I liked the writing style; it took me 2 readings (it's late and I'm tired!), but once I figured out who was speaking I decided I liked not having details told to me but "hearing" them spoken. I don't know if I'd like many stories in this style, but it was a nice change. It seems to fit an emotionally charged story, like this one. Too many explained details would distract from the the conversation (and the angst!).
And I liked the theme also. The interaction between Haley and Gideon was natural and believable.
Glad the format worked for you. Even moreso that the interaction came across naturally - I seem to struggle a lot more with Gideon when he's reacting to something/someone, instead of driving the conversation.
I like the style for straight conversation. It works as long as there's a limited number of people, (I've done it with four) and you remember to give enough 'clues/identifiers' to who's talking. (Which you did.)
Instead of "..." you might try what's called an audible pause "um, uh, ah," they have no meaning but show the person is trying to think of something to say. I tend to use "I --.", "But --." or "You --."
I've only read a handful of dialog-only stories, and in most of those with more than two people, there aren't enough clues to keep track of who's saying what.
I was a little squicky about using "...", but it wouldn't have worked with noncommittal noises. When I was writing it, those pauses were more changes in breathing pattern you'd hear across the phoneline, but aside from putting "hhhh."...I couldn't get it across without resorting to non-dialog. Thus, "..."
"I really think that we both love him, and that we both want what's best for him, and that this is the only way either of us is going to be able to live with ourselves."
i'm still not likinf haley, but you made me dislike her a little less :)
There are characters I like and those I ...like less in CM, but my personal goal, in hind sight, is to make them all essential to the OI&E storyline while still keeping them believable within the canon I've got to work with.
Or something like that.
I still think we (too) rarely get to see Haley when she doesn't have an excuse to be bitchy about Hotch's job.
you are sadly right abouth haley. i think she can;t be really THAT horrible bitch person, becouse [come on!] hotch married her for a reason, right? propably she didn;t really realize how much aaron will be away from home....so i fell pretty sad for her [and all cops wives]
I think it's probably that Hotch and Haley got married while he was a lawyer, before he joined the FBI and BAU. And you can plan and talk and whatever, but you won't really know what it's like until you get there, so now Haley has to deal with Hotch's job and it's probably not exactly what she expected (and a whole lot more).
I like it. I'm curious as to what exactly Gideon does from Hotch--does he just give him a place where he doesn't need to repress his dark side? Or is it more complicated than that?
I'm also wild to know how they resolved the Strauss situation.
Thanks! There was supposed to be more [explanation] from Haley's side, according to what was running through my head while I was at work, but when I sat down to write it, it refused to be written down in a way I was willing to print. Hopefully it'll appear in the next one or two. I will say this: It is more complicated than Gideon giving Hotch's dark side space.
As for the Strauss Situation (tm), I have some end-point consequences figured out, but I'm still planning how I'm going to get there. It'll probably take a while, as I've got...uh. three different places in the storyline I'm working on, and Five Things That Never Happened to Tobias Hankel stuck in my head at the moment.
I think the dialogue only works for this section of the story, because it's a phone call-- dialogue only allows for switching viewpoints without any cognitive dissonance. However, as a general rule, I don't like dialogue only fiction. It doesn't involve me, doesn't make me connect.
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And I liked the theme also. The interaction between Haley and Gideon was natural and believable.
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As if I don't write enough of it!
Glad the format worked for you. Even moreso that the interaction came across naturally - I seem to struggle a lot more with Gideon when he's reacting to something/someone, instead of driving the conversation.
Reply
Instead of "..." you might try what's called an audible pause "um, uh, ah," they have no meaning but show the person is trying to think of something to say. I tend to use "I --.", "But --." or "You --."
Oh, I like the story, too.
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I was a little squicky about using "...", but it wouldn't have worked with noncommittal noises. When I was writing it, those pauses were more changes in breathing pattern you'd hear across the phoneline, but aside from putting "hhhh."...I couldn't get it across without resorting to non-dialog. Thus, "..."
Glad you like the story!
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i'm still not likinf haley, but you made me dislike her a little less :)
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There are characters I like and those I ...like less in CM, but my personal goal, in hind sight, is to make them all essential to the OI&E storyline while still keeping them believable within the canon I've got to work with.
Or something like that.
I still think we (too) rarely get to see Haley when she doesn't have an excuse to be bitchy about Hotch's job.
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I'm also wild to know how they resolved the Strauss situation.
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As for the Strauss Situation (tm), I have some end-point consequences figured out, but I'm still planning how I'm going to get there. It'll probably take a while, as I've got...uh. three different places in the storyline I'm working on, and Five Things That Never Happened to Tobias Hankel stuck in my head at the moment.
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