Random Question
What is a fear that you don't normally share with people?
When I say fear, it can be anything that you are scared of, things you don't look forward to, etc.
I realized in the last question, I didn't actually give my own answer..... So here's my latest fear.
I know that a lot of you who read this know about my dad's cancer, my fear of obtaining cancer (runs in my dad's family - I don't care what my mom says, I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to get it), and my fear of losing my dad much too soon. However, that isn't the fear I want to talk about. It's something I rather doubt I'd share with my mom, seeing that it's only been around for....... say, a few weeks? I didn't way anything previously because I wasn't sure if I was in a mood or anything, and sometimes it comes and goes, but... anyways, enough about that.
My fear is more of a weight issue. I am overweight, and of course I don't like it, and I try really hard to lose weight and exercise on a regular basis (or as close to a regular basis as I can get, with school work lately). But, a few weeks ago, I found myself surfing the web and looking up random things when I saw an ad for weight loss. You know, the usual, 'I lost 40 pounds in 2 months!! :D See how, with this secret!' Of course I ignored it, but I couldn't get it off of my mind. After the countless number of books my mom has bought for me (she says she reads them for info....... but trust me, they're for me -___-" ), I know there isn't a secret, there's no easy way out - just dedication and commitment to your diet and sticking to that.
Soooo... I was thinking about that for a while more, kind of getting depressed because I wished I could have lost 40 pounds in 2 months (wishful thinking, since that's CRAZY unhealthy! D: ). And I found myself, kind of.... well, considering actually eating less. As in, not eating as much food and literally cutting back. At first I pushed the thought aside, thinking, 'Wow, that's dumb! I don't want to starve myself."
......... But I have thought about it again and again. I even considered pros and cons of it, which is a horrible extreme for me. I don't want to turn to starvation for weight loss (because it's unhealthy and.... it's starvation. o_o ), but sometimes I fear that it's the only option that I have left. What if, in the horrible case that I was already starving myself, that it turned into an eating disorder? Ughhh........ I don't ever want that to happen.
So yeah. That's my fear - turning to eating disorders WILLINGLY to lose weight and feel accepted among my friends. Even close friends, one who get to wear two-piece bikini's to the beach where I feel horribly uncomfortable in shorts and a tshirt. Dx
When I say fear, it can be anything that you are scared of, things you don't look forward to, etc.
I realized in the last question, I didn't actually give my own answer..... So here's my latest fear.
I know that a lot of you who read this know about my dad's cancer, my fear of obtaining cancer (runs in my dad's family - I don't care what my mom says, I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to get it), and my fear of losing my dad much too soon. However, that isn't the fear I want to talk about. It's something I rather doubt I'd share with my mom, seeing that it's only been around for....... say, a few weeks? I didn't way anything previously because I wasn't sure if I was in a mood or anything, and sometimes it comes and goes, but... anyways, enough about that.
My fear is more of a weight issue. I am overweight, and of course I don't like it, and I try really hard to lose weight and exercise on a regular basis (or as close to a regular basis as I can get, with school work lately). But, a few weeks ago, I found myself surfing the web and looking up random things when I saw an ad for weight loss. You know, the usual, 'I lost 40 pounds in 2 months!! :D See how, with this secret!' Of course I ignored it, but I couldn't get it off of my mind. After the countless number of books my mom has bought for me (she says she reads them for info....... but trust me, they're for me -___-" ), I know there isn't a secret, there's no easy way out - just dedication and commitment to your diet and sticking to that.
Soooo... I was thinking about that for a while more, kind of getting depressed because I wished I could have lost 40 pounds in 2 months (wishful thinking, since that's CRAZY unhealthy! D: ). And I found myself, kind of.... well, considering actually eating less. As in, not eating as much food and literally cutting back. At first I pushed the thought aside, thinking, 'Wow, that's dumb! I don't want to starve myself."
......... But I have thought about it again and again. I even considered pros and cons of it, which is a horrible extreme for me. I don't want to turn to starvation for weight loss (because it's unhealthy and.... it's starvation. o_o ), but sometimes I fear that it's the only option that I have left. What if, in the horrible case that I was already starving myself, that it turned into an eating disorder? Ughhh........ I don't ever want that to happen.
So yeah. That's my fear - turning to eating disorders WILLINGLY to lose weight and feel accepted among my friends. Even close friends, one who get to wear two-piece bikini's to the beach where I feel horribly uncomfortable in shorts and a tshirt. Dx