The Plus Side of ED - Parts 1-5/?
Title: The Plus side of ED
Author: mcrdrugist
Pairing: Frerard
Rating: NC-17
POV:Gerard
Summary: Gerard suffers from Erectile Dysfunction. Frank is a sex therapist. Frerard ensues.
Disclaimer: Fake.
Warnings: I have 20 chapters of this posted over at Mibba. I will post it in 5 part chunks until I'm all caught up over here.
One
Gerard's POV
I ran through the calendar in my head trying to remember the last time I had sex. Needless to say it had been a while. I'd say at least five months. You might be wondering why I need to be thinking about this in the first place. Will to be honest it is kind of embarrassing. You see I can't get it up.
The last time I had sex it was a one night stand. I don't even remember the guy’s name. I am trying to figure out anything that could be the cause of me not being able to get aroused. To be honest I haven't had any sexual urges in the past couple months. God I hope I don't have an STD. I don't have any symptoms that would point to something of that nature. It has gotten to the point that even gay porn won’t do anything for me.
At the moment I was parking the car in the parking lot across from the doctor’s office. I hated these kinds of places they were always so clean and sterile.
I walked in and the receptionist told me to fill out a form with my symptoms. God this is so embarrassing. I wrote them in the most discreet way possible and handed it back.
After waiting around 15 minutes in the waiting room, my name was called. I stood up and followed the nurse into a room towards the back of the building. Once in, the nurse took my vitals and all that shit. She then told me the doctor would be in momentarily.
Through the open door of my room I saw a doctor administer a shot to a three your old. I cringed as the needle pierced the skin and the toddler began to cry. Quickly the doctor handed her a green lollipop and she stopped. Wouldn't it be great if all life's problems could be solved so easily?
A knock sounded at my door and I took a deep breath preparing myself for anything. This doctor always made me feel awkward. I had had him since I was a teenager. It seemed like he knew everything about me. Plus he had a terrible mustache that I just wanted to rip off.
"So what have we got going on Gerard?" He asked me, in a voice you would use on a five year old.
I explained my problem, most likely blushing like a new bride the whole time. He listened and nodded his head in the appropriate places. Once I was done he nodded one last time.
He asked me some questions about my sex life which I stumbled my way through. After his curiosity was satisfied he began his diagnosis.
"I think what you have Gerard, is a simple case of Erectile Dysfunction," he said, quite calmly.
"I have what?!" I asked indignantly. I guess I don't remember everything from eighth grade health.
"ED is simply the inability for a man to get sexually aroused."
"Well... How do I fix that doc?" I asked, sarcasm dripping with every word.
"Ohh there are many ways, medication is the usual route, but I would like to try something new with you if you don't mind."
"What?" I asked, curiosity seeping into my voice.
"We just hired a sex therapist; I think you should make an appointment with him before you try meds,” he said pulling out a business card he handed it to me and I read it.
Frank Iero
129-1324
Hours 12PM-5PM Monday-Saturday
Closed Sunday
"Call tomorrow and make an appointment, if it doesn't work out come back here in a week and I will prescribe something," he said walking me out the door.
I left the doctor’s office relieved, but apprehensive. Would this all work out? Little did I know I had gotten myself into something much deeper.
Two
I can't believe I am going to be late to my first appointment - with my sex therapist no less. It had been three days since my visit to the doctor. Last night I called Dr. Iero, he said since I would be a new patient he wanted to set up an appointment right away. He said this first one would just be so we could meet and talk about my issues - get comfortable with each other, so to speak. Then after that we could set up a real appointment and get down to the real problems. Hanging up we had agreed to meet for our appointment today at 10:00am.
Currently I was in the shower, and the clock was already ticking its way towards 10:30. Jumping out I ran into my bedroom - thanking God that my roommate had moved out months ago - and opened my closet. What to wear, what to wear? I hadn't done laundry in a couple weeks, needless to say nothing was clean. Picking up a pair of dark blue jeans I threw them on the bed. Finding my old school Iron Maiden shirt I sniffed the arm holes and cringed - hoping the bottle of Fabreeze I had in the closet would cover the stench. Looking under the bed I found a - somewhat - clean pair of boxers, and threw it all on.
Stepping out of my apartment smelling of fresh linen I smiled. It was a nice day! I could only hope it would stay that way. I hailed a cab and gave the cabbie my destinations address. Dr. Iero sounded nice enough on the phone yesterday, but that still didn't put me at ease. This was going to be embarrassing, no doubt. I mean talking to someone you hardly know about things you've never been comfortable talking to anyone about. How would you like it?
Driving the 25 blocks to Dr. Iero’s office I tried not to think about anything involving my sex life. My plan was just to let things happen when they happened. I would answer his questions and try not to let them bother me too much. Whilst I was lost in my thoughts the car came to a stop. Once I noticed I handed the cabbie a 20$ and a 10$ and told him to keep the change.
His office was on the eighth floor. I bypassed the elevator and started up the stairs. I didn't have many fears but I was a tiny bit claustrophobic. I took the stairs two at a time, being as I was already almost an hour late. I suppose on some subconscious level I was delaying myself on purpose. I guess it didn't really matter 'cause once I entered the office I was the only one there.
The secretary gave me a look like I couldn't compare to the dog shit on her shoes. So me being me returned said look. She looked like some pompous bitch that sucked her car dealer’s cock and then kissed her husband when she got home.
"Are you Gerard Way?" She sneered.
"Yes," I said with just as much malice.
"Your late so you'll just have to reschedule - remember our missed appointment policy two more and -" She was cut off.
"It's fine Missy, we will just let this one slide." A male voice sounded behind me.
I turned and smiled. Dr. Iero sure didn't look like I doctor. When I talked to him I imagined a tall clean cut family man. He was far from it, but I wasn't complaining. He was shorter than me and had at least one visible tattoo on his neck: it looked like a scorpion. It looked as if he was trying to grow his hair out, it was shaggy and slightly unkempt, but suited him nonetheless.
"You must be Gerard?" He asked walking towards me and grabbing my hand.
"Missy this is my last appointment for the day so you can go. This way Gerard," he said looking at each of us in turn.
He took me into a room. It looked a lot like my regular therapist’s room. There were two chairs with a table in between them on one wall, and a couch on the other. In the corner was a desk with a computer and a pad of paper on it. There were no pictures of girlfriends or children on his desk, not that I cared of course. I sat in the chair closest to his desk and sighed. He sat down at his desk and pulled out what I assumed to be my file.
"Alright, first I am Dr. Iero, but please call me Frank," he said shaking my hand again. "Now first off like all doctors we have to sign a patient/doctor confidentiality record," he said handing me a sheet of paper.
It was essentially the same thing my shrink handed me my first visit to him.
"As you know, I will only go for outside help if I feel you are in harm of yourself or others," he informed me as I signed the paper.
I handed him the sheet and he signed it before placing it back into my file.
"Alright Gerard, first off I want you to feel as comfortable as possible, I know that can be hard considering what you are here for. So please if you are uncomfortable with any of my questions just tell me and I won’t ask again." I nodded to let him know I was listening and had understood him. "Second of all there will be some things that I will ask you to do outside of our sessions - homework per say - and just like high school I expect it to be done and on time. If there aren’t any questions I'd like to start."
I guess my silence told him everything so he began.
"Alright in sex therapy we put people in three groups: can't get it up, can't get it in, and can't be bothered. Which one are you Gerard?"
"Can't get it up," I mumbled with no enthusiasm.
"Alright, so at least we already have that established, next question why do you think you are having this problem?"
I stayed silent not knowing what to say. God this was worse than I thought. I am sure the heat radiating of my face was enough to heat this whole building. Instead of answering I kept my eyes on my shoes and waited for the next question.
"Alright Gerard how about this, are you confused about your sexuality?" He asked in a quiet voice, trying to make me feel comfortable.
"No," I whispered wishing I was anywhere but here.
"No what, Gerard?" He asked probing me for a more specific answer.
"I mean I'm gay, have been for years," I clarified.
He didn't look that surprised, which made me wonder if I was really that obvious. Then again maybe he was gay and had some weird gaydar. I cut that line of thought off right away.
"Good finally more than a one word answer. When you say years do you mean you have never wavered in you sexuality?" He asked going deeper into the line of questioning.
"Well I started bisexual, but I always ended up with men so I cut out women altogether."
"Alright Gerard, one more are you sexually involved with anyone now?"
"Nope," I whispered trying not to sound desperate.
"Alright, this was pretty good for a first appointment, when is a good time to pencil you in for another?"
We discussed days and finally decided on one next week. I walked out of his office before he called me back.
"Gerard I have some homework for you, I want you to write a list of reasons you think you are having this problem and bring it to me next week."
I nodded and walked towards the stairs. Breathing a sigh of relief, because I survived my first sex therapy appointment! I could only hope that my problems would be solved soon, 'cause I don't know how long I could stay alone in that room with that man without doing/saying something to make me look like a jackass.
Three
I stared at the lined paper, hoping that my glare could evoke ink to magically appear on the unmarked sheet in front of me.
It was 10:00pm, and my second appointment was in 12 hours. Of course I had put my 'homework' off until the last minute, and was now scrambling to put something together. I have an excuse though, as usual, I thought it would be easy, but it’s not! I have been sitting here for the better part of an hour, and there was still nothing on the damned paper.
Why do I think I have this problem? I asked myself desperately seeking an answer.
My dearest brother, Mikey, found out about my problem. Needless to say he has been making fun of me mercilessly ever since. Of course he would never know the things I was going through. He had a boyfriend, fiancé in fact. Mikey was happy, and in love.
Maybe that was why I was having problems... I was afraid of commitment, but most of all I was afraid of falling in love. That combined with my abandonment issues all made sense...
~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~
I dressed, and slipped the piece of paper from last night into my back pocket. I walked out of my apartment, locking the door, and walked down the three flights of steps, smiling because for once I would be early!
The cab ride was long and boring; as the cabbie drove away I stepped onto the sidewalk and sighed. I felt a little better about today’s appointment. At least Dr. Iero was nice, and I felt like I could talk to him. It still didn't mean it wouldn't be awkward though.
When I walked into the office Missy the secretary glared. I hadn't even said two words to her and I already hated her. I smirked and signed in. Dr. Iero, Frank he told me to call him, was in with another couple and would be ready for me shortly.
When the couple finally came out they looked like they could kill each other. For their sakes I hoped that they would be driving home separately. This was exactly why I was afraid of commitment. You just ended up getting fucked over in the end.
"Come on back Gerard," he said stepping back into his office.
I walked in and sat down in the same chair I did last week. Frank looked me over and sat as well.
"So do you have my homework?" He asked.
"Yeah, just a sec." I stood up, reaching in my back pocket.
Shit it wasn't there! It must have fallen out in the cab. I told Frank the exact same thing.
"Am I gonna have to punish you already, Gerard?" He asked jokingly.
Suddenly my cock came to life. The words he just uttered got me erect. This was so fucking wrong, I had a hard on, for my sex therapist no less. I had mixed feelings though, at least now I know it still works!
I sat and gave him a look that said sorry.
"I'll let it slide this time, just don't let it happen again," he said. "So why do you think you have this problem?"
I went on to tell him about my abandonment issues, and my fears of falling in love, and commitment. He listened attentively and nodded at different times. I was surprised at how easily the words were flowing off my tongue and through my lips. It kind of felt good to get my sexual frustrations off my chest, and know it would be confidential.
Once I stopped he started in with some questions of his own.
"This is personal, but it will help. Have you masturbated lately?" He asked.
I shook my head. I thought it was going so well too. Now I was back into that embarrassed, blushing stage.
"Alright, tonight I want you to try some self pleasure. I'm not talking about a quick wank either. You need to learn what your body likes, explore yourself," he said. "I think that is it, are we on for next week?"
I nodded, still blushing, and stood up.
"Yeah that would be great," I said shaking his hand.
I walked out of his office, and sighed once again. It was going to be a long week.
Four
I decided to walk back home from the appointment. I really needed to clear my head. My erection had gone down, but that tight unexplainable feeling was still left in the pit of my stomach. After four months of getting absolutely nothing from down there, why would my sex therapist do it for me!? He gave me a fuckin' hard on. Now that's irony if you ask me. So much for clearing my head....
There was no doubt that Dr. Frank Iero was hot, but why was I so physically attracted to him? Especially when no one else could do it for me? The only thing I could pin it on was his looks. I hadn't known him enough to think that it was his personality or something. Maybe part of it was the forbidden lust aspect of it. Who didn't want a little danger? Plus, although I would never get any tattoo's or piercings’ his where a major turn on.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of forbidden lust I walked past my apartment building. I sighed at my own absence of mind, and decided to walk down the next block to get some carry out. A little something from Hibachi San seemed like it could solve all my problems just about now.
***************
I lay in bed focusing entirely on myself. I had finished my dinner a couple hours ago and had tried to distract myself from what I had to do. My homework was hard, and not in the good way it was supposed to be. No matter what I just couldn't seem to get myself going.
I tried teasing myself; I even imagined my sexcapades with past lovers. When those didn't work I just shoved my hand into my boxers and grabbed myself. Have you ever tried fisting a wet noodle?! I've got news for you, it doesn't fucking work!
Dr. Iero, I cringed when my stomach bubbled with excitement at just the thought of his name, said I needed to get to know my body again. Maybe I should go back to basics.
I sighed and stood from my bed, walking to my closet. It had full length mirrors on the doors, and I stood before them. I looked at myself. I was pathetic! A twenty something year old who can't get it up. This was ridiculous. I was gonna get off tonight no matter what.
I pushed the waistband of my boxers down over my thighs and let them fall to my feet. I stepped out of them and, kicked them in the direction of my bed. I looked at myself in the mirror, then grabbed myself at the base. I began trying to pump, which as stated earlier doesn't work too well when you have a limp cock. I closed my eyes and closed out any distractions, focusing on only my body.
I felt something trailing down my neck. Almost like lips? No, not possible. I snapped open my eyes, and there he was. Frank Iero in all his glory, he was standing behind me placing small open mouthed kisses on my neck and shoulders. I could feel his obvious arousal pressed against my ass. For the second time in four months I was rock hard.
I didn't ask any questions, just watched through the mirror. His arms snuck between mine and he put his hands on my hips. He pulled me back to him, grinding his erection against my ass. I bit my tongue trying not to make noise; I didn't want to ruin the moment. He brought his hand to my lower abdomen, and his lips to my ear. Ever so slowly he began rubbing small circles on my stomach, just above the dark coarse hair that led to better places.
"I am gonna make you feel so fucking good," he whispered in my ear, grinding himself against me. "Can you feel that? Do you want it?"
I could only nod as his hand traveled up my chest to my nipples. He began flicking them, and rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. The sensations in my body were amazing. I was hotter than I had ever been. He kept one hand on my stomach, and the other disappeared behind me.
The first noises of pleasure left my throat as two spit covered fingers entered me. Our eyes met in the mirror and I nodded at his silent question of continuing. His fingers slid almost all the way out, then he thrust them back in hard and fast. I moaned again as his fingers raked across the flesh of my abdomen leaving red tracks in their path that would later be scratch marks.
All I could do was stand there with my head tilted back to rest on his shoulder, pleading for more with every moan. At one point I tried to grab my throbbing, aching cock, but he just slapped my hand away. His fingers slipped completely out of me, and I glared at him through the mirror. He only smirked.
"I’m gonna fuck you so hard," he whispered, biting the lobe of my ear.
Frank Iero, if anything, was a man of his word. He positioned his cock at my entrance and thrust in deep. I strained my neck back towards his shoulder and moaned. He set up a fast, hard pace, and I knew I wouldn't last long. His hands held my hips hard keeping both of us on balance, I was sure there would be bruises. Such minuscule thoughts were pushed from my mind when he found my prostate. I literally screamed in pleasure.
Frankie smirked and pulled out, repositioning himself. "Right there?" He asked thrusting in hard and fast and hitting my spot directly.
I closed my eyes focusing all my energy on grinding myself back on him. By this time we were both sweating. The only sounds that could be heard were our moans. And the wet sound of skin on skin contact as his balls slapped against my ass with every thrust.
"Open your eyes, watch me bring you to orgasm," he ordered biting down on my neck.
I opened my eyes at his command, and moaned once again. He looked so fucking hot. He was sweating; his lip was caught between his teeth as he moved himself in and out of me. Our eyes connected in the mirror again as his left hand trailed down to my throbbing arousal. When he reached it, it was already slick with precum, and he had no problem pumping me along with his thrust.
He looked at me through the mirror and whispered. "Come."
I didn't have to be told twice. I bit my lip and closed my eyes letting out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush. He shot his load into me, and I shot mine into his hand. I could feel his and mine dripping down my thighs and mixing together.
I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror. I was the only one standing there. I blushed at my wanton position. I had one hand stretched behind me, fingers still moving in and out of myself. My other hand was at my side, cum dripping off the tips of my fingers. Much like the come trailing down the inside of my thighs.
"Shit!" I breathed out.
I had succumbed to my darkest fantasy. I now knew I had to get the real thing. I sighed and walked to the shower. Stepping in I sighed again, how was I ever gonna make it through my next appointment?
Five
I cleaned off in the shower trying not to close my eyes. For every time I did the back of my eyelids became a movie screen, and projected were thrusting hips and crushing lips.
I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted the real thing, In fact I was pretty sure I needed to have him. It wasn’t that I wanted a serious relationship with him. The only thing I truly felt I needed from him was something purely physical. Now all I needed was a plan…
First thing I needed was a good night’s rest. I could only hope sleep wouldn’t evade me. I didn’t think I could handle anymore dirty dreams of a certain sex therapist. I tossed and turned knowing that if I closed my eyes images of my darkest fantasies would haunt me. So much for a good night’s sleep.
Somehow I managed to sleep, but when I woke, was still tired. I made a bowl of fruit loops and sat myself down at the computer
It was amazing the kinds of things you could find on the Internet. For example I now knew his address and even his middle name.
I was surprised to learn that he lived about seven blocks away from me. It probably seems like I am becoming one of those creepy stalker guys, but I’m not I swear! I just needed to make a few things official. For fucks sake I didn't even know if he liked cock or not. Okay so maybe I’m a little stalker-ish.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I rushed to clean myself up. Dr. Iero’s office had called. My appointment had been moved from tomorrow, Saturday, to today. Today as in like 20 minutes from now. There had been a cancellation so they were able to move me up a day.
I walked into the waiting room, and gave a sarcastic smile to the bitchy receptionist. I sat and waited nearly 10 minutes before Dr. Iero exited his office, with a couple. The couple looked like they were happy.
“Gerard you’re here, good you can wait in my office I am gonna walk them to the lobby,” he said smiling.
I nodded and walked through the all too familiar door into his small office. I tried not to snoop, I really did. I guess curiosity really did kill the cat.
On his desk there was a date book. It was a really nice leather bound one with gold leaf lettering on the cover. I walked to his desk and gingerly picked it up flipping it to today’s date, Friday, January 11th.
Written in dark scrappy writing was the words Pink Flamingo; 9:00. I smiled Pink Flamingo was one of the most well known gay clubs in New York. Maybe Dr. Frank Iero was batting for my team after all…
Quickly I put the book back on his desk and sat down. Minutes later he walked back in with a smile. In that time I had formulated the perfect plan…
Author: mcrdrugist
Pairing: Frerard
Rating: NC-17
POV:Gerard
Summary: Gerard suffers from Erectile Dysfunction. Frank is a sex therapist. Frerard ensues.
Disclaimer: Fake.
Warnings: I have 20 chapters of this posted over at Mibba. I will post it in 5 part chunks until I'm all caught up over here.
One
Gerard's POV
I ran through the calendar in my head trying to remember the last time I had sex. Needless to say it had been a while. I'd say at least five months. You might be wondering why I need to be thinking about this in the first place. Will to be honest it is kind of embarrassing. You see I can't get it up.
The last time I had sex it was a one night stand. I don't even remember the guy’s name. I am trying to figure out anything that could be the cause of me not being able to get aroused. To be honest I haven't had any sexual urges in the past couple months. God I hope I don't have an STD. I don't have any symptoms that would point to something of that nature. It has gotten to the point that even gay porn won’t do anything for me.
At the moment I was parking the car in the parking lot across from the doctor’s office. I hated these kinds of places they were always so clean and sterile.
I walked in and the receptionist told me to fill out a form with my symptoms. God this is so embarrassing. I wrote them in the most discreet way possible and handed it back.
After waiting around 15 minutes in the waiting room, my name was called. I stood up and followed the nurse into a room towards the back of the building. Once in, the nurse took my vitals and all that shit. She then told me the doctor would be in momentarily.
Through the open door of my room I saw a doctor administer a shot to a three your old. I cringed as the needle pierced the skin and the toddler began to cry. Quickly the doctor handed her a green lollipop and she stopped. Wouldn't it be great if all life's problems could be solved so easily?
A knock sounded at my door and I took a deep breath preparing myself for anything. This doctor always made me feel awkward. I had had him since I was a teenager. It seemed like he knew everything about me. Plus he had a terrible mustache that I just wanted to rip off.
"So what have we got going on Gerard?" He asked me, in a voice you would use on a five year old.
I explained my problem, most likely blushing like a new bride the whole time. He listened and nodded his head in the appropriate places. Once I was done he nodded one last time.
He asked me some questions about my sex life which I stumbled my way through. After his curiosity was satisfied he began his diagnosis.
"I think what you have Gerard, is a simple case of Erectile Dysfunction," he said, quite calmly.
"I have what?!" I asked indignantly. I guess I don't remember everything from eighth grade health.
"ED is simply the inability for a man to get sexually aroused."
"Well... How do I fix that doc?" I asked, sarcasm dripping with every word.
"Ohh there are many ways, medication is the usual route, but I would like to try something new with you if you don't mind."
"What?" I asked, curiosity seeping into my voice.
"We just hired a sex therapist; I think you should make an appointment with him before you try meds,” he said pulling out a business card he handed it to me and I read it.
Frank Iero
129-1324
Hours 12PM-5PM Monday-Saturday
Closed Sunday
"Call tomorrow and make an appointment, if it doesn't work out come back here in a week and I will prescribe something," he said walking me out the door.
I left the doctor’s office relieved, but apprehensive. Would this all work out? Little did I know I had gotten myself into something much deeper.
Two
I can't believe I am going to be late to my first appointment - with my sex therapist no less. It had been three days since my visit to the doctor. Last night I called Dr. Iero, he said since I would be a new patient he wanted to set up an appointment right away. He said this first one would just be so we could meet and talk about my issues - get comfortable with each other, so to speak. Then after that we could set up a real appointment and get down to the real problems. Hanging up we had agreed to meet for our appointment today at 10:00am.
Currently I was in the shower, and the clock was already ticking its way towards 10:30. Jumping out I ran into my bedroom - thanking God that my roommate had moved out months ago - and opened my closet. What to wear, what to wear? I hadn't done laundry in a couple weeks, needless to say nothing was clean. Picking up a pair of dark blue jeans I threw them on the bed. Finding my old school Iron Maiden shirt I sniffed the arm holes and cringed - hoping the bottle of Fabreeze I had in the closet would cover the stench. Looking under the bed I found a - somewhat - clean pair of boxers, and threw it all on.
Stepping out of my apartment smelling of fresh linen I smiled. It was a nice day! I could only hope it would stay that way. I hailed a cab and gave the cabbie my destinations address. Dr. Iero sounded nice enough on the phone yesterday, but that still didn't put me at ease. This was going to be embarrassing, no doubt. I mean talking to someone you hardly know about things you've never been comfortable talking to anyone about. How would you like it?
Driving the 25 blocks to Dr. Iero’s office I tried not to think about anything involving my sex life. My plan was just to let things happen when they happened. I would answer his questions and try not to let them bother me too much. Whilst I was lost in my thoughts the car came to a stop. Once I noticed I handed the cabbie a 20$ and a 10$ and told him to keep the change.
His office was on the eighth floor. I bypassed the elevator and started up the stairs. I didn't have many fears but I was a tiny bit claustrophobic. I took the stairs two at a time, being as I was already almost an hour late. I suppose on some subconscious level I was delaying myself on purpose. I guess it didn't really matter 'cause once I entered the office I was the only one there.
The secretary gave me a look like I couldn't compare to the dog shit on her shoes. So me being me returned said look. She looked like some pompous bitch that sucked her car dealer’s cock and then kissed her husband when she got home.
"Are you Gerard Way?" She sneered.
"Yes," I said with just as much malice.
"Your late so you'll just have to reschedule - remember our missed appointment policy two more and -" She was cut off.
"It's fine Missy, we will just let this one slide." A male voice sounded behind me.
I turned and smiled. Dr. Iero sure didn't look like I doctor. When I talked to him I imagined a tall clean cut family man. He was far from it, but I wasn't complaining. He was shorter than me and had at least one visible tattoo on his neck: it looked like a scorpion. It looked as if he was trying to grow his hair out, it was shaggy and slightly unkempt, but suited him nonetheless.
"You must be Gerard?" He asked walking towards me and grabbing my hand.
"Missy this is my last appointment for the day so you can go. This way Gerard," he said looking at each of us in turn.
He took me into a room. It looked a lot like my regular therapist’s room. There were two chairs with a table in between them on one wall, and a couch on the other. In the corner was a desk with a computer and a pad of paper on it. There were no pictures of girlfriends or children on his desk, not that I cared of course. I sat in the chair closest to his desk and sighed. He sat down at his desk and pulled out what I assumed to be my file.
"Alright, first I am Dr. Iero, but please call me Frank," he said shaking my hand again. "Now first off like all doctors we have to sign a patient/doctor confidentiality record," he said handing me a sheet of paper.
It was essentially the same thing my shrink handed me my first visit to him.
"As you know, I will only go for outside help if I feel you are in harm of yourself or others," he informed me as I signed the paper.
I handed him the sheet and he signed it before placing it back into my file.
"Alright Gerard, first off I want you to feel as comfortable as possible, I know that can be hard considering what you are here for. So please if you are uncomfortable with any of my questions just tell me and I won’t ask again." I nodded to let him know I was listening and had understood him. "Second of all there will be some things that I will ask you to do outside of our sessions - homework per say - and just like high school I expect it to be done and on time. If there aren’t any questions I'd like to start."
I guess my silence told him everything so he began.
"Alright in sex therapy we put people in three groups: can't get it up, can't get it in, and can't be bothered. Which one are you Gerard?"
"Can't get it up," I mumbled with no enthusiasm.
"Alright, so at least we already have that established, next question why do you think you are having this problem?"
I stayed silent not knowing what to say. God this was worse than I thought. I am sure the heat radiating of my face was enough to heat this whole building. Instead of answering I kept my eyes on my shoes and waited for the next question.
"Alright Gerard how about this, are you confused about your sexuality?" He asked in a quiet voice, trying to make me feel comfortable.
"No," I whispered wishing I was anywhere but here.
"No what, Gerard?" He asked probing me for a more specific answer.
"I mean I'm gay, have been for years," I clarified.
He didn't look that surprised, which made me wonder if I was really that obvious. Then again maybe he was gay and had some weird gaydar. I cut that line of thought off right away.
"Good finally more than a one word answer. When you say years do you mean you have never wavered in you sexuality?" He asked going deeper into the line of questioning.
"Well I started bisexual, but I always ended up with men so I cut out women altogether."
"Alright Gerard, one more are you sexually involved with anyone now?"
"Nope," I whispered trying not to sound desperate.
"Alright, this was pretty good for a first appointment, when is a good time to pencil you in for another?"
We discussed days and finally decided on one next week. I walked out of his office before he called me back.
"Gerard I have some homework for you, I want you to write a list of reasons you think you are having this problem and bring it to me next week."
I nodded and walked towards the stairs. Breathing a sigh of relief, because I survived my first sex therapy appointment! I could only hope that my problems would be solved soon, 'cause I don't know how long I could stay alone in that room with that man without doing/saying something to make me look like a jackass.
Three
I stared at the lined paper, hoping that my glare could evoke ink to magically appear on the unmarked sheet in front of me.
It was 10:00pm, and my second appointment was in 12 hours. Of course I had put my 'homework' off until the last minute, and was now scrambling to put something together. I have an excuse though, as usual, I thought it would be easy, but it’s not! I have been sitting here for the better part of an hour, and there was still nothing on the damned paper.
Why do I think I have this problem? I asked myself desperately seeking an answer.
My dearest brother, Mikey, found out about my problem. Needless to say he has been making fun of me mercilessly ever since. Of course he would never know the things I was going through. He had a boyfriend, fiancé in fact. Mikey was happy, and in love.
Maybe that was why I was having problems... I was afraid of commitment, but most of all I was afraid of falling in love. That combined with my abandonment issues all made sense...
~ ! ~ ! ~ ! ~
I dressed, and slipped the piece of paper from last night into my back pocket. I walked out of my apartment, locking the door, and walked down the three flights of steps, smiling because for once I would be early!
The cab ride was long and boring; as the cabbie drove away I stepped onto the sidewalk and sighed. I felt a little better about today’s appointment. At least Dr. Iero was nice, and I felt like I could talk to him. It still didn't mean it wouldn't be awkward though.
When I walked into the office Missy the secretary glared. I hadn't even said two words to her and I already hated her. I smirked and signed in. Dr. Iero, Frank he told me to call him, was in with another couple and would be ready for me shortly.
When the couple finally came out they looked like they could kill each other. For their sakes I hoped that they would be driving home separately. This was exactly why I was afraid of commitment. You just ended up getting fucked over in the end.
"Come on back Gerard," he said stepping back into his office.
I walked in and sat down in the same chair I did last week. Frank looked me over and sat as well.
"So do you have my homework?" He asked.
"Yeah, just a sec." I stood up, reaching in my back pocket.
Shit it wasn't there! It must have fallen out in the cab. I told Frank the exact same thing.
"Am I gonna have to punish you already, Gerard?" He asked jokingly.
Suddenly my cock came to life. The words he just uttered got me erect. This was so fucking wrong, I had a hard on, for my sex therapist no less. I had mixed feelings though, at least now I know it still works!
I sat and gave him a look that said sorry.
"I'll let it slide this time, just don't let it happen again," he said. "So why do you think you have this problem?"
I went on to tell him about my abandonment issues, and my fears of falling in love, and commitment. He listened attentively and nodded at different times. I was surprised at how easily the words were flowing off my tongue and through my lips. It kind of felt good to get my sexual frustrations off my chest, and know it would be confidential.
Once I stopped he started in with some questions of his own.
"This is personal, but it will help. Have you masturbated lately?" He asked.
I shook my head. I thought it was going so well too. Now I was back into that embarrassed, blushing stage.
"Alright, tonight I want you to try some self pleasure. I'm not talking about a quick wank either. You need to learn what your body likes, explore yourself," he said. "I think that is it, are we on for next week?"
I nodded, still blushing, and stood up.
"Yeah that would be great," I said shaking his hand.
I walked out of his office, and sighed once again. It was going to be a long week.
Four
I decided to walk back home from the appointment. I really needed to clear my head. My erection had gone down, but that tight unexplainable feeling was still left in the pit of my stomach. After four months of getting absolutely nothing from down there, why would my sex therapist do it for me!? He gave me a fuckin' hard on. Now that's irony if you ask me. So much for clearing my head....
There was no doubt that Dr. Frank Iero was hot, but why was I so physically attracted to him? Especially when no one else could do it for me? The only thing I could pin it on was his looks. I hadn't known him enough to think that it was his personality or something. Maybe part of it was the forbidden lust aspect of it. Who didn't want a little danger? Plus, although I would never get any tattoo's or piercings’ his where a major turn on.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of forbidden lust I walked past my apartment building. I sighed at my own absence of mind, and decided to walk down the next block to get some carry out. A little something from Hibachi San seemed like it could solve all my problems just about now.
***************
I lay in bed focusing entirely on myself. I had finished my dinner a couple hours ago and had tried to distract myself from what I had to do. My homework was hard, and not in the good way it was supposed to be. No matter what I just couldn't seem to get myself going.
I tried teasing myself; I even imagined my sexcapades with past lovers. When those didn't work I just shoved my hand into my boxers and grabbed myself. Have you ever tried fisting a wet noodle?! I've got news for you, it doesn't fucking work!
Dr. Iero, I cringed when my stomach bubbled with excitement at just the thought of his name, said I needed to get to know my body again. Maybe I should go back to basics.
I sighed and stood from my bed, walking to my closet. It had full length mirrors on the doors, and I stood before them. I looked at myself. I was pathetic! A twenty something year old who can't get it up. This was ridiculous. I was gonna get off tonight no matter what.
I pushed the waistband of my boxers down over my thighs and let them fall to my feet. I stepped out of them and, kicked them in the direction of my bed. I looked at myself in the mirror, then grabbed myself at the base. I began trying to pump, which as stated earlier doesn't work too well when you have a limp cock. I closed my eyes and closed out any distractions, focusing on only my body.
I felt something trailing down my neck. Almost like lips? No, not possible. I snapped open my eyes, and there he was. Frank Iero in all his glory, he was standing behind me placing small open mouthed kisses on my neck and shoulders. I could feel his obvious arousal pressed against my ass. For the second time in four months I was rock hard.
I didn't ask any questions, just watched through the mirror. His arms snuck between mine and he put his hands on my hips. He pulled me back to him, grinding his erection against my ass. I bit my tongue trying not to make noise; I didn't want to ruin the moment. He brought his hand to my lower abdomen, and his lips to my ear. Ever so slowly he began rubbing small circles on my stomach, just above the dark coarse hair that led to better places.
"I am gonna make you feel so fucking good," he whispered in my ear, grinding himself against me. "Can you feel that? Do you want it?"
I could only nod as his hand traveled up my chest to my nipples. He began flicking them, and rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. The sensations in my body were amazing. I was hotter than I had ever been. He kept one hand on my stomach, and the other disappeared behind me.
The first noises of pleasure left my throat as two spit covered fingers entered me. Our eyes met in the mirror and I nodded at his silent question of continuing. His fingers slid almost all the way out, then he thrust them back in hard and fast. I moaned again as his fingers raked across the flesh of my abdomen leaving red tracks in their path that would later be scratch marks.
All I could do was stand there with my head tilted back to rest on his shoulder, pleading for more with every moan. At one point I tried to grab my throbbing, aching cock, but he just slapped my hand away. His fingers slipped completely out of me, and I glared at him through the mirror. He only smirked.
"I’m gonna fuck you so hard," he whispered, biting the lobe of my ear.
Frank Iero, if anything, was a man of his word. He positioned his cock at my entrance and thrust in deep. I strained my neck back towards his shoulder and moaned. He set up a fast, hard pace, and I knew I wouldn't last long. His hands held my hips hard keeping both of us on balance, I was sure there would be bruises. Such minuscule thoughts were pushed from my mind when he found my prostate. I literally screamed in pleasure.
Frankie smirked and pulled out, repositioning himself. "Right there?" He asked thrusting in hard and fast and hitting my spot directly.
I closed my eyes focusing all my energy on grinding myself back on him. By this time we were both sweating. The only sounds that could be heard were our moans. And the wet sound of skin on skin contact as his balls slapped against my ass with every thrust.
"Open your eyes, watch me bring you to orgasm," he ordered biting down on my neck.
I opened my eyes at his command, and moaned once again. He looked so fucking hot. He was sweating; his lip was caught between his teeth as he moved himself in and out of me. Our eyes connected in the mirror again as his left hand trailed down to my throbbing arousal. When he reached it, it was already slick with precum, and he had no problem pumping me along with his thrust.
He looked at me through the mirror and whispered. "Come."
I didn't have to be told twice. I bit my lip and closed my eyes letting out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush. He shot his load into me, and I shot mine into his hand. I could feel his and mine dripping down my thighs and mixing together.
I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror. I was the only one standing there. I blushed at my wanton position. I had one hand stretched behind me, fingers still moving in and out of myself. My other hand was at my side, cum dripping off the tips of my fingers. Much like the come trailing down the inside of my thighs.
"Shit!" I breathed out.
I had succumbed to my darkest fantasy. I now knew I had to get the real thing. I sighed and walked to the shower. Stepping in I sighed again, how was I ever gonna make it through my next appointment?
Five
I cleaned off in the shower trying not to close my eyes. For every time I did the back of my eyelids became a movie screen, and projected were thrusting hips and crushing lips.
I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted the real thing, In fact I was pretty sure I needed to have him. It wasn’t that I wanted a serious relationship with him. The only thing I truly felt I needed from him was something purely physical. Now all I needed was a plan…
First thing I needed was a good night’s rest. I could only hope sleep wouldn’t evade me. I didn’t think I could handle anymore dirty dreams of a certain sex therapist. I tossed and turned knowing that if I closed my eyes images of my darkest fantasies would haunt me. So much for a good night’s sleep.
Somehow I managed to sleep, but when I woke, was still tired. I made a bowl of fruit loops and sat myself down at the computer
It was amazing the kinds of things you could find on the Internet. For example I now knew his address and even his middle name.
I was surprised to learn that he lived about seven blocks away from me. It probably seems like I am becoming one of those creepy stalker guys, but I’m not I swear! I just needed to make a few things official. For fucks sake I didn't even know if he liked cock or not. Okay so maybe I’m a little stalker-ish.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I rushed to clean myself up. Dr. Iero’s office had called. My appointment had been moved from tomorrow, Saturday, to today. Today as in like 20 minutes from now. There had been a cancellation so they were able to move me up a day.
I walked into the waiting room, and gave a sarcastic smile to the bitchy receptionist. I sat and waited nearly 10 minutes before Dr. Iero exited his office, with a couple. The couple looked like they were happy.
“Gerard you’re here, good you can wait in my office I am gonna walk them to the lobby,” he said smiling.
I nodded and walked through the all too familiar door into his small office. I tried not to snoop, I really did. I guess curiosity really did kill the cat.
On his desk there was a date book. It was a really nice leather bound one with gold leaf lettering on the cover. I walked to his desk and gingerly picked it up flipping it to today’s date, Friday, January 11th.
Written in dark scrappy writing was the words Pink Flamingo; 9:00. I smiled Pink Flamingo was one of the most well known gay clubs in New York. Maybe Dr. Frank Iero was batting for my team after all…
Quickly I put the book back on his desk and sat down. Minutes later he walked back in with a smile. In that time I had formulated the perfect plan…