166: When Shall We Three Fuck Again?

[thefourthvine]

Recently, our household acquired a package of Pepperidge Farms Milano Cookies. Best Beloved read the package while I was eating the cookies (we have a fabulous division of labor in our household), and then sat bolt upright, totally riveted, and read me the following line of package text:

The perfect balance of two exquisite cookies embracing a

Comments

[thefourthvine]

You know, the real tragedy was that when Best Beloved read this post, we began reminiscing about Campaigns of Old, and we both instantly went back to the one I ran where I had to fuck with the dice to keep my first-level party from getting killed by a deer. (They were, um. Spectacularly incompetent. Seriously, by the end of the night, they were hunting cows (actual quote: "And don't give us a healthy one, either! We want the lame and infirm!"), because the deer had totally bested them. And we had all hurt ourselves from laughing so hard.)

*sigh*

We are so uncool it's just amazing, but that's nothing compared to how uncool we used to be.

threw her two-handed sword at a magical disembodied head that was flying away and I rolled double 20s so she managed to impale it through the eye.

Once, our DM was running us through that ancient three-module set of published adventures - the ones about giants? Anyway, my druid managed to throw her hammer and take out the giant leader/king guy, thus kind of ruining the big climactic fight of the second module. (Between us, Best Beloved and I also ruined the first and third modules. This is when our DM came to the conclusion that no one planned sufficiently for the two of us who didn't actually know us, and stopped using published adventures.)

[sdwolfpup]

Heeee, the deer story is hilarious. I had a first level elven warrior I played for exactly three sessions. We got in roughly 10 battles during that time and she went to negative hit points in every one. Without fail. Didn't matter what we were fighting. She died when she accidentally jumped into a boiling lake of water. (She was standing right at the shore and I ASKED the GM whether there was anything strange about it and he said no. Don't you think she would've felt HEAT coming off of the surface? Not that I"m bitter still. *cough*)

Our group could kill a published adventure faster than anything. We used to play a ton of Shadowrun, too, and there was this one published adventure, Harlequin Returns, that we absolutely wrecked. We run into the climactic battle scene and our street sam pulls out his gun and shoots the villain. We've caused so many problems up to this point that the GM says, "BEFORE YOU CAN ACT" and then launches into the printed speech, no matter what we did. "Before you can act" became our battle cry for years after.

[gryphonrhi]

::winces:: I had a first level psionicist get attacked by two third or fourth level fighters and their dog. We've been making jokes ever since about Mutt, Jeff, and the competent dog...