you left me standing
Love is Magic;
but Magic can become Illusions.
The weak me came back. Why did you contact me? Well, I am secretly happy that you did. And secretly in that secret, I am not. You totally confused me and make me waive off track. I thought I never had to go through this but this time when I cry, I can feel my heart hurting alot. It felt like those times when we fight and you hurt me. But this time, it is different.
I've daydreaming that things would go back to how they were. When I heard you making those jokes on the phone, I thought about those times when you made me laugh at your stupidity, I genuinely smiled. I look back and wished that all these happy times will actually overwrite and erase all the problems and troubles that we had.
If only.
I don't know how to talk to you anymore. We cannot have a proper happy conversation anymore, I realise. Even when I pretend to be okay so that we can talk like before, you end up finding out that I am sad and things change. Not everyone is like you, you know. I want it to go back to two weeks ago between us. If only, what happened two weeks ago, happened this week. But then again, maybe things will still be the same.
If only.
I really wanna tell you whats happening. I opened your convo box and I wanna tell you everything, hoping that you would start encouraging me and make me feel better all again like how you always do. But, I decided not to. I did not want to show you how weak I really was. And, I would look really lousy infront of you. I did not want to spoil that image of me that you have inside of you. I hope I did not. I hope you would still continue being that person who would make me at least happy despite all these happenings.
If only,
all 3 of you were reading this.
and did something.