Stories from the "I couldn't make this shit up if I tried" department.
• The first and second graders did a musical performance for us at our weekly all-school meeting. It was a freaking hour long. It was a lesson on the lifecycle of the dark-wing beetle set to the music of Vivaldi's "Four Seasons". Did I mention it was an hour long? Done by first and second graders? About bugs? Oy. Anyway, at one point, about half way through, the kids on the stage get down on their knees and tuck their heads under their arms. The music teacher turns to the rest of us and asks the kids, "Shhh... Do you know what the first graders are turning into?"
And clear as day some kid up front (so it was either a kindergartener or a third grader) yells out, "OOH! I know! ZOMBIES!"
• My 6th graders had to fill out a survey about the health (sex ed) class they just took from a community partner. Only, this particular community partner does a really, really wide range of programs and they use one survey for all of them. So number seven read:
Are you more interested in this subject now than you were before the program?
The choices were Yes/Some/A little/No. One girl asked me where the "I'm LESS interested in sex now than I was before the program" option was. Several others were just like, "Really, they're asking how interested we are in sex? Really?
• On the long answer section one kid said this:
Q: Do you think or feel differently about the subject than you did before the class?
A: Yes. I'm never having sex a day in my life.
Another one said this:
A: Yes. I always wanted to go raw, but I suppose now I'll use a condom.
Way, way, way, way, way more than I needed to know about Little Darling #2. *sigh*
• A parent decided to share with us at conferences that her son has had very good, very... interesting questions when he comes home from health class. And besides just talking to her about it, he apparently... stole some of her condoms to try them on. When she noticed this (I guess he left one in his pocket and she found it doing laundry) he confessed and said, "I just wanted to try it on. But I guess I'm not big enough yet because it kept falling off."
O_O !!!
And clear as day some kid up front (so it was either a kindergartener or a third grader) yells out, "OOH! I know! ZOMBIES!"
• My 6th graders had to fill out a survey about the health (sex ed) class they just took from a community partner. Only, this particular community partner does a really, really wide range of programs and they use one survey for all of them. So number seven read:
Are you more interested in this subject now than you were before the program?
The choices were Yes/Some/A little/No. One girl asked me where the "I'm LESS interested in sex now than I was before the program" option was. Several others were just like, "Really, they're asking how interested we are in sex? Really?
• On the long answer section one kid said this:
Q: Do you think or feel differently about the subject than you did before the class?
A: Yes. I'm never having sex a day in my life.
Another one said this:
A: Yes. I always wanted to go raw, but I suppose now I'll use a condom.
Way, way, way, way, way more than I needed to know about Little Darling #2. *sigh*
• A parent decided to share with us at conferences that her son has had very good, very... interesting questions when he comes home from health class. And besides just talking to her about it, he apparently... stole some of her condoms to try them on. When she noticed this (I guess he left one in his pocket and she found it doing laundry) he confessed and said, "I just wanted to try it on. But I guess I'm not big enough yet because it kept falling off."
O_O !!!