It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Now I can't tell what I've done
Now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun, the light, the way for me...
Cause now again I've found myself
So far down away from the sun
That shines into the darkest places
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines, the light, the way for me
To find my way back into the arms again
About the walls I'm so far down
Away from the sun again
I started humming that song a few hours ago, mainly due to the fact that I'm really nervous about tomorrow. I keep evaluating myself. I keep trying to figure out how much I love Brown, and why I thought I'd be a perfect match. I love the place to death. I can picture myself there. I'm innovative, I'm creative, but above all, I'm driven and extremely motivated. I don't know where else in the world I would rather be. I have a unique story to share and so much more to contribute. I know all that. My teachers who wrote my recommendations knew that.
I've been doing these Stanford essays, just in case I'm deferred, and none if it makes sense to me. Perhaps it's because I've never visited Stanford, so it's a bit harder to mold my essays to fit their criteria.
My heart is pounding out of my chest now. This entry makes me sound like an overanalytical emo bitch. It's not even 12.14.2006 5PM EST yet. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do if I'm deferred/denied. This sounds so ridiculous.
I know if things are meant to be, then they are meant to be. If they aren't, then we just shouldn't overanalyze them. Kathleen and I were talking about this in Macro this morning. But I feel like it's so easy to say. I mean, especially with Kevin and MIT. I'm so happy for him, because a while back I realized that I could not possibly picture him at any other college. I found it weird that MIT would take a kid who has only taken AP Spanish and is only in AB Calculus. MIT made a really big statement by taking Kevin: they didn't judge him based on his coursework, or numbers. They treated him as a person and realized that he would be a perfect fit for their college.
I have friends, parents and teachers who believe in me. A boy who will not judge me based on college acceptances. I wouldn't give that stuff up for the world. Froats said it would be Brown's loss if they didn't take me. She even said that if I were deferred/denied from Brown, she'd let me take the math test on Monday instead of Friday. She's amazingly understanding, but I wouldn't want to take advantage of her like that.
The weather's supposed to beautiful Thursday and Friday.
Amy brought some dresses in for me today. I've decided on this black one with purple flowers. It didn't look that great when Amy showed me in school, but when I put it on, it simply looked amazing. The dark purple dress showed too much cleavage, and everyone knows I am not like that.
Now I can't tell what I've done
Now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun, the light, the way for me...
Cause now again I've found myself
So far down away from the sun
That shines into the darkest places
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines, the light, the way for me
To find my way back into the arms again
About the walls I'm so far down
Away from the sun again
I started humming that song a few hours ago, mainly due to the fact that I'm really nervous about tomorrow. I keep evaluating myself. I keep trying to figure out how much I love Brown, and why I thought I'd be a perfect match. I love the place to death. I can picture myself there. I'm innovative, I'm creative, but above all, I'm driven and extremely motivated. I don't know where else in the world I would rather be. I have a unique story to share and so much more to contribute. I know all that. My teachers who wrote my recommendations knew that.
I've been doing these Stanford essays, just in case I'm deferred, and none if it makes sense to me. Perhaps it's because I've never visited Stanford, so it's a bit harder to mold my essays to fit their criteria.
My heart is pounding out of my chest now. This entry makes me sound like an overanalytical emo bitch. It's not even 12.14.2006 5PM EST yet. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do if I'm deferred/denied. This sounds so ridiculous.
I know if things are meant to be, then they are meant to be. If they aren't, then we just shouldn't overanalyze them. Kathleen and I were talking about this in Macro this morning. But I feel like it's so easy to say. I mean, especially with Kevin and MIT. I'm so happy for him, because a while back I realized that I could not possibly picture him at any other college. I found it weird that MIT would take a kid who has only taken AP Spanish and is only in AB Calculus. MIT made a really big statement by taking Kevin: they didn't judge him based on his coursework, or numbers. They treated him as a person and realized that he would be a perfect fit for their college.
I have friends, parents and teachers who believe in me. A boy who will not judge me based on college acceptances. I wouldn't give that stuff up for the world. Froats said it would be Brown's loss if they didn't take me. She even said that if I were deferred/denied from Brown, she'd let me take the math test on Monday instead of Friday. She's amazingly understanding, but I wouldn't want to take advantage of her like that.
The weather's supposed to beautiful Thursday and Friday.
Amy brought some dresses in for me today. I've decided on this black one with purple flowers. It didn't look that great when Amy showed me in school, but when I put it on, it simply looked amazing. The dark purple dress showed too much cleavage, and everyone knows I am not like that.