SAMPLE COMMENTkepp0xyFebruary 7 2010, 07:06:24 UTC
First pick: #79 Feedback: The author perfectly incorporated the prompt: using the elephant as Gwen's familiar was a stroke of brilliance. On top of that, the author still managed to keep everyone in character, regardless of the appearance of an elephant in Camelot. I did note one or two SPaG issues: their/they're :)
Second: # 1999 Feedback: While characterisation felt off, the author has a gorgeous, lyrical style that kept the story moving.
Third: #23 Feedback: Total props for having Gwen use a nutcracker in Arthur's presence while they're arguing and wonderfully portraying the hilarity of a situation such as that arising.
Additional comments:
# 45 - The descriptions in this absolutely drew me into the plot, and the twist about the lemon was interesting.
# 33 - I felt the pacing was a bit slow; Gwen could have revealed her criminal plan far earlier in the piece in order to bring us to a more satisfactory conclusion.
Comments 2
Feedback: The author perfectly incorporated the prompt: using the elephant as Gwen's familiar was a stroke of brilliance. On top of that, the author still managed to keep everyone in character, regardless of the appearance of an elephant in Camelot. I did note one or two SPaG issues: their/they're :)
Second: # 1999
Feedback: While characterisation felt off, the author has a gorgeous, lyrical style that kept the story moving.
Third: #23
Feedback: Total props for having Gwen use a nutcracker in Arthur's presence while they're arguing and wonderfully portraying the hilarity of a situation such as that arising.
Additional comments:
# 45 - The descriptions in this absolutely drew me into the plot, and the twist about the lemon was interesting.
# 33 - I felt the pacing was a bit slow; Gwen could have revealed her criminal plan far earlier in the piece in order to bring us to a more satisfactory conclusion.
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