Event Narrative
The order's come, but for the first time, I hesitate on its execution. Revan's words echo in my mind, his orders. I've never disobeyed him, not once.
My eyes stare out at the planet's surface, and I can feel them. All of them, inside of me, in my soul. We're connected. The Force sensitive, those who can't even understand it. We're connected by companionship and death and... me.
“General?”
I turn my head, looking at the Zabrak engineer, and my feelings are reflected in his eyes, but it's more. I can feel his hate and revulsion for the Mandalorians, feel his need for this strangling out his apprehension.
I nod slowly, once.
He pauses and returns my nod. “Yes, General.”
There's a ripple in the Force when he turns on the Shadow Mass Generator.
The deaths begin, in tides and rips. I choke wordlessly, soundless, as the first soldier falls to the pressure of gravity. The second brings me to my knees. The third tears at my soul, and I scream. I'm with them, everyone of them, as they die. And I die with them. Each time.
I thrash on the metal floor. There are people hovering around me, my soldiers, but they don't understand. They can't feel this pain, this emptiness in the Force. It's dark, terrifying, and I taste fear like I never have before. In my pain, I can't help but wonder: why do we embrace this and turn to the dark side?
I claw the ground. I'm dying, I want to say. I'm dying...
And then I reach out suddenly, and I cut them off of me. I stop myself from feeling them, from being connected.
There's silence. Not in the ship, but inside of me. Thick, haunting silence in the wake of my choices.
Revan has done this to me, I think in the darkness.
“General? General!”
I don't open my eyes. I just let what happens happen. I'm empty inside. Alone.
Revan will make this better. I have to believe that he will, that I have done what was right for his vision. It's the only thing that I feel, this need for Revan to make it right again, because there's nothing left to feel.
I open my eyes, rolling onto my side, ignoring the worried hands of Bao-Dur. There is no Force. No life or death. I'm crying silently, and it's fitting, since everything else is as quiet.
“We've won,” I whisper, staring off.
My eyes stare out at the planet's surface, and I can feel them. All of them, inside of me, in my soul. We're connected. The Force sensitive, those who can't even understand it. We're connected by companionship and death and... me.
“General?”
I turn my head, looking at the Zabrak engineer, and my feelings are reflected in his eyes, but it's more. I can feel his hate and revulsion for the Mandalorians, feel his need for this strangling out his apprehension.
I nod slowly, once.
He pauses and returns my nod. “Yes, General.”
There's a ripple in the Force when he turns on the Shadow Mass Generator.
The deaths begin, in tides and rips. I choke wordlessly, soundless, as the first soldier falls to the pressure of gravity. The second brings me to my knees. The third tears at my soul, and I scream. I'm with them, everyone of them, as they die. And I die with them. Each time.
I thrash on the metal floor. There are people hovering around me, my soldiers, but they don't understand. They can't feel this pain, this emptiness in the Force. It's dark, terrifying, and I taste fear like I never have before. In my pain, I can't help but wonder: why do we embrace this and turn to the dark side?
I claw the ground. I'm dying, I want to say. I'm dying...
And then I reach out suddenly, and I cut them off of me. I stop myself from feeling them, from being connected.
There's silence. Not in the ship, but inside of me. Thick, haunting silence in the wake of my choices.
Revan has done this to me, I think in the darkness.
“General? General!”
I don't open my eyes. I just let what happens happen. I'm empty inside. Alone.
Revan will make this better. I have to believe that he will, that I have done what was right for his vision. It's the only thing that I feel, this need for Revan to make it right again, because there's nothing left to feel.
I open my eyes, rolling onto my side, ignoring the worried hands of Bao-Dur. There is no Force. No life or death. I'm crying silently, and it's fitting, since everything else is as quiet.
“We've won,” I whisper, staring off.