All these pieces of me
It seems that, along with my inner hermit (who is quite the nature-goer, it appears; she led me to walk the dog around in the rain; needless to say, we are both very wet), my inner kitchen witch has come out. I thought it only a whim when I cleaned the bathroom; indeed, I did not stop for a break for I feared I'd never have the will to start again
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(I actually identify as a pagan, too, though I'm very generalist about it and have yet to settle down and figure out how exactly I want this whole relation with the Higher Powers thing to go. I've got my morals and my philosophy, of course, but I haven't a name to put to it, though I'd like to find one, someday.
I suppose I've just dealt with too many people that- I suppose give the whole thing a bad name. There are the people who are in it because it's popular, there are the people that go 'OMG BURNING TIMES I'M OPPRESSED BECAUSE OF MY RELIGION,' the ones that think 'magic's going to solve all my problems!,' the ones that swear they've 'met Odin in ritual' and then have little freakouts because someone imagines him differently than they do...so I end up being very skeptical of anyone who says they are 'pagan.' I have a few pagan friends I do respect in terms of their beliefs, but that's because we've gone through and talked about it, and I can see that it's not any of those things, that they've got a sane head on their shoulders, and such.)
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... and that's my big pagan rant for the day. ^_~)
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I think another part of my problem with most pagans is that I feel it's unbalanced. So many pagans are like, "OMGGODDESS!!!111!ELEVENTY-ONE! -- and oh yeah, there's the God, but he's her suitor and lover and totally not as important as she is." Which- a big part of my belief is that balance is everything, and also that it just ends up feeling like it's all because they're being anti-Christian, not pagan. Though I associate better with male authority figures a lot of times anyway, so maybe I'm biased.)
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Me, I have real trouble with gender self-identification; although I've got a distinctly female body, and I dress it in a culturally female way, I identify as neither male nor female, and I'm not sure how other people can do otherwise--even though I acknowledge that they do. For this reason, I have a much easier time perceiving the divine/sacred in the world as genderless, and so the Goddess-preference rankles at me, too.)
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I can understand both, really, because I'm in the middle of the two myself. I haven't put much thought into gender self-identification, really, because I am physically female, I wouldn't be male if I had the choice, and rather content myself with luck of the draw. However, if we go by stereotypical mental setups, even the modern day ones, I'm extremely androgynous mentally. Thus I don't get alone well with either girly-girls or feminists and I don't manage to be a tomboy (though I admit to being a little wrestly at points >_>). I've never had much problem with it, per se, so I haven't analyzed it much; really, typing this is the most I've done.
I don't so much perceive said divine/sacred as being genderless; I think of it as both. I think gender is a major sliding scale, not a clean cut, so nothing's really genderless, it's just got some sort of balance between the two, even if that balance is dead neutral.)
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Say this is the scale, with masculine on one side and feminine on the other--
0---3---6
I am here. X
He didn't seem impressed by my disassociation from the continuum, but that's how I feel. ^_^;;)
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Seriously, because I'm trying to think of something gender related to make a joke of you missing, but no, really, it's not with the coming. ;)
At least we can agree to be confused by each other?)
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