Jun 20, 2008 01:41
Just like rain in Forks, there was La Push, and Jacob Black.
He said he's always there to wait, but it had been literally half a century since we'd spoken. Edward had changed me, and Victoria killed him. My last act of vampirism was to kill her with my newborn strength, and I had done that with only my love for him in mind. That was the last time I'd ever spoken with a Cullen. When Edward was finally gone, the Cullens were gone too.
I had lost everything that meant life to me. Now my immortality was useless, and I wished for nothing but what Edward originally wanted me to have. The simple concept of an easy death.
Still, I was driving to nowhere, without a clue. I wanted to go somewhere, see something that might stir some hope. For the first time since the change took place, I felt absolutely helpless, and truly alone.
I spotted the road that led to the Cullen's home in Forks, but smelled nothing that said they had been there since. I couldn't imagine that house in its prime, with Esme as decorator and the family to inhabit it, making sure it was safe for a clumsy human being like me. It was more like a vampire haven now that they had left.
I didn't even bother seeing if anything had changed, for I knew what would happen. It would be like they had never been there in the first place.
I stopped, and pulled over. It was almost ironic, the fact that I was driving Edward's Volvo, when he was newly dead and I hated fast cars. I missed my truck, but I missed him more. I was going to my meadow.
Jump, duck, run. Twist, turn, weave. It was the mere act of running and jumping that ignited my feral senses. I was thirsty, but not that thirsty. I could wait. I remembered the last time I was here, and tears came to my eyes. Tears that couldn't be shed, for fear of blinding me.
It wasn't until I reached the meadow that I heard him.
"Bells, is that really you?" a soft rasping voice echoed around me. I sniffed the air, confirming that I wasn't going insane. Jacob Black was alive, and here in my meadow with me. I closed my eyes, wishing that I knew how to answer. I'm sorry, Jacob, Bella Swan doesn't exist anymore. Here, I'm a filthy bloodsucking leech that I'm sure repulses you simply by scent. Want a hug?
All I could muster was a whispered sob.
Jacob was a foot away from me in less than a second. His look radiated pain, and... joy? He was happy to see me? After all, I had broken his heart and basically left him for dead. His nose scrunched up, I could tell. "Bella, honey, why are you here? Where's... why... you know what I'm saying, right?" I forced myself to look up at him.
"Jake, Edward is dead. I'm all alone, and immortal. He changed me once we left for Juneau." I hung my head, barely able to breathe, even when I really didn't need to. "Not to sound cruel, but you kind of reek." I looked up immediately, my eyes slits. I could barely gasp, he had his arms around me.
"Please don't leave me again. I never imprinted, I never phased back. When you left with...him, I couldn't take being human. This is the first time I've walked on two legs since, Bells. I've been wolf this whole time."
It was only a few minutes until we were back in Forks, and I was crying. "Why can't we be simple again? It would be so much easier if we could just die, and be happy. Jake, I miss being human. Why can't we make things work?"
An awkward silence ensued.
"Technically, Bells, we aren't supposed to exist."
It was all uphill from there.
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