Okay World...

[thefamousone]

How do I get back to feeling good?

What's bothering me? Okay Emotional Guidance system... If I am feeling unhappy, it's because I am focusing on something that is against what I am working towards. So I need to 1. Recognize what's bugging me 2. Stop looking at things that are bugging me. 3. Recognize things that are making me happy.

So what bothers me.

• I'm a 30 year old waitress. 
• I haven't followed through on a project in a very long time.
• I haven't felt like I've ever really had a truly mutually connected long term relationship.
• At some point I stopped being comfortable with being a lesbian. It may be the Calgary lesbians however and not me.
• Lonely. What a horrible thing to admit, it's like saying wow, I feel desperate, which I don't. I just feel very alone.
• Marilyn's health.
• Why haven't I worked out yet? Is there martial arts somewhere?
• How do I afford the Vet?
• How do I get my credit card down?
• I miss my room-mate.
• I'm frustrated. yeah...

What makes me happy

• Marilyn purring and snuggling.
• I have a kitchen. It may be small, but I have it.
• My apartment is super cute.
• I can walk to work.
• I'm good at my job and I love my coworkers.
• I'm almost unpacked
• Ugly and yet ridiculously comfortable chairs.
• The best extended singing lesson I've had in a long time.
• Having a voice teacher that is concise and communicates with me in ways that I understand.
• A platonic wife. (does this make me a bigamist?
• Ikea.
• Video Games
• Diet Coke.
• Cook Books (Perhaps Julia Childs' book next?)
• Plants
• My apartment being warm.
• Stealing Internet
• A bathtub with clawed feet.
• People with a sense of humor... Faucet song - so funny!
• Great haircuts
• Digital Cameras that work fast and are small
• Poster Hangers
• All my stuff. Yeah, I guess that makes me a materialistic fuck, but you know what? My stuff pays attention to me. My video games keep me distracted, my guitars and piano sing to me. My pictures, they wink, My bed gives warm hugs, My books take it all away. So yeah. It makes me happier than some people do.
• Battlestar Galactica. God I want it on Bluray. So bad.

Well, I'm tired, and didn't do this right. I didn't take what's making me upset and turn it into a positive, that will be for the next post because I'm going to bed and don't care anymore.
I'm totally kicking myself for not going to the Jack the Ripper Musical. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Maybe it'll be slow tomorrow and ... meh.  I'm grabbing a piece of bacon and going to bed now.