Using the Sorting Hat on other fandoms
I've been indulging myself with some of my favorite HP fanfic (Transfigurations by resonant, in particular), and for some reason I got the urge to Sort other fandom characters into Houses. Beware - very weird hybrid canons involved, and I ignore Season 5 of SGA.
More as I think of them - feel free to contribute/comment!
Criminal Minds
Aaron Hotchner - The Sorting Hat couldn't decide whether Hotch was supposed to be Slytherin or Gryffindor, so Hotch told it to make him a Gryffindor. Because nobody expects a Gryffindor to think like a Slytherin. Ever since then, Hotch has avoided being at Hogwarts whenever the Sorting Hat needs to appoint anyone for anything.
Derek Morgan - Gryffindor
Jennifer Jareau - The Sorting Hat tried like hell to sort her into Slytherin, but even as a first year she was strong enough to get her way and became a Ravenclaw. She runs the Hogwarts betting ring.
Spencer Reid - Reid knew he was going to be Sorted into Ravenclaw, but the Sorting Hat outsmarted him and sensed his tendency for stupid bravery. Or brave stupidity. Maybe just a sheer lack of sense. He wound up in Gryffindor.
Penelope Garcia - The only reason Garcia managed to get herself sorted into Ravenclaw was because she flattered the Sorting Hat within a centimeter of its last thread, going on about the magnificence of the stitching, how it so perfectly matched her robes, and was so soft and warm and just the most beautiful hat ever bespelled...but really, she knows she's a Slytherin at heart. She's just very good at hiding it behind all the giggles and cooing.
SGA
John Sheppard - Gryffindor. It took the Sorting Hat a record .23 seconds to figure that one out. Sheppard was rather insulted.
Rodney McKay - There was no doubt in Rodney's mind that Sheppard was going to be Sorted into Gryffindor, and spent almost ten minutes making everyone impatient and angry while he argued that 'only a Gryffindor can save another Gryffindor, and wasn't Hermione a Gryffindor anyways?" The Sorting Hat simply said that is usually took a Slytherin to save a Gryffindor and Rodney belonged in Ravenclaw anyways, but got sick and tired of Rodney's prattle and gave him what he wanted just to get rid of him. Now the Sorting Hat refuses to go back on Rodney's head for any reason.
Radek Zalenka - The Sorting Hat spent six and a half verses making everyone think he was going to be Slytherin, but finally Sorted him into Ravenclaw. He runs the Hogwarts black market.
Evan Lorne - Ravenclaw
Todd - The Sorting Hat waffled between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, finally told him he was a Gryffindor for trying to mediate a damn war, and announced to the public he was a Slytherin because no one would believe anything else.
Michael - Michael Kenmore was Sorted into Hufflepuff, but after his memories returned and he went bad, the Sorting Hat could be heard mumbling, "I knew I should have Sorted him into Slytherin..."
Elizabeth Weir - Weir wanted to be a Ravenclaw, but the Sorting Hat wouldn't have any of it and threw her in with the rest of the Slytherins.
Samantha Carter - Spent most of her life as a Hufflepuff, but when the Sorting Hat had to decide on a new Headmaster, when it came her turn to wear it, it popped a few stitches and re-Sorted her into Ravenclaw. (She didn't become Headmaster.)
Daniel - Started out as a Hufflepuff, but after he Descended, the Sorting Hat insisted on re-Sorting him. To absolutely no-one's surprise, he got shuffled into Gryffindor with all the other stupidly brave people.
NCIS
Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Very comfortably a Slytherin. The Sorting Hat has an odd hobby of turning itself into a worn baseball cap and sitting on his head; they trade logic puzzles, riddles, and the like back and forth, and enjoy messing with each other's minds.
Abigail Sciuto - Abby totally geeks out, insisting that the Hat come down to the lab and tell her all about the old magic the rest of the wizarding world has forgotten, and flying off on tangents. The Sorting Hat is completely bewildered by the time it's able to shuffle her absently into Ravenclaw, and that only because Abby's already had three CaffPows and needs to use the restroom.
Tony DiNozzo - Tony begged to be put in Slytherin; the Sorting Hat told him to be grateful he wasn't being shoved into Hufflepuff for that loyalty streak right before it announced him a Gryffindor.
Timothy McGee - The Sorting Hat spent four verses extolling the virtues of Gryffindor before summarily declaring McGee a Hufflepuff. McGee still doesn't know why the central witness in Thom E. Gemcity's next book, entitled "Straight On", is a homeless, singing poet.
Ziva - Slytherin
Ducky - Hufflepuff
Jimmy Palmer - Hufflepuff
Vance - Slytherin
Jenny - Slytherin
More as I think of them - feel free to contribute/comment!
Criminal Minds
Aaron Hotchner - The Sorting Hat couldn't decide whether Hotch was supposed to be Slytherin or Gryffindor, so Hotch told it to make him a Gryffindor. Because nobody expects a Gryffindor to think like a Slytherin. Ever since then, Hotch has avoided being at Hogwarts whenever the Sorting Hat needs to appoint anyone for anything.
Derek Morgan - Gryffindor
Jennifer Jareau - The Sorting Hat tried like hell to sort her into Slytherin, but even as a first year she was strong enough to get her way and became a Ravenclaw. She runs the Hogwarts betting ring.
Spencer Reid - Reid knew he was going to be Sorted into Ravenclaw, but the Sorting Hat outsmarted him and sensed his tendency for stupid bravery. Or brave stupidity. Maybe just a sheer lack of sense. He wound up in Gryffindor.
Penelope Garcia - The only reason Garcia managed to get herself sorted into Ravenclaw was because she flattered the Sorting Hat within a centimeter of its last thread, going on about the magnificence of the stitching, how it so perfectly matched her robes, and was so soft and warm and just the most beautiful hat ever bespelled...but really, she knows she's a Slytherin at heart. She's just very good at hiding it behind all the giggles and cooing.
SGA
John Sheppard - Gryffindor. It took the Sorting Hat a record .23 seconds to figure that one out. Sheppard was rather insulted.
Rodney McKay - There was no doubt in Rodney's mind that Sheppard was going to be Sorted into Gryffindor, and spent almost ten minutes making everyone impatient and angry while he argued that 'only a Gryffindor can save another Gryffindor, and wasn't Hermione a Gryffindor anyways?" The Sorting Hat simply said that is usually took a Slytherin to save a Gryffindor and Rodney belonged in Ravenclaw anyways, but got sick and tired of Rodney's prattle and gave him what he wanted just to get rid of him. Now the Sorting Hat refuses to go back on Rodney's head for any reason.
Radek Zalenka - The Sorting Hat spent six and a half verses making everyone think he was going to be Slytherin, but finally Sorted him into Ravenclaw. He runs the Hogwarts black market.
Evan Lorne - Ravenclaw
Todd - The Sorting Hat waffled between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, finally told him he was a Gryffindor for trying to mediate a damn war, and announced to the public he was a Slytherin because no one would believe anything else.
Michael - Michael Kenmore was Sorted into Hufflepuff, but after his memories returned and he went bad, the Sorting Hat could be heard mumbling, "I knew I should have Sorted him into Slytherin..."
Elizabeth Weir - Weir wanted to be a Ravenclaw, but the Sorting Hat wouldn't have any of it and threw her in with the rest of the Slytherins.
Samantha Carter - Spent most of her life as a Hufflepuff, but when the Sorting Hat had to decide on a new Headmaster, when it came her turn to wear it, it popped a few stitches and re-Sorted her into Ravenclaw. (She didn't become Headmaster.)
Daniel - Started out as a Hufflepuff, but after he Descended, the Sorting Hat insisted on re-Sorting him. To absolutely no-one's surprise, he got shuffled into Gryffindor with all the other stupidly brave people.
NCIS
Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Very comfortably a Slytherin. The Sorting Hat has an odd hobby of turning itself into a worn baseball cap and sitting on his head; they trade logic puzzles, riddles, and the like back and forth, and enjoy messing with each other's minds.
Abigail Sciuto - Abby totally geeks out, insisting that the Hat come down to the lab and tell her all about the old magic the rest of the wizarding world has forgotten, and flying off on tangents. The Sorting Hat is completely bewildered by the time it's able to shuffle her absently into Ravenclaw, and that only because Abby's already had three CaffPows and needs to use the restroom.
Tony DiNozzo - Tony begged to be put in Slytherin; the Sorting Hat told him to be grateful he wasn't being shoved into Hufflepuff for that loyalty streak right before it announced him a Gryffindor.
Timothy McGee - The Sorting Hat spent four verses extolling the virtues of Gryffindor before summarily declaring McGee a Hufflepuff. McGee still doesn't know why the central witness in Thom E. Gemcity's next book, entitled "Straight On", is a homeless, singing poet.
Ziva - Slytherin
Ducky - Hufflepuff
Jimmy Palmer - Hufflepuff
Vance - Slytherin
Jenny - Slytherin