The Fear
Fandom: My Chemical Romance/NSYNC
Title: The Fear
Author: my_life_myway33
Theme(s): 004.Lost
Pairing: Frank Iero/Lance Bass
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,699
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me but the words written.
Author Notes: Written for 30_memories prompt.
Past Parts: 019. Please forget about me...
001.Ten Years Ago...
You’re staring down at the hole in the ground. It’s all you can look at. Your eyes can’t move away from it. You know there are some fifty odd people standing around you, but all you can see is the hole in the ground. The hole where someone is about to be put, about to be lost in.
You are suddenly compelled to walk to the very edge of the hole. You stand with your toes just barely edging over the side while the rest of your feet are firmly on the ground. You look down.
The hole is dark and never ending. You try to find the end, but all you see is darkness going farther and farther and farther down. You bend down very carefully and get onto your knees next to the hole and you continue to stare. You’re ruining the pants of your best suit, but you need to find the bottom of the hole. You’re father is about to be put in there, if there is no end, he’ll never land.
You reach to your side and pick up a stone; you feel it for a few moments. The stone is smooth against the pads of your fingers, you will forever remember the way that specific stone felt against your fingers and you will forever try to find another stone with the same feeling.
You will never find it.
You raise your hand up slowly then even slower hover your hand over the hole. You turn your hand over, open your fingers, and the stone hangs for a split second in your hand before it drops. You suck in your breath and hold it. You wait for the sound of the stone hitting the bottom.
You will never hear it.
After what feels like hours you shift around again, back up a little bit so that you can fit your tiny, eight-year-old hands on the edge of the hole now. Once you’re in position you lean over to look better into the hole.
Then without warning there is a hand reaching out to you slowly, inviting you to take it. You’re scared now. How is there a hand when there is no bottom?
You quickly begin to get to your feet and you manage it, you turn around, but just as you are about to step away from the hole and run, the hand, which is now just bones, grabs your ankle and you begin a tug of war for your life.
You scream, but there is no sound. You yank your foot trying to get it out of the grip of the bone-hand with no luck.
Then the hand begins to pull you towards the hole. You fall to the ground and you begin to grasp for a grip to hold onto, still screaming with no sound. You know you’re screaming, because it’s making your throat hurt, but why is there no sound? Why can you not hear it?
The bone-hand just continues to pull you into the hole and by now you’re griping onto the very edge of the endless hole by just your fingers. You don’t want to go down that hole. It’s where you’re Dad is supposed to go, not you.
Then suddenly your Dad is next to you too, being dragged towards the hole as well. You’re Dad screams your name and you hear it and you scream his name, but you don’t hear it. You both reach out to grip onto the other and to save yourselves.
Your Dad lets go and he is lost to the dark. You take a harder grip onto the edge, now screaming for your Dad and still not being heard. You start to fight the hand harder and you actually start to win. You’re beginning to pull yourself back up.
You will lose the battle.
The earth below your hands suddenly gives way under you and you’re pulled into the bottomless hole. Now you’re screaming even louder as you fall into the darkness.
Lance jerked awake to the loud screams of his roommate. He jumped out of the bed and dashed for the room down the hall. He doesn’t even remember that he’s naked, because that night he’d gotten lucky; he’s just worried about his best friend.
Lance slams the door open and lunges for the bed and shakes his friend hard to wake him up. “Frank! Frank! Come on Frank it’s just a dream!”
Frank jerks awake still screaming and shoves hard at Lance, sending both of them flying off the bed on opposite sides. Both men land with loud thumps on the cold wooden floor, Frank still screaming.
Lance quickly jumps back to his feet and rushes to Frank’s side. “Frank it was just a dream, calm down. It’s okay, it’s over now.” Lance begins to rock Frank slowly and stroke his hair to calm him.
Once Frank finally realizes he isn’t falling into a hole that will never end, he breaks like he always does. He sobs hard into Lance’s bare chest while his entire body shakes violently. The dream that he has only comes to him a couple times a year now, but it still shakes him to his very core.
Lance picks Frank up and sets them both on the bed again and waits for his friend to calm down. He just waits it out, because he knows it’s the only thing he can do. He’s been dealing with Frank’s nightmares for years now, so he just waits.
At last Frank begins to calm down and curl into Lance. Lance lies back on the bed and gets situated, “Same dream?” he asks softly and Frank nods. “Was your dad there?”
“Yeah,” Frank gulps thinking of the way his father had looked.
Frank had begun to have the dream a week after he’d watched his Dad get lowered into the ground when he was eight. It wasn’t so much that he was afraid of death or graves, it was simply that he was scared of what happened after death. He still searched for a satisfying answer as to what happened, but had yet to find it.
“Lance?!” Kai, Lance’s boyfriend, called from down the hall.
It was then that Lance realized he was still naked, in bed, with Frank, who also happened to be naked. He sighed and shifted about again and decided to just ignore Kai for now.
Frank however wasn’t going to let that happen, he looked up at Lance and tilted his head towards the door, “Go ahead, I’m fine.”
“You sure?” Lance asked looking down at his best friend.
Frank nodded and sat up, “Yeah, I’m okay now. Thanks.”
Lance sat up too and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, “Just call if you need me okay?” Lance leaned over and pressed his palm to Frank’s cheek, “Promise?”
Frank nodded and smiled, “Always do.” They leaned into each other and kissed really quickly, a “friendly” kiss before Lance left to deal with his boyfriend.
Frank leaned back down against his pillows, closed his eyes, and drifted back to sleep, certain his mind will this time be clear.
You’re sitting in a car this time, you’re alone, you’re waiting. You can see your Father standing at the counter in the store so you know he won’t be much longer, you just wish he’d hurry up already. You crank up the music you’re blaring in your ears to make you deaf already. You lose track of your Father for a few moments as he starts to leave the store.
Then you look, see the front door opening, his wide, proud smile is aimed at you and you aim an identical one back at him and wave frantically. You’re so happy to see your Dad, because you love him so much.
He opens the front door and then you feel something in the air. As he leans over his seat to place the bags in the back a man steps up behind him, pulls a shiny new gun, places against the back of your Father’s own head and then your own door is opened and you are yanked from the seat a gun pressed to your head as well.
You stare over the top of the car to your Father, who is now standing up straight and looking at you. You can see the man behind your Father, see his lips moving, but you cannot hear what he says.
The next few seconds slow down so that they will forever etch themselves in your still innocent mind. The man behind your Father looks at you, into your eyes and you memorize his face forever. Then your Father looks at you and smiles again though it is not the same beaming one from before, it is a shaky, scared one. “I love you Frankie-boy!”
“I love you too Daddy,” you say and your Father’s eyes leave yours, move to the man behind you and then back to yours.
Then you hear a click and a soft hiss type sound and you have blood plastered over your face. You’re thrown to the ground and the two men run. You lay on the ground and stare at the body that lies across from you, on the other side of the car.
You can feel the blood that covers your body sliding down your skin. You reach your hand out under the car towards your Father. “Daddy?” You whimper softly hoping he’ll tell you it’s okay like he always does.
Then suddenly your Father’s hand grabs yours, only, it’s just bone and it begins to pull you towards the body of your Father.
You begin to scream again.
Lance has just shown Kai to the door after fighting with him about Frank when he hears Frank’s screams split the air again. He’s by his best friend’s side in seconds, once again shaking him awake and clinging to him as he sobs, this time more intensely than before.
That night Lance and Frank fall asleep curled tightly together, so close that you really can’t tell where one begins and the other ends. It will be the first of many.
Title: The Fear
Author: my_life_myway33
Theme(s): 004.Lost
Pairing: Frank Iero/Lance Bass
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,699
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me but the words written.
Author Notes: Written for 30_memories prompt.
Past Parts: 019. Please forget about me...
001.Ten Years Ago...
You’re staring down at the hole in the ground. It’s all you can look at. Your eyes can’t move away from it. You know there are some fifty odd people standing around you, but all you can see is the hole in the ground. The hole where someone is about to be put, about to be lost in.
You are suddenly compelled to walk to the very edge of the hole. You stand with your toes just barely edging over the side while the rest of your feet are firmly on the ground. You look down.
The hole is dark and never ending. You try to find the end, but all you see is darkness going farther and farther and farther down. You bend down very carefully and get onto your knees next to the hole and you continue to stare. You’re ruining the pants of your best suit, but you need to find the bottom of the hole. You’re father is about to be put in there, if there is no end, he’ll never land.
You reach to your side and pick up a stone; you feel it for a few moments. The stone is smooth against the pads of your fingers, you will forever remember the way that specific stone felt against your fingers and you will forever try to find another stone with the same feeling.
You will never find it.
You raise your hand up slowly then even slower hover your hand over the hole. You turn your hand over, open your fingers, and the stone hangs for a split second in your hand before it drops. You suck in your breath and hold it. You wait for the sound of the stone hitting the bottom.
You will never hear it.
After what feels like hours you shift around again, back up a little bit so that you can fit your tiny, eight-year-old hands on the edge of the hole now. Once you’re in position you lean over to look better into the hole.
Then without warning there is a hand reaching out to you slowly, inviting you to take it. You’re scared now. How is there a hand when there is no bottom?
You quickly begin to get to your feet and you manage it, you turn around, but just as you are about to step away from the hole and run, the hand, which is now just bones, grabs your ankle and you begin a tug of war for your life.
You scream, but there is no sound. You yank your foot trying to get it out of the grip of the bone-hand with no luck.
Then the hand begins to pull you towards the hole. You fall to the ground and you begin to grasp for a grip to hold onto, still screaming with no sound. You know you’re screaming, because it’s making your throat hurt, but why is there no sound? Why can you not hear it?
The bone-hand just continues to pull you into the hole and by now you’re griping onto the very edge of the endless hole by just your fingers. You don’t want to go down that hole. It’s where you’re Dad is supposed to go, not you.
Then suddenly your Dad is next to you too, being dragged towards the hole as well. You’re Dad screams your name and you hear it and you scream his name, but you don’t hear it. You both reach out to grip onto the other and to save yourselves.
Your Dad lets go and he is lost to the dark. You take a harder grip onto the edge, now screaming for your Dad and still not being heard. You start to fight the hand harder and you actually start to win. You’re beginning to pull yourself back up.
You will lose the battle.
The earth below your hands suddenly gives way under you and you’re pulled into the bottomless hole. Now you’re screaming even louder as you fall into the darkness.
Lance jerked awake to the loud screams of his roommate. He jumped out of the bed and dashed for the room down the hall. He doesn’t even remember that he’s naked, because that night he’d gotten lucky; he’s just worried about his best friend.
Lance slams the door open and lunges for the bed and shakes his friend hard to wake him up. “Frank! Frank! Come on Frank it’s just a dream!”
Frank jerks awake still screaming and shoves hard at Lance, sending both of them flying off the bed on opposite sides. Both men land with loud thumps on the cold wooden floor, Frank still screaming.
Lance quickly jumps back to his feet and rushes to Frank’s side. “Frank it was just a dream, calm down. It’s okay, it’s over now.” Lance begins to rock Frank slowly and stroke his hair to calm him.
Once Frank finally realizes he isn’t falling into a hole that will never end, he breaks like he always does. He sobs hard into Lance’s bare chest while his entire body shakes violently. The dream that he has only comes to him a couple times a year now, but it still shakes him to his very core.
Lance picks Frank up and sets them both on the bed again and waits for his friend to calm down. He just waits it out, because he knows it’s the only thing he can do. He’s been dealing with Frank’s nightmares for years now, so he just waits.
At last Frank begins to calm down and curl into Lance. Lance lies back on the bed and gets situated, “Same dream?” he asks softly and Frank nods. “Was your dad there?”
“Yeah,” Frank gulps thinking of the way his father had looked.
Frank had begun to have the dream a week after he’d watched his Dad get lowered into the ground when he was eight. It wasn’t so much that he was afraid of death or graves, it was simply that he was scared of what happened after death. He still searched for a satisfying answer as to what happened, but had yet to find it.
“Lance?!” Kai, Lance’s boyfriend, called from down the hall.
It was then that Lance realized he was still naked, in bed, with Frank, who also happened to be naked. He sighed and shifted about again and decided to just ignore Kai for now.
Frank however wasn’t going to let that happen, he looked up at Lance and tilted his head towards the door, “Go ahead, I’m fine.”
“You sure?” Lance asked looking down at his best friend.
Frank nodded and sat up, “Yeah, I’m okay now. Thanks.”
Lance sat up too and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, “Just call if you need me okay?” Lance leaned over and pressed his palm to Frank’s cheek, “Promise?”
Frank nodded and smiled, “Always do.” They leaned into each other and kissed really quickly, a “friendly” kiss before Lance left to deal with his boyfriend.
Frank leaned back down against his pillows, closed his eyes, and drifted back to sleep, certain his mind will this time be clear.
You’re sitting in a car this time, you’re alone, you’re waiting. You can see your Father standing at the counter in the store so you know he won’t be much longer, you just wish he’d hurry up already. You crank up the music you’re blaring in your ears to make you deaf already. You lose track of your Father for a few moments as he starts to leave the store.
Then you look, see the front door opening, his wide, proud smile is aimed at you and you aim an identical one back at him and wave frantically. You’re so happy to see your Dad, because you love him so much.
He opens the front door and then you feel something in the air. As he leans over his seat to place the bags in the back a man steps up behind him, pulls a shiny new gun, places against the back of your Father’s own head and then your own door is opened and you are yanked from the seat a gun pressed to your head as well.
You stare over the top of the car to your Father, who is now standing up straight and looking at you. You can see the man behind your Father, see his lips moving, but you cannot hear what he says.
The next few seconds slow down so that they will forever etch themselves in your still innocent mind. The man behind your Father looks at you, into your eyes and you memorize his face forever. Then your Father looks at you and smiles again though it is not the same beaming one from before, it is a shaky, scared one. “I love you Frankie-boy!”
“I love you too Daddy,” you say and your Father’s eyes leave yours, move to the man behind you and then back to yours.
Then you hear a click and a soft hiss type sound and you have blood plastered over your face. You’re thrown to the ground and the two men run. You lay on the ground and stare at the body that lies across from you, on the other side of the car.
You can feel the blood that covers your body sliding down your skin. You reach your hand out under the car towards your Father. “Daddy?” You whimper softly hoping he’ll tell you it’s okay like he always does.
Then suddenly your Father’s hand grabs yours, only, it’s just bone and it begins to pull you towards the body of your Father.
You begin to scream again.
Lance has just shown Kai to the door after fighting with him about Frank when he hears Frank’s screams split the air again. He’s by his best friend’s side in seconds, once again shaking him awake and clinging to him as he sobs, this time more intensely than before.
That night Lance and Frank fall asleep curled tightly together, so close that you really can’t tell where one begins and the other ends. It will be the first of many.