(no subject)
Yeah, well it's definitely been awhile since I've tried to update this thing. I won't lie, there have been times that I've actually gotten down a whole entry and then deleted it in disappointment. Either way, my life has gone through some major changes and I should probably say something about them. Then, if I don't update for another 5 months, you'll know I'm not dead.
First of all, much to everyone's surprise, Brandon and I have broken up. Usually, when I tell people that, they ask why and I'll go into a long discussion of the reasons, since there really wasn't just one. There wasn't one particular event and it wasn't anyone's fault, but I will say that it ended much easier than I thought it would, however messy it turned out. I met Brandon just as I was finishing up a very rough freshman year. It was a time in my life where I would consider myself the most vulnerable, and Brandon was a best friend to me. Three years later, I could not say I am anything like the person I was back then. I'm much more confident, involved, happy- I'm finally okay with myself. And Brandon is still the same. Basically, I looked back and asked myself "Alicia, what did you the last three years?" and I honestly didn't know. I went over to Brandon's house a lot. Went on a visit to Chatham. Occasionally, I hung out with some of my friends and realized I could act more like myself then. And in somewhat of a panic, I finally told Brandon that things between us weren't working out.
I won't go into many more details about that as to save myself and others the embarrassment, awkwardness, etc. But we all know how that goes. Life goes on. I don't regret any minute I spent with Brandon and if there was a chance that we could still be friends, I would take it. It's just that, things are kind of messy right now and I'm going to explain why.
Sterling and I had been hanging out a lot over the past month. Even before I had broken up with Brandon, we would go out to eat, hang out at my house, we went to see the Misfits together. I guess it was just understood that we were friends and Brandon and I would probably always be together. But the more time I spent with him, I realized that maybe things could be different. And he would remind me of how Brandon and I treated each other like garbage and how weird it was that we were actually still dating. I think towards the end, the only real thing Brandon and I still had in common was the fact that we had been together so long. And my thoughts for Sterling became more and more questionable. So, let's just say that one thing led to another and I do stupid things when I'm drunk, so Sterling and I were in a situation. And we handled it by deciding to date each other. Probably the best decision I've made in a long time.
So, I guess you could say this is a new chapter in my life. The transition was kind of rough, but I think it all turned out for the better. I mean, it's kind of scary to think that every time you enter into a new relationship, you could wake up three years later and wonder where your life went. But, I'm sure it's not that bad of a feeling as long as you don't lose yourself.
Merry Christmas, loves.
First of all, much to everyone's surprise, Brandon and I have broken up. Usually, when I tell people that, they ask why and I'll go into a long discussion of the reasons, since there really wasn't just one. There wasn't one particular event and it wasn't anyone's fault, but I will say that it ended much easier than I thought it would, however messy it turned out. I met Brandon just as I was finishing up a very rough freshman year. It was a time in my life where I would consider myself the most vulnerable, and Brandon was a best friend to me. Three years later, I could not say I am anything like the person I was back then. I'm much more confident, involved, happy- I'm finally okay with myself. And Brandon is still the same. Basically, I looked back and asked myself "Alicia, what did you the last three years?" and I honestly didn't know. I went over to Brandon's house a lot. Went on a visit to Chatham. Occasionally, I hung out with some of my friends and realized I could act more like myself then. And in somewhat of a panic, I finally told Brandon that things between us weren't working out.
I won't go into many more details about that as to save myself and others the embarrassment, awkwardness, etc. But we all know how that goes. Life goes on. I don't regret any minute I spent with Brandon and if there was a chance that we could still be friends, I would take it. It's just that, things are kind of messy right now and I'm going to explain why.
Sterling and I had been hanging out a lot over the past month. Even before I had broken up with Brandon, we would go out to eat, hang out at my house, we went to see the Misfits together. I guess it was just understood that we were friends and Brandon and I would probably always be together. But the more time I spent with him, I realized that maybe things could be different. And he would remind me of how Brandon and I treated each other like garbage and how weird it was that we were actually still dating. I think towards the end, the only real thing Brandon and I still had in common was the fact that we had been together so long. And my thoughts for Sterling became more and more questionable. So, let's just say that one thing led to another and I do stupid things when I'm drunk, so Sterling and I were in a situation. And we handled it by deciding to date each other. Probably the best decision I've made in a long time.
So, I guess you could say this is a new chapter in my life. The transition was kind of rough, but I think it all turned out for the better. I mean, it's kind of scary to think that every time you enter into a new relationship, you could wake up three years later and wonder where your life went. But, I'm sure it's not that bad of a feeling as long as you don't lose yourself.
Merry Christmas, loves.