CarnCare: Plan the Second
Step one: mix a batch of CarnCare. Put it in a duck soup dish with roughly 1/2 the volume of chicken baby food.
Step two: clean off the kitchen table.
Step three: pour a glass of wine.
Step four: put on *unbelievably* pretentious 'making of' video for Arcadia that you've had for a month but haven't had time to watch.
Step five: double up a bath towel, cover table with it, put Carn Care bowl and spoon in the middle.
Step six: retrieve fur slinky.
Step seven: set fur slinky in front of bowl. Watch her be interested in: the t.v., the edge of the table, the remote, the bottle of antacids, anything but the bowl
Step seven: put fur slinky back on the towel, put spoonful of CarnCare in her face. Watch her eat.
Step eight: pull fur slinky our of wine glass. (drink more wine, yourself)
Step nine: Continue sticking spoonsfuls of CarnCare in her face, continue watching DVD and remember that, seriously, this is Arcadia, you shouldn't be at all surprised at the level of pretentiousness.
Step ten: get 3/4 of bowl into fur slinky, let her wipe her face on the towel, call it a success.
Step eleven: return fur slinky to box.
Step twelve: make another batch of CarnCare. Add it to what's left of fur slinky's. Put it back on the table.
Step thirteen: retrieve skin sack.
Step thirteen: set her on the towel, put spoon in her face.
Step fourteen: watch her have *none* of that and run behind t.v.
Step fifteen: re-retrieve skin sack, set her down on towel.
Step sixteen: remove skin sack from wine glass.
Step seventeen: Hold her in one hand, spoon feed with the other.
Step eighteen: get five or six spoonfuls down before she decides 'game over.'
Step nineteen: re-remove skin sack from wine glass. Move wine glass further away - but not out of arm's reach.
Step twenty: put skin sack *between* the folded layers of the towels so she can rub her face in them and clean off. Let her snorkel for a minute or two.
Step twenty-one: re-re-retrieve skin sack. Shovel in another three or four spoonfuls.
Step twenty-two: repeat steps 17 - 18 four more times.
Step twenty-three: get roughly a teaspoon sneezed on your shirt.
Step twenty-four: repeat steps 17 - 18 one more time.
Step twenty-five: realize skin sack has eaten not only her batch but a fair bit of fur slinky's leftovers. Be very pleased with this fact!
Step twenty-six: return skin sack to box. Change shirt. Rejoice in not having any more holes in you than you started the endeavor with!
In more annoying news: I had to replace the DVD in the bedroom last month. To the good: it has a USB port, so I don't have to burn a new disk each week just to see the new White Collar when I get home from ceramics. To the bad: I spent an insane amount of time last spring making .avi DVDs of all of Duran Duran's videos (and any YouTube clips I could round up for songs that never had 'official' videos.) This is *30* years of music, boys and girls. It's a lot of songs. (Think 13 albums, 2 side projects and multiple independent projects, nevermind that some songs like "New Moon on Monday" have at least 7 *versions* of the video). New DVD player? Won't read any of them. *sigh*. I'm sure it's a matter of re-translating them into a slightly different configuration of .avi files, but OMG! the number of files I have to do this to! And this after it took me a week to figure out what kind of .avi's the Toshiba wanted. GRRRRR!
For bonus weird: I'm using my "do not want" and "success" tags on one post. That looks wrong.
Step two: clean off the kitchen table.
Step three: pour a glass of wine.
Step four: put on *unbelievably* pretentious 'making of' video for Arcadia that you've had for a month but haven't had time to watch.
Step five: double up a bath towel, cover table with it, put Carn Care bowl and spoon in the middle.
Step six: retrieve fur slinky.
Step seven: set fur slinky in front of bowl. Watch her be interested in: the t.v., the edge of the table, the remote, the bottle of antacids, anything but the bowl
Step seven: put fur slinky back on the towel, put spoonful of CarnCare in her face. Watch her eat.
Step eight: pull fur slinky our of wine glass. (drink more wine, yourself)
Step nine: Continue sticking spoonsfuls of CarnCare in her face, continue watching DVD and remember that, seriously, this is Arcadia, you shouldn't be at all surprised at the level of pretentiousness.
Step ten: get 3/4 of bowl into fur slinky, let her wipe her face on the towel, call it a success.
Step eleven: return fur slinky to box.
Step twelve: make another batch of CarnCare. Add it to what's left of fur slinky's. Put it back on the table.
Step thirteen: retrieve skin sack.
Step thirteen: set her on the towel, put spoon in her face.
Step fourteen: watch her have *none* of that and run behind t.v.
Step fifteen: re-retrieve skin sack, set her down on towel.
Step sixteen: remove skin sack from wine glass.
Step seventeen: Hold her in one hand, spoon feed with the other.
Step eighteen: get five or six spoonfuls down before she decides 'game over.'
Step nineteen: re-remove skin sack from wine glass. Move wine glass further away - but not out of arm's reach.
Step twenty: put skin sack *between* the folded layers of the towels so she can rub her face in them and clean off. Let her snorkel for a minute or two.
Step twenty-one: re-re-retrieve skin sack. Shovel in another three or four spoonfuls.
Step twenty-two: repeat steps 17 - 18 four more times.
Step twenty-three: get roughly a teaspoon sneezed on your shirt.
Step twenty-four: repeat steps 17 - 18 one more time.
Step twenty-five: realize skin sack has eaten not only her batch but a fair bit of fur slinky's leftovers. Be very pleased with this fact!
Step twenty-six: return skin sack to box. Change shirt. Rejoice in not having any more holes in you than you started the endeavor with!
In more annoying news: I had to replace the DVD in the bedroom last month. To the good: it has a USB port, so I don't have to burn a new disk each week just to see the new White Collar when I get home from ceramics. To the bad: I spent an insane amount of time last spring making .avi DVDs of all of Duran Duran's videos (and any YouTube clips I could round up for songs that never had 'official' videos.) This is *30* years of music, boys and girls. It's a lot of songs. (Think 13 albums, 2 side projects and multiple independent projects, nevermind that some songs like "New Moon on Monday" have at least 7 *versions* of the video). New DVD player? Won't read any of them. *sigh*. I'm sure it's a matter of re-translating them into a slightly different configuration of .avi files, but OMG! the number of files I have to do this to! And this after it took me a week to figure out what kind of .avi's the Toshiba wanted. GRRRRR!
For bonus weird: I'm using my "do not want" and "success" tags on one post. That looks wrong.