(no subject)
I still think Beverley is physical perfection,
I still think there was some real magic between us around November '98,
I still think if we get over the spook thing, we could get on like old friends,
But right now, there's this big wall preventing us from getting along.
I was quite taken by a documentary on Channel 4 today where a teenager described love as when you really like someone, and you just both get along really well.
And I just couldn't help think of Martina, and y'know, I get along really well with her, in a way I haven't got along with Bev in. It's weird, because our relationship obviously involved telling her about Bev, and she's ended up as everything I wanted from Bev. Y'know, she's just a friend, but I can actually tell her I love her, and make her feel special, and compliment her, and get her presents, without her getting paranoid, or "spooked", or the other adverse reactions I get from Beverley.
I still think B's reactions are as they are, because she doesn't know me.
Martina completely trusts me, and I cherrish that.
But B won't get to know me, because she has no interest in doing so.
And so the wound remains open, and the pain lives on.
Without closure.
I wish I could love Bev without being punished for it.
What's so bad about recognising what's special about B?
I call a spade a spade, and Bev is beautiful, creative, and a lovely person.
And I wish I could get along with her without upsetting her.
I still think there was some real magic between us around November '98,
I still think if we get over the spook thing, we could get on like old friends,
But right now, there's this big wall preventing us from getting along.
I was quite taken by a documentary on Channel 4 today where a teenager described love as when you really like someone, and you just both get along really well.
And I just couldn't help think of Martina, and y'know, I get along really well with her, in a way I haven't got along with Bev in. It's weird, because our relationship obviously involved telling her about Bev, and she's ended up as everything I wanted from Bev. Y'know, she's just a friend, but I can actually tell her I love her, and make her feel special, and compliment her, and get her presents, without her getting paranoid, or "spooked", or the other adverse reactions I get from Beverley.
I still think B's reactions are as they are, because she doesn't know me.
Martina completely trusts me, and I cherrish that.
But B won't get to know me, because she has no interest in doing so.
And so the wound remains open, and the pain lives on.
Without closure.
I wish I could love Bev without being punished for it.
What's so bad about recognising what's special about B?
I call a spade a spade, and Bev is beautiful, creative, and a lovely person.
And I wish I could get along with her without upsetting her.