On Attraction and Interpersonal Relationships

[thefumoffu]

To start, I think that attraction comes when we recognize things about someone consciously and subconsciously. When we sense traits that we can identify with, or we find admirable, or charismatic, we become interested and attracted. Ever notice that people who can express a sense of self clearly, through a combination of means, physical appearance

Comments

[robertorgasmli]

How do pheromones fit into this? It's true that physical characteristics and actions are interpreted in certain ways by the mind, which then leads to a mental reproduction of the person in question, but how would reception of pheromones fit in with this mental image?

Also, I feel like there can be a large gap between a meaningful interpersonal relationship and physical aesthetic/surface attraction. It's very clear that the latter induces biological need and sexual attraction, but one is not necessarily keen on "being special" to that person, or keeping a meaningful relationship.

I feel that a person's mental reproductions of other people become something like schema; when we get to know a person well enough, or even before we do, we predict (consciously or subconsciously) their actions and reactions, and we expect certain behaviors from certain people. Of course, when a behavior doesn't fit the schema, we accomodate for it and it changes our mental image of that person. For a stranger with likeable aesthetics, the mental image is very important to one's decision to pursue a mental/emotional relationship (as opposed to physical only). It all depends on the schema that's applied.

Also, I'm tired. I hope I'm making sense.

[thefumoffu]

Oh you make a lot of sense.
Ummmm, first of all, pheromones; since they unconsciously stimulate sexual desire towards another, I think it raises their level of initial attractiveness; its just another factor that adds to the aesthetics surrounding a person and the aesthetic portion of our mental image.

Well there is definitely agree that there can be a large gap between meaningful interpersonal relationship and surface attraction, though surface attraction is definitely not based wholly, or even heavily, upon aesthetics. We may feel that it is just physical attraction at first glance, but it is the image of the person that we get at first glance that we feel so attracted to. That schema that we first develop. I guess we are all optimists in this manner; because we just don't know them better, we can assume the best, or disregard anything else other than their physically striking beauty and those apparent traits that are so pleasing. That is all that exists in our schema, and they are, at that point, perfect or near perfect to us. Beauty of the unknown, if you will. But you're definitely right, initial attraction hardly has to do with keeping a meaningful relationship.

BTW, I CONCUR with your schematic view of human relationship.