goodbye to his first daughter. WHAT AN IDIOT, NE? He tells me that I don't treat him like the father...WTF?! He hasn't done anything in the first place. That's the drama that will last a lifetime.
My heart is scarred, torn, stepped on, ripped out...you get the picture. In the LIVE album booklet the regular edition....Guess whose picture is next to 2人/130,000,000の奇跡 lyrics. I think you probably got the answer...YEAH IT'S YAMAPI! It could just be a coincidence, but it could've been anyone next to that song. But why Yamapi of all people?! It's either a sign from God or a trick? Oh yeah and why is he my ideal guy. WHY?! He likes almost everything I like. He's very optimistic like me. He loves to dance which btw I do too. He loves his friends and family. He loves animals and kids. I could go and on...However, I'm also the opposite in some ways. He's always late in the morningsand having poor Ryo-chan wait for him...I would help him with that. I will help him be punctual...lol. He doesn't cook rice, so I could take over that job for him. He's also the type that doesn't rush into a relationship..I like that! If he's not ready then I would understand that. I feel like we're made for each other...lmao. In some songs, he would sing the parts that I relate a lot to. I'm just trying to understand a what's going on. haha...I think a few nights ago, I prayed to God to give me a sign about this whole Yamapi thing that's going on. If I didn't get a sign was going to give up sending him a letter. The next morning, I don't know if this person was for real or not. But in the NewSFamily chat, Yamapi's assistant was on it. I was thinking to myself...is this the sign i asked for? lmao. I was so confused...lol. I added the so-called "official FB" of Yamapi's....lol. I know that it'll never happen. I don't even know if I'll get married in the future. My mind likes to wander and stay in the dream world. I am scared to die alone. I want someone to grow old with. I want Arceya to have a loving step-father who will love her as his own daughter. I want a husband that will love me for me. I want a husband that will keep my spirits high and care for me. Do you know how hard it is to find someone like that? I found that person and he's completely out of my reach. Why did Yamapi come into my life at the right time?! It's not like he'll give me a second look if we do ever meet. I'm short and I look like I'm 16 yrs old. Looking 16 = jailbait. That's fuckin' hard to try to get a guy. I think that would be one of the reasons why I'll be single for the rest of my life. OoO...I just found out that on the 8th of this month...I'll be single for 2 years straight. Life was hard in those past couple of years. I wanted to give up. But when Arceya was born, my perspective on life changed. Yamapi and NewS came into my life in April of this year and changed me completely...lmao. Well I guess I'll end it here with this, "Yamapi is my ideal guy." Since I want a family and be married to the guy I want to spend my life, I will not settle for anything less. So what I'm saying is that if you're not Yamapi, you're not my type...lmao. I will not date either... :P Sorry for all the typos!!! :D
Pic of the DAY:
Yamapi with his beautiful smile
We also have the same sense of style.
He's very inspirational.
I love him!!!
- Sugi-chan (-_^).v
Here's the story of my last relationship that was nearly 4 yrs long. Yes! I loved the guy and it's a feeling that I can't get rid of so easily. We conceived Arceya in August 2008. We didn't tell anyone. We broke up on November 08, 2008 and I was still pregnant. His reason for the break-up was that I expected too much of him. That idiot promised me a future with him...LIAR...Anyways, he then tells me that he started falling out of love with me in March 2008. That means Arceya wasn't made out of OUR love. BAKA! Two weeks past and I find out that he likes another girl. How in the blue hell do you like another girl after a 4 yr relationship? I was smart enough to understand that he was getting with another girl behind my back when we were still together. I wish people told me about this. February 2009 hit...that's when my parents confronted me about me being pregnant. That's when they found out. Understand this Michael didn't do shit for me while I was pregnant with Arceya. He started to do shit when my mom confronted him on phone when I was admitted into the hospital in March 2009. Guess who he brought to the hospital...yep he brought his girlfriend. Who in their right mind would do that? That pissed me off. I left the hospital after 3 days and 2 nights. I was put on bed rest for 3 months. I was admiited into the hospital again after 2 weeks at home. That was another 3 days stay in the hospital. After that I stayed in the living room. Michael bought me a few snacks here and there but that's all he did. At the end of Arceya's baby shower, he told me that his girlfriend wanted to be at the hospital when I go into labor. I told him no she can't be there. He said that she wanted to support him and make it easier on him. And I told him that this is none of her business. He then tells me that I make it harder on him. Like I give a fuck about him. I gave birth to Arceya on May 12, 2009. The first few weeks he was around, but then he stopped coming. In April or June....Me w/ Arceya, Michael, and his GF went to Rodel's place. I asked him to change Arceya's diaper since he never came around to my house. While he was changing her diaper, I was watching the TV. He gave Arceya to the GF without my permission. And I didn't hear her say, "Is it okay with Sharon?" I told Michael in a clam pissed off voice, "Give me Arceya! Right now!" He gives her to me and says, "You're a bitch" then I told him to shut-up. On Arceya's baptismal, He brought the GF. I deliberately told him to not bring her. My mom was pissed off...I was too but i brushed it for just that day. They were so fuckin' dumb. In August, he goes off to bootcamp...guess what he didn't visit Arceya before he left. In February 2010, he came back to live in SD. Let's see, his GF in 2009 became his wife and she was 7 months pregnant. Since he came back, he rarely visited Arceya. In March 2010, I filed for Child Support since he came back from boot camp. In May 2010, we finished the Child Support. On Arceya's first birthday, he came for a few seconds and left. He didn't stay to see Arceya. I even went to go get her too... Whatever! A few months ago, Medi-cal wanted to know the income I'm getting. They wanted Michael to sign a paper as proof that I'm receiving Child Support from him. That idiot got on my case about that. He was suppose to show up this one day but never came. He had Joey (his brother) contact me and tell me that he will meet me at court tomorrow at 3pm. The following day I call him and told him that it's not at the courthouse. He then says, "Well, I want to go to court." I said that I wasn't there. He then said, "You better get there then. " I asked why. He says, "you don't need to know." I asked again why and he still said, "you don't need to know." I told him that I need to know. This is what he said, "I'm not going to pay for Medi-cal too. You're already taking enough money." I told him that all hee needed to do was sign a damn paper and that's it. He came by and signed the paper and told me that he was moving to Florida. Do you know how happy I was to hear that...lol. From what I've heard, he and his family left and he never came to say goodbye to his first daughter. WHAT AN IDIOT, NE? He tells me that I don't treat him like the father...WTF?! He hasn't done anything in the first place. That's the drama that will last a lifetime.
My heart is scarred, torn, stepped on, ripped out...you get the picture. In the LIVE album booklet the regular edition....Guess whose picture is next to 2人/130,000,000の奇跡 lyrics. I think you probably got the answer...YEAH IT'S YAMAPI! It could just be a coincidence, but it could've been anyone next to that song. But why Yamapi of all people?! It's either a sign from God or a trick? Oh yeah and why is he my ideal guy. WHY?! He likes almost everything I like. He's very optimistic like me. He loves to dance which btw I do too. He loves his friends and family. He loves animals and kids. I could go and on...However, I'm also the opposite in some ways. He's always late in the morningsand having poor Ryo-chan wait for him...I would help him with that. I will help him be punctual...lol. He doesn't cook rice, so I could take over that job for him. He's also the type that doesn't rush into a relationship..I like that! If he's not ready then I would understand that. I feel like we're made for each other...lmao. In some songs, he would sing the parts that I relate a lot to. I'm just trying to understand a what's going on. haha...I think a few nights ago, I prayed to God to give me a sign about this whole Yamapi thing that's going on. If I didn't get a sign was going to give up sending him a letter. The next morning, I don't know if this person was for real or not. But in the NewSFamily chat, Yamapi's assistant was on it. I was thinking to myself...is this the sign i asked for? lmao. I was so confused...lol. I added the so-called "official FB" of Yamapi's....lol. I know that it'll never happen. I don't even know if I'll get married in the future. My mind likes to wander and stay in the dream world. I am scared to die alone. I want someone to grow old with. I want Arceya to have a loving step-father who will love her as his own daughter. I want a husband that will love me for me. I want a husband that will keep my spirits high and care for me. Do you know how hard it is to find someone like that? I found that person and he's completely out of my reach. Why did Yamapi come into my life at the right time?! It's not like he'll give me a second look if we do ever meet. I'm short and I look like I'm 16 yrs old. Looking 16 = jailbait. That's fuckin' hard to try to get a guy. I think that would be one of the reasons why I'll be single for the rest of my life. OoO...I just found out that on the 8th of this month...I'll be single for 2 years straight. Life was hard in those past couple of years. I wanted to give up. But when Arceya was born, my perspective on life changed. Yamapi and NewS came into my life in April of this year and changed me completely...lmao. Well I guess I'll end it here with this, "Yamapi is my ideal guy." Since I want a family and be married to the guy I want to spend my life, I will not settle for anything less. So what I'm saying is that if you're not Yamapi, you're not my type...lmao. I will not date either... :P Sorry for all the typos!!! :D
Pic of the DAY:
Yamapi with his beautiful smile
We also have the same sense of style.
He's very inspirational.
I love him!!!
- Sugi-chan (-_^).v