belated asheville times

[theforgetter]

so towards the end, when i was in asheville during a time where i felt the most like myself than i ever have before.. i am not afraid to admit .. that i cracked. right after all the stress of jobs and moving i had what some might consider .. delusions. needless to say, it involved a girl named Imoen, her dog named pepper, and "Small time crooks". i wont get into details because i can't explain it. i tried. i told doug and margaret, but i dont think they believed, cared, or really even understood. and it seemed like a one time thing, and it actually made me feel very lonely, and yeah, sorta upset... for a delusion. and all has gone well, and though i don't think i am having a full out relapse, i remembered today.. and it scared me this emotional attachment to something that never really happened. should it worry me? no. i mean, i figure of all the crazy people out there, very few of them have had delusions of stablitly, comfort, and happiness amoung other things. i mean GEEZZ, i hardly wear tinfoil hats anymore.. well either way. i felt crazy all day, which i know i am not. i just can't shake this feeling sometimes, this good good feeling of a warm and comforting love .. that never really happened.

i don't give details.. its LJ and i'm RJ. its just how we roll.