Fic: Untitled 1/? (Criminal Minds, Hotch/Morgan)
Fic: Untitled (1/?)
Author: thefrogg
Beta: None
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn't be writing fanfic.
Author's Note: Established Hotch/Morgan. AU. Weirdness (although weird is the new normal for me I guess.) Needs a title. (And a beta reader.)
Summary: Hotch can't keep going like this. Dave takes steps to remedy that.
"Have you told him?" Dave leaned back against the desk, one ankle crossed over the other.
Hotch barely glanced up from the folder he was carrying; he didn't say anything as he slid into his chair, making Dave work to keep him in his line of sight. "You really think he's going to believe me?"
~~~
"Baby girl, what's so important that you had to--"
"Shhhh! Get in here, all of you! Come on, come on!" Garcia shooed them all in, Morgan and Reid and JJ and Emily piling into her sanctum until it was crowded and cozy. "Rossi told me to make you listen!"
"You bugged Hotch's office?" Reid's outrage came out as a squeak.
"Shh!" Garcia spun around wildly to make sure the door was shut, that that little tidbit hadn't gone echoing down the hall behind them.
"This team is built on trust, Hotch, you know that."
"Yes, it is, and I trust my team with my life, even my sanity, but there's a difference between trust and belief. Telling them - any of them - would be like claiming the Easter bunny exists."
"What's this--" JJ started in confusion, her cheeks flushed, only to be shushed by the rest; fortunately they didn't miss anything.
"Hotch, I'm happy and even honored to serve as your safety net, but Gideon's gone. Haley is gone. Morgan can't offer you what you need if you don't tell him, and neither can the rest of the team."
"You're still--"
"Damnit, Hotch, show them. You have better self control than anyone I've ever known or even heard of, but it won't last forever. You need more than I can give you. At least," he added, "not without Morgan tearing this team apart over something he can't understand because you. Won't. Tell. Him."
"Okay, so I tell him, and he freaks out and can't take it. Then what?"
"Damnit, Hotch." The words were gritty, muttered through clenched teeth; Morgan covered JJ's hand with his own where she rubbed his arm in sympathy, squeezing tight enough to hurt. JJ just let him hold on and leaned into him.
"Haley didn't."
Hotch glared balefully up at Dave, the fingers of his left hand twitching around his pen. "Aside from the fact that--"
"Hotch, we aren't going there. I'm not letting you change the subject."
"We might as well, because the answer is no. I am not subjecting the team to--"
"I'm calling bullshit."
Hotch stopped short at the interruption. "Excuse me?"
"On the no intra-team profiling rule." Dave's wry, sardonic smile wasn't visible from the camera angle, but it was all too present in his tone. "I'm calling bullshit. We all do it, it's instinct. We just don't follow up. We don't poke or prod or ask questions, and we don't use what we know to hurt each other. We do it so we know when to back off, and when to jump in to be each other's shield. We can't protect you if you won't let us, and you're going to get yourself killed over it."
"I have never endangered--"
"You're going to lose control where I can't cover for you. And it's going to be because you didn't tell your team and you can't take care of yourself properly with just me as backup."
Hotch just stared at him for a long moment.
"Hotch, I'm not Gideon. I can't do that for you."
"Get out of my office."
Dave drew back, stunned. "Hotch?"
"You're right. You aren't Gideon. Gideon would have made his point without pushing me to the edge. If you value this team and your place on it, get out of my office. Now."
"Gideon couldn't have, he didn't know--" Dave stopped, backing up, his hands up in a gesture of surrender as Hotch stood up. "I'm going, I'm going..."
The sound Hotch made was close to a growl.
"Okay, okay, I think that's--" Garcia's voice shook as the screen went black, Hotch's furious glare vanishing.
"Morgan?" Emily all but whispered, unsure; it was enough to draw everyone else's attention.
We do it so we know when to back off, and when to jump in to be each other's shield. Dave's words seemed to echo through the small room.
Morgan swallowed, the sound unnaturally loud in the tense silence; his shoulders slammed into the wall behind him. "He doesn't trust me."
"No, sweetness, that's..." Garcia spun around, too late to stop Morgan from sliding to the floor, dragging JJ with him. "That's not true, he's just--he didn't tell any of us--"
"I don't think Hotch told Dave, either," Reid said, frowning. "It sounded like he found out by mistake--found out what, I'm not sure, but I don't think it's anything bad..." His voice trailed off, the mystery of whatever Hotch was hiding too strong a pull to ignore.
"After--after everything--" Morgan managed to choke out, shaking his head and finally turning his head away, closing his eyes against the pain. After everything he'd gone through to build his relationship with Hotch, after everything the team had done to help in the wake of the knowledge of the abuse he'd suffered and been unable to heal from, after everything--
"You never thought it'd be Hotch's insecurity that would..." Emily shook her head, sighing and pressing two fingers to the bridge of her nose.
"You want to know the truth?" JJ asked, pressing herself as close as she could manage, as close as Morgan would let her.
Morgan let out a strangled laugh.
"Hotch is scared," JJ murmured. "That's all. He's scared of losing you, scared of losing us."
"We've all kept secrets," Reid said, hands fisting against his slacks, wanting to touch and knowing better than to try. "The question is, are you going to let this one tear you apart, or are you going to give him the chance to tell you?"
Morgan just let JJ cuddle him and said nothing.
Author: thefrogg
Beta: None
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn't be writing fanfic.
Author's Note: Established Hotch/Morgan. AU. Weirdness (although weird is the new normal for me I guess.) Needs a title. (And a beta reader.)
Summary: Hotch can't keep going like this. Dave takes steps to remedy that.
"Have you told him?" Dave leaned back against the desk, one ankle crossed over the other.
Hotch barely glanced up from the folder he was carrying; he didn't say anything as he slid into his chair, making Dave work to keep him in his line of sight. "You really think he's going to believe me?"
~~~
"Baby girl, what's so important that you had to--"
"Shhhh! Get in here, all of you! Come on, come on!" Garcia shooed them all in, Morgan and Reid and JJ and Emily piling into her sanctum until it was crowded and cozy. "Rossi told me to make you listen!"
"You bugged Hotch's office?" Reid's outrage came out as a squeak.
"Shh!" Garcia spun around wildly to make sure the door was shut, that that little tidbit hadn't gone echoing down the hall behind them.
"This team is built on trust, Hotch, you know that."
"Yes, it is, and I trust my team with my life, even my sanity, but there's a difference between trust and belief. Telling them - any of them - would be like claiming the Easter bunny exists."
"What's this--" JJ started in confusion, her cheeks flushed, only to be shushed by the rest; fortunately they didn't miss anything.
"Hotch, I'm happy and even honored to serve as your safety net, but Gideon's gone. Haley is gone. Morgan can't offer you what you need if you don't tell him, and neither can the rest of the team."
"You're still--"
"Damnit, Hotch, show them. You have better self control than anyone I've ever known or even heard of, but it won't last forever. You need more than I can give you. At least," he added, "not without Morgan tearing this team apart over something he can't understand because you. Won't. Tell. Him."
"Okay, so I tell him, and he freaks out and can't take it. Then what?"
"Damnit, Hotch." The words were gritty, muttered through clenched teeth; Morgan covered JJ's hand with his own where she rubbed his arm in sympathy, squeezing tight enough to hurt. JJ just let him hold on and leaned into him.
"Haley didn't."
Hotch glared balefully up at Dave, the fingers of his left hand twitching around his pen. "Aside from the fact that--"
"Hotch, we aren't going there. I'm not letting you change the subject."
"We might as well, because the answer is no. I am not subjecting the team to--"
"I'm calling bullshit."
Hotch stopped short at the interruption. "Excuse me?"
"On the no intra-team profiling rule." Dave's wry, sardonic smile wasn't visible from the camera angle, but it was all too present in his tone. "I'm calling bullshit. We all do it, it's instinct. We just don't follow up. We don't poke or prod or ask questions, and we don't use what we know to hurt each other. We do it so we know when to back off, and when to jump in to be each other's shield. We can't protect you if you won't let us, and you're going to get yourself killed over it."
"I have never endangered--"
"You're going to lose control where I can't cover for you. And it's going to be because you didn't tell your team and you can't take care of yourself properly with just me as backup."
Hotch just stared at him for a long moment.
"Hotch, I'm not Gideon. I can't do that for you."
"Get out of my office."
Dave drew back, stunned. "Hotch?"
"You're right. You aren't Gideon. Gideon would have made his point without pushing me to the edge. If you value this team and your place on it, get out of my office. Now."
"Gideon couldn't have, he didn't know--" Dave stopped, backing up, his hands up in a gesture of surrender as Hotch stood up. "I'm going, I'm going..."
The sound Hotch made was close to a growl.
"Okay, okay, I think that's--" Garcia's voice shook as the screen went black, Hotch's furious glare vanishing.
"Morgan?" Emily all but whispered, unsure; it was enough to draw everyone else's attention.
We do it so we know when to back off, and when to jump in to be each other's shield. Dave's words seemed to echo through the small room.
Morgan swallowed, the sound unnaturally loud in the tense silence; his shoulders slammed into the wall behind him. "He doesn't trust me."
"No, sweetness, that's..." Garcia spun around, too late to stop Morgan from sliding to the floor, dragging JJ with him. "That's not true, he's just--he didn't tell any of us--"
"I don't think Hotch told Dave, either," Reid said, frowning. "It sounded like he found out by mistake--found out what, I'm not sure, but I don't think it's anything bad..." His voice trailed off, the mystery of whatever Hotch was hiding too strong a pull to ignore.
"After--after everything--" Morgan managed to choke out, shaking his head and finally turning his head away, closing his eyes against the pain. After everything he'd gone through to build his relationship with Hotch, after everything the team had done to help in the wake of the knowledge of the abuse he'd suffered and been unable to heal from, after everything--
"You never thought it'd be Hotch's insecurity that would..." Emily shook her head, sighing and pressing two fingers to the bridge of her nose.
"You want to know the truth?" JJ asked, pressing herself as close as she could manage, as close as Morgan would let her.
Morgan let out a strangled laugh.
"Hotch is scared," JJ murmured. "That's all. He's scared of losing you, scared of losing us."
"We've all kept secrets," Reid said, hands fisting against his slacks, wanting to touch and knowing better than to try. "The question is, are you going to let this one tear you apart, or are you going to give him the chance to tell you?"
Morgan just let JJ cuddle him and said nothing.