Rant: Is There a DSM-IV Category for Fan Fiction Induced Insanity?

[thefourthvine]

I haven't been sleeping much lately. This means I've reading a lot of FF. (Yes, even more than usual. But, on the bright side, not quite enough to qualify me for an intervention at the Fan Mental Health Clinic.) Which means that it's time for another damn rant. (If you're new here: in rants, the cut tag indicates mean-spiritedness and general

Comments

[thefourthvine]

...okay, now I want someone to write that in a compelling manner. Damn, I wish lynnmonster was still writing DS.

I KNOW. It is so unfair, because she's the person who immediately leaps to mind for that task. Hmmm. Perhaps you should post a challenge in your journal. It could be one of the Three Tasks to Appoint a Successor to the dS Crackthrone! (Crackthrone. OMG. Worst made-up word ever; feathercock is nothing to it.)

I'm sorry, and I'm SO RIGHT THERE WITH YOU on cutesy pairing names, 100%, so really, it's pretty much your fault that somewhere in the back of my brain, I'm going to be thinking of Vecchio/Kowalski as "Chicago" from now on.

I think this is pretty much where I defriend and ban you and then set up a community called we_hate_blg, isn't it?

But, alas, I cannot. For one thing, I could not stand to live without your cooking adventures, which make my kitchen failures (like the seriously mealy new potato recipe I tried last night) seem, um, really really good in comparison. (The kale and cannellini soup was excellent, though, and easy enough that you could make it!)

[lynnmonster]

OH SEE THIS IS REALLY FUNNY. Because I had *already* highlighted and copied this portion of your entry:

You would not write a story in which cocks hold hands and go on a picnic and declare love for each other and maybe whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears.

to say, "Oh, yes, I probably would" before I even saw that my name was being taken in vain...

[thefourthvine]

You are NOT ALLOWED to complain about how we're using your name, because you brought it on yourself, Miss Pregnant Angel Ray. Plus, you made MMWD and me write crossover tentacle porn. So let us hear no more complaints from you, young lady.

That said, I'm not entirely sure that even you could write the story (you know, in which cocks hold hands and go on a picnic and declare love for each other and maybe whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears). I just - some things are impossible, you know?

[lynnmonster]

HAHAHAHA, shows what you know! There's actually a published boys' love manga -- *series* of manga, I think -- where the guys not only have talking penises, but they get *switched* in some sort of *accident* so they have someone *else's* talking penis attached to their bodies, with distinct opinions and things...

[china_shop]

Penis bodyswap!!!!! OMG! *dies*

[nightengale]

You toooooooooootally beat me to this. 'cause that was my FIRST THOUGHT when i saw that sentence.

TFV, I'm new here, so this is the first rant I've seen, and all I've got to say?

RANT MORE.