Fic: I Want It That Way or Why Todd Doesn't Listen to the Backstreet Boys(SGA)
Title: I Want It That Way, or Why Todd Doesn't Listen to the Backstreet Boys
Author: thefrogg
Rating: PG13-ish
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I swear.
Summary: Plot bunnies have big nasty pointy teeth. This is one bit. Hard. Also, crack!fic. As if anyone in SGA fandom is surprised.
A/N: This probably doesn't really fit in the SGA timeline anywhere, but in some universe, this is how the Wraith were defeated. (Please note: I pretty much ignore everything after the first handful of Season 5 eps, so.)
"This is so embarrassing," Rodney muttered, typing at his laptop. "How the hell do we write this up? You'd think we could use, I don't know, some kind of superweapon to get rid of the Wraith. This is so beneath me."
"This is our superweapon, McKay, and you write about the delivery, not the payload," John said, still staring the screen tracking the Wraith Hives heading toward Atlantis.
"Yes, yes, because it takes the smartest man in two galaxies to leave an iPod out. Why did Kusanagi have that garbage on there, anyways?"
"Because she likes it," Ronon grunted. "Todd." He waited for yellow eyes to flicker. "Your people going to be okay?"
Todd said nothing, only nodded once, his hand slowly clenching halfway on the table.
"We'll know soon enough if the patch leaked." There was a note of finality in John's voice.
"John." Teyla didn't look up from where Torren nestled in her arms, but her tone was sharp enough to cut.
John didn't answer.
"He did not have to help us."
"Oh, like finding him bleeding out his eyes and ears wasn't enough of a hint--" Rodney snapped.
"Rodney!"
One foot braced on the table leg, Todd shoved himself backward, the chair scraping along the metal floor.
Torren whimpered, pulling at Teyla's hair.
"Ronon, please take Todd back to the infirmary. I believe the isolation chambers are soundproof," Teyla bit out, carefully freeing her hair from Torren's fists.
"Sure." Ronon tucked his knife back in its sheath and stood, eyeing the still-too-silent figure for a moment.
Todd laughed weakly, almost sliding out of his seat from pain, and weakness. "Even now...even now you...fear me..." he whispered, swallowing hard, "and I...cannot..."
"No." Ronon shook his head, dreadlocks swaying slightly. "Teyla's right. First time was an accident. Rest of it...wasn't necessary." With surprising gentleness, Ronon pulled Todd to his feet and tucked himself under the Wraith's shoulder. "Let you know when he gets settled," he said, the words for John, but directed at Teyla.
"Thank you." She could not keep herself from watching surreptitiously as Ronon all but dragged Todd out of the room, Stackhouse joining them at the door to brace Todd's free side.
"Jennifer did say that, that he'd be okay, didn't she?" Rodney asked, hands still on the keyboard. Todd and his human crutches were long gone, heavy footsteps dwindled to silence.
"He'll be fine," John said, drawing out the last word.
"John," Teyla said, speaking as if to a child, "we do not know that for sure, and we will not for some time since he can no longer feed. You may not care should he die, that is certainly your right, but he has earned my concern, and my respect, and yes, he has earned some measure of trust. Or have you forgotten how close we came to killing him with your superweapon?" The last was spoken with bitter irony.
"Not to, you know, interrupt, but the Wraith are almost in range," Rodney said, fingers once again tapping out their quiet, uneven staccato.
Teyla straightened, shifting Torren higher on her shoulder, and cocked her head, listening. "Thank you, Ronon. You have good timing." She nodded to Rodney.
"Okay, remember, you have to give me at least sixty seconds--"
"I know, McKay. Open a channel. Audio only."
"And you're live in three...two...one," and Rodney pointed.
"Who is this?" The demanding hiss of a Wraith queen filled the room, making Teyla cup her hand over Torren's ear.
"This is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis." There was a lazy smile on his face, in his voice.
"So, you no longer hide yourself behind paltry excuses."
"Nope, thought I'd try talking to you instead."
"And do what? Convince us to go away?" Her tone was snide, resentful.
"Well, I'd give that a shot, but I figured asking you to take the feeding serum had a better chance of working."
A snort echoed. Teyla and Rodney hid their smiles.
"Guess not, huh."
"You guess correctly, Lietenant Colonel John Sheppard."
"So what now? I could tell you about the last football game I saw if you want. I'd offer hockey, but that's more Dr. McKay's sport, not mine." He smiled as Rodney ticked down the seconds on the fingers of his left hand.
"I have no need for your spo--" The epithet cut off in a shriek of pain as too-familiar music blasted from the Hive's speakers.
Torren jerked, arms flailing, and began to whimper, quieting quickly as Rodney turned the volume down to background noise. A few more adjustments filtered out the Wraith screams. Words could be made out over the synthesizers.
"We've been waiting so long
Just can't hold it back no more
Creepin' up and down now
It's time for me to let it go"
"I swear, I am going to have that song stuck in my head until..." John sighed and shook his head.
"What I want to know is, are they going to expect us to pay royalties?"
John just laughed and shook his head.
~~~the end~~~
Author: thefrogg
Rating: PG13-ish
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I swear.
Summary: Plot bunnies have big nasty pointy teeth. This is one bit. Hard. Also, crack!fic. As if anyone in SGA fandom is surprised.
A/N: This probably doesn't really fit in the SGA timeline anywhere, but in some universe, this is how the Wraith were defeated. (Please note: I pretty much ignore everything after the first handful of Season 5 eps, so.)
"This is so embarrassing," Rodney muttered, typing at his laptop. "How the hell do we write this up? You'd think we could use, I don't know, some kind of superweapon to get rid of the Wraith. This is so beneath me."
"This is our superweapon, McKay, and you write about the delivery, not the payload," John said, still staring the screen tracking the Wraith Hives heading toward Atlantis.
"Yes, yes, because it takes the smartest man in two galaxies to leave an iPod out. Why did Kusanagi have that garbage on there, anyways?"
"Because she likes it," Ronon grunted. "Todd." He waited for yellow eyes to flicker. "Your people going to be okay?"
Todd said nothing, only nodded once, his hand slowly clenching halfway on the table.
"We'll know soon enough if the patch leaked." There was a note of finality in John's voice.
"John." Teyla didn't look up from where Torren nestled in her arms, but her tone was sharp enough to cut.
John didn't answer.
"He did not have to help us."
"Oh, like finding him bleeding out his eyes and ears wasn't enough of a hint--" Rodney snapped.
"Rodney!"
One foot braced on the table leg, Todd shoved himself backward, the chair scraping along the metal floor.
Torren whimpered, pulling at Teyla's hair.
"Ronon, please take Todd back to the infirmary. I believe the isolation chambers are soundproof," Teyla bit out, carefully freeing her hair from Torren's fists.
"Sure." Ronon tucked his knife back in its sheath and stood, eyeing the still-too-silent figure for a moment.
Todd laughed weakly, almost sliding out of his seat from pain, and weakness. "Even now...even now you...fear me..." he whispered, swallowing hard, "and I...cannot..."
"No." Ronon shook his head, dreadlocks swaying slightly. "Teyla's right. First time was an accident. Rest of it...wasn't necessary." With surprising gentleness, Ronon pulled Todd to his feet and tucked himself under the Wraith's shoulder. "Let you know when he gets settled," he said, the words for John, but directed at Teyla.
"Thank you." She could not keep herself from watching surreptitiously as Ronon all but dragged Todd out of the room, Stackhouse joining them at the door to brace Todd's free side.
"Jennifer did say that, that he'd be okay, didn't she?" Rodney asked, hands still on the keyboard. Todd and his human crutches were long gone, heavy footsteps dwindled to silence.
"He'll be fine," John said, drawing out the last word.
"John," Teyla said, speaking as if to a child, "we do not know that for sure, and we will not for some time since he can no longer feed. You may not care should he die, that is certainly your right, but he has earned my concern, and my respect, and yes, he has earned some measure of trust. Or have you forgotten how close we came to killing him with your superweapon?" The last was spoken with bitter irony.
"Not to, you know, interrupt, but the Wraith are almost in range," Rodney said, fingers once again tapping out their quiet, uneven staccato.
Teyla straightened, shifting Torren higher on her shoulder, and cocked her head, listening. "Thank you, Ronon. You have good timing." She nodded to Rodney.
"Okay, remember, you have to give me at least sixty seconds--"
"I know, McKay. Open a channel. Audio only."
"And you're live in three...two...one," and Rodney pointed.
"Who is this?" The demanding hiss of a Wraith queen filled the room, making Teyla cup her hand over Torren's ear.
"This is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis." There was a lazy smile on his face, in his voice.
"So, you no longer hide yourself behind paltry excuses."
"Nope, thought I'd try talking to you instead."
"And do what? Convince us to go away?" Her tone was snide, resentful.
"Well, I'd give that a shot, but I figured asking you to take the feeding serum had a better chance of working."
A snort echoed. Teyla and Rodney hid their smiles.
"Guess not, huh."
"You guess correctly, Lietenant Colonel John Sheppard."
"So what now? I could tell you about the last football game I saw if you want. I'd offer hockey, but that's more Dr. McKay's sport, not mine." He smiled as Rodney ticked down the seconds on the fingers of his left hand.
"I have no need for your spo--" The epithet cut off in a shriek of pain as too-familiar music blasted from the Hive's speakers.
Torren jerked, arms flailing, and began to whimper, quieting quickly as Rodney turned the volume down to background noise. A few more adjustments filtered out the Wraith screams. Words could be made out over the synthesizers.
"We've been waiting so long
Just can't hold it back no more
Creepin' up and down now
It's time for me to let it go"
"I swear, I am going to have that song stuck in my head until..." John sighed and shook his head.
"What I want to know is, are they going to expect us to pay royalties?"
John just laughed and shook his head.
~~~the end~~~