It's Unnatural
OK EVERYONE:
For those who have wondered where I've been, I
1) Have the MOST awesome job ever, and I'm really really really happy there, even though I can't get on LJ there, and
2) At night I come home to two beautiful children who aren't really big on this whole "Sleep" issue, so that whole "sleep" thing is still, well, an issue. And
3) They let me preach at the Unitarian Fellowship. Weird, hu?
And now days the only time I ever get online is to research said sermons. Which, if you live within driving distance of me, I invite you to attend, since I'm AWESOME! (Or at least having the time of my life.)
And tomorrow's topic is this:
Every time we think about same-sex marriage
It makes us sick to our guts
I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable
Monogamous life-long relationship
What are they, nuts?
It's the Lord's holy word, as my second wife said to my third
That a family's based on obligation and fear
We're -
Defenders of marriage
Connubial narcs
Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married
One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry
I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher
And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder
He said, "It's nature versus legislature."
Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey?
We're an army of di...di..........disatisfied persons!
With a militant stance
Let's get the government out of our lives
and into our pants!
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who:
want to get married
And have their insurance carried
And be beneficiary'd
And be next to the ones they love when they are buried
NOW Ted Haggard.......he telephoned the white house for a weekly consultation.
Saying, "Here's what Jesus thinks about the pending legislation."
Marriage is a covenant between a man and his wife
And homosexuals will fry forever in the afterlife.
Ted did some other things he later disavowed,
But he's putting it all behind him now.
What does Leviticus have to say, yeah, what does it say about being gay?
To lie with man is an abomination
Like cursing your parents
Trimming your beard
Planting wheat and barley in the same furrow
Eating pork
Wearing polyester and masturbation
And what did Jesus have to say, yeah, what did he say about being gay?
Well, nothing.
So if you're a gay teenager, probably Jesus doesn't love you
'Cause he knows Ted Haggard doesn't think a whole lot of you
So don't embrace the way God made you, here's what you should do:
Choose to be a hetero, and 7 foot 2.
For those who have wondered where I've been, I
1) Have the MOST awesome job ever, and I'm really really really happy there, even though I can't get on LJ there, and
2) At night I come home to two beautiful children who aren't really big on this whole "Sleep" issue, so that whole "sleep" thing is still, well, an issue. And
3) They let me preach at the Unitarian Fellowship. Weird, hu?
And now days the only time I ever get online is to research said sermons. Which, if you live within driving distance of me, I invite you to attend, since I'm AWESOME! (Or at least having the time of my life.)
And tomorrow's topic is this:
Every time we think about same-sex marriage
It makes us sick to our guts
I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable
Monogamous life-long relationship
What are they, nuts?
It's the Lord's holy word, as my second wife said to my third
That a family's based on obligation and fear
We're -
Defenders of marriage
Connubial narcs
Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married
One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry
I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher
And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder
He said, "It's nature versus legislature."
Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey?
We're an army of di...di..........disatisfied persons!
With a militant stance
Let's get the government out of our lives
and into our pants!
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who:
want to get married
And have their insurance carried
And be beneficiary'd
And be next to the ones they love when they are buried
NOW Ted Haggard.......he telephoned the white house for a weekly consultation.
Saying, "Here's what Jesus thinks about the pending legislation."
Marriage is a covenant between a man and his wife
And homosexuals will fry forever in the afterlife.
Ted did some other things he later disavowed,
But he's putting it all behind him now.
What does Leviticus have to say, yeah, what does it say about being gay?
To lie with man is an abomination
Like cursing your parents
Trimming your beard
Planting wheat and barley in the same furrow
Eating pork
Wearing polyester and masturbation
And what did Jesus have to say, yeah, what did he say about being gay?
Well, nothing.
So if you're a gay teenager, probably Jesus doesn't love you
'Cause he knows Ted Haggard doesn't think a whole lot of you
So don't embrace the way God made you, here's what you should do:
Choose to be a hetero, and 7 foot 2.