Sucker.. It's really a lolly-pop....
So, I actually feel really odd right now. It's the feeling AFTER you feel like commiting suicide. Bad feelings.. Let ME tell YOU.
So Jasper was here, and all went relatively well. He IS tickle-ish by the way... But that's not the point. I hate feeling inferior to people. It's a bad feeling. And when I was with him, and with other people, that's how I felt. I felt like the little kid that's stupid. And I never really understood how I can feel that way. I think High school has shown me so much, like how shy I actually am, and that I'm a little to easily annoyed. I hate all these fucking emotions. It needs to be a little bit like Equalibrium. Where you don't have all these stupid mixed emotions. I think this depression really isn't my fault. I have these insane episodes, where I really feel like I want to hit something hard, or pull that gun out of my pocket,(which isn't actually there) and just pull the trigger. But I don't know why. And I can't control it. And some people make me feel that way, and I just wish I didn't have to talk, just, they could understand and... well.. understand. But life isn't like that.
It sucks in so many ways, yet there are so many things that just balance it all out. It's horrible. Anyways, so back to the weekend with Jasper... We went to Six Fags and rode 2 roller coasters and the tea cups,
"I like tea cups.. Tea is good." *Smiles* - Jasper
and the Alpine Bobs, which I have seen many times but had absolutly no desire to ride, but somehow got on the ride. At any rate... So we also had Thai, which is so good, and made fun of Perry, which is also good. Ahahaha...
"Perry, Guess what this is..." *holds up hands showing a smalll distance* "this is the length is your lesh. Ahaha!!"--Jasper
He is so whipped..just like cream..ahaha..yeah..that was gross.
We also went to see Dodgeball, which I reccomend. "She plays softball, she must be a lesbian." *end of the movie comes*
**hot girl makes out with another chick**
"She is a lesbian.."
"Good call.."
"Actually, I'm bi-sexual"
ahahaha!
~Bust on me~
"You were adopted and your parents don't love you!"
**Bust on Perry and I..**
"Finally the Hippies did something right!"
~*~Bust on Jasper~*~
But, I think I don't know what to do about these crazy feelings.. yeah.. I'm so all over the place.. Anyways.. That's the actual reason my mom doesn't want me driving, she says that I get into these Emotional fits where I can't control my depression, and that's bad, and that I also hold grudges for a really long time, and She's afraid that if I drove, I might Be able to commit suicide using a vehical. Bad stuff it is.
I might be able to get some meds. for this shit, because it really is too much to be able to handle on my own. I've stopped eating again, and not on purpose either, it just happens. And I've been getting headaches 8From not eating* and lost intrest in things i like doing.. very moody.. bad..
someone help?
So Jasper was here, and all went relatively well. He IS tickle-ish by the way... But that's not the point. I hate feeling inferior to people. It's a bad feeling. And when I was with him, and with other people, that's how I felt. I felt like the little kid that's stupid. And I never really understood how I can feel that way. I think High school has shown me so much, like how shy I actually am, and that I'm a little to easily annoyed. I hate all these fucking emotions. It needs to be a little bit like Equalibrium. Where you don't have all these stupid mixed emotions. I think this depression really isn't my fault. I have these insane episodes, where I really feel like I want to hit something hard, or pull that gun out of my pocket,(which isn't actually there) and just pull the trigger. But I don't know why. And I can't control it. And some people make me feel that way, and I just wish I didn't have to talk, just, they could understand and... well.. understand. But life isn't like that.
It sucks in so many ways, yet there are so many things that just balance it all out. It's horrible. Anyways, so back to the weekend with Jasper... We went to Six Fags and rode 2 roller coasters and the tea cups,
"I like tea cups.. Tea is good." *Smiles* - Jasper
and the Alpine Bobs, which I have seen many times but had absolutly no desire to ride, but somehow got on the ride. At any rate... So we also had Thai, which is so good, and made fun of Perry, which is also good. Ahahaha...
"Perry, Guess what this is..." *holds up hands showing a smalll distance* "this is the length is your lesh. Ahaha!!"--Jasper
He is so whipped..just like cream..ahaha..yeah..that was gross.
We also went to see Dodgeball, which I reccomend. "She plays softball, she must be a lesbian." *end of the movie comes*
**hot girl makes out with another chick**
"She is a lesbian.."
"Good call.."
"Actually, I'm bi-sexual"
ahahaha!
~Bust on me~
"You were adopted and your parents don't love you!"
**Bust on Perry and I..**
"Finally the Hippies did something right!"
~*~Bust on Jasper~*~
But, I think I don't know what to do about these crazy feelings.. yeah.. I'm so all over the place.. Anyways.. That's the actual reason my mom doesn't want me driving, she says that I get into these Emotional fits where I can't control my depression, and that's bad, and that I also hold grudges for a really long time, and She's afraid that if I drove, I might Be able to commit suicide using a vehical. Bad stuff it is.
I might be able to get some meds. for this shit, because it really is too much to be able to handle on my own. I've stopped eating again, and not on purpose either, it just happens. And I've been getting headaches 8From not eating* and lost intrest in things i like doing.. very moody.. bad..
someone help?