tarnished like the angels

[thefinalcall]

i miss my brother... zac, you know youre the world to meand i couldnt ask for more in a bother than what you offer. i could never do anything to obad for you. i wish i was open and accepting like you. i love you and i never want to disappoint to the extereme. just please understandn taht when i do things... its for a reason and my reasons arent

Comments

[doinitwitrythem]

Taylor..I miss you too. Those words sink deep into my heart like ink in a tattoo that's always going to be there,your always going to be there.I will love you through the good times and even keep on loving you right through the bad. It's not so much that I miss "you" physically, it's that I miss what we were, we had this inceperable relationship. A brotherly bond that goes runs thick in blood, and a friendship that is unconcurable, people...including Isaac resented us for our relationship as they were jealous. Telling Each other everything, always running a plan by with the other one to get a second opinion as to whether or not it would be good to go through with, never going any place one without the other and if by any chance one of us did we would be sure to bring the cell phone and text message each other back and forth and check up on each other or just say whats up?, including each other in everything, these are all the things that made us great brothers and just as great of friends. I miss that and until I know I can have that back completely, it's like my other half is missing and i'm incomplete man. I know your going to fix this Tay and I have faith you will, I'm going to help you to fix it...if you'll let me, there are some things I WANT to DO and some things I NEED to do..as your brother..AND as your friend and its not putting me out man. I just dont want anything to happen.

And don't worry, they arent going to fuck with us,any of us or i'll have them mother fuckers, plus we know people who know people and they know people, we have a lot of connections actually so yeah, they don't want to fuck with that. I know that what happened was something you probably never expected and you never intended on it getting that out of hand since of course you thought it wasn't anything you couldnt handle yourself, but apparently..it was, Taylor..I don't hate you and you can't kick yourself in the ass over this and you cant live your life in fear and jumping at your shadow...otherwise there are only regrets to be found and then THEY are winning, come on Tay come around.

There was a point in time when I shamefully have to admit that the mud we were trudging was deep and I didn't know which end was up, I didn't know what to think of you or the hanious crime, but Taylor...I believe that your sorry and Natalie obviously going to have a harder time forgiving you, which is okay, she has every right to and im sure you understand that and im sure you said an apology not expecting anything specific in return,but yeah..she's a big hearted woman and one tough cookie so im sure she'll listen to what you have to say, whether or not she believes you..thats another story, but yeah. Anyways Tay..I...I love you man and I just..I don't want you to go on digging a grave I cant get you out of.

[thefinalcall]

i dont know zac.. i miss the days when we could just chill in the living room and watch tv... read... talk. i miss it. or wehn we used to cook together? well if i ever get better. itll be better... i swear for you, cause i owe you my life at this moment. i owe you a lot... and im not worried im just... i feel bad for what i did... what i said. i cant take it back.

[doinitwitrythem]

Taylor...it's all something that is not too far from reaching distance, it's not so unrealistic that it can never be achieved again.

There are no "IF"'s as in you getting better, only "when"s you got that Taylor? If's shows signs of vulnerabilitys, if's show signs of saying it can go either way, whens...they show more stability, they show what you want and what your most likely going to get because you just..you want it so bad, whens show security, so that is what we are talking about alright Taylor? I have no time or room for "if"s when it comes down to you and your life.

You Tay, you owe me nothing, we made a pact a long time ago and I plan to keep it till the end of days, I do nothing because I have to but because I want to, nothing I know you wouldnt do for me.

You can't take it back, that's right, but you can make up for it through your future, you can make up for it now and by not repeating those same mistakes.I love you.