pissed off

[thefirstday]

life is shit and i now know this i cant belive that this has happened, well you know what i take that  back i can tottally belive it.  i knew it was going ti happen all along. but normaly when you know something is going to happen you preapare yourself.  or pretend to do so.  i cant even tell that lie that i was ready for this or that i was bracing myself. i just kinda hope that it would have never happend.  know we have to watch him like ahungry hawk and make sure that he takes care of himself.  because (and yes i told him this) if he dies i'll kill him and i mean that shit straight up.  i wanted to freak out and hug him and tell him i love him and all that lame ol' shit but i just couldnt bring myself to do it. we dont have that kind of relationship never have. but im sure i ept us form going there too. just alittl akward.  but he knows. and now so do you so dont tell anyone else or else got it? GOOD! 
im out son holla