A night in my head.
I have EXTREMELY vivid dreams. I rarely remember more than a few parts because they're so complex. Last night I was able to remember the majority of the details and jot them down. This is still not a complete recording because a LOT more happened than this. So....this is a typical night/dream inside my head. Just happens that last night had an all-star cast.
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I dreamt that I was checking into the Walt Disney spa and that I don’t know how I got there. I’d been traveling and passing other places on the way. There were road signs everywhere and people announcing that they had beaten their mother at volleyball 20-0, but mom was still playing along for the fun of it. I was wearing my pink and black polka dotted bathing suit when I got there. I don’t remember even having it on. I walk in and it’s a standard spa. Out in the middle of the woods, only to get in you have to buy a ticket. I skipped the line, because even in my dreams I’m Jewish and never pay full price. I found a nook of about three different little individual bath/spas and started messing with the jets and relaxing my muscles and then realized that they turned into a row machine so I went rowing for a bit, enjoying myself. Suddenly, this guy says that my hand is the same size as something that he needs in the front ticket line so I follow him back. A lot of orthodox Jews are there and they’re taking away their kids going “you lied to us! You said this wasn’t an integrated spa!!! ((meaning men and women)) we’re going home now” I waited for the heavily tattooed man and then said fuck it. I walked around and was kind of running and accidentally almost fall over Hugh Laurie while he’s giving some sort of schpiel about being a British dude in America, in some sort of stand up routine, but he doesn’t even really notice and I back up and get back out to the path that I’d been walking. Tattooed man’s kid catches up and tries to get me to come back and wait again but I said “no way. I’m on vacation.” I got back and the spa had started to change. I also add that the spas were also in with the dining areas? (I don’t know how that worked). The dining area was becoming a large pool and then there were a lot of girls who I assumed to be roller girls were in the area I wanted to keep rowing in. Out of nowhere, the place turns into a club and suddenly Pee Wee Herman is behind it acting as the owner/operator. I turn all googly-eyed because I freaking LOVE Pee Wee Herman and we’re hanging out and I get too fangirlish cuz I’ve got my arm around him in a tight side-hug, but he just tells me to chill out and then we’re cool. The room starts to change and it’s a club, and everyone wants to do what Pee Wee is doing. There’s these stairs that were really strange that, according to Pee Wee, felt exactly like going backwards and forwards at the same time. I said “fuck that I’m not going up these stairs” so I became his news reporter/d.j. down at a booth at the bottom. Pee Wee had people write in to see how they felt about the stairs. A lot of people wrote in it was like jamming with creeping myrtle (for whatever reason) and others wrote “cool” and “neat” Some guy paid me five hundred dollars so that I would ask two women out for him…that’s apparently how he felt about the stairs. I ended my shift after more people bribed me and then I went to work the next night where I made more money on some lottery thing and Pee Wee didn’t trust the club to have a room to count the money in so he had me put it in my purse that suddenly appeared to count at home. There had to have been at least five thousand dollars or so in it. At the end of my second shift I was at the door (I had found the entrance) and was bullshitting Mario and Luigi and Princess Peach from There Will Be Brawl for a little bit, but then I went back in to the club.
Then things start to get a little blurry from here.
Apparently the space-time continuum got altered so that we could bring back Clint Eastwood. Apparently Pee Wee really hated Clint Eastwood because he brought him back twice (in the dream he’s been dead a while after working with me as a history teacher at my school) just so that he could kill him by placing him in the middle of the road and forcing him to cross. I didn’t look, but I heard the smack and the thump of a body being hit by a truck and then the torso just rolled on by me. I was able to free second Clint Eastwood, and by then Pee Wee didn’t care anymore and went back to the club. When I went back inside things had changed again and suddenly I was part of a Pirate show and had to stab Neil Patrick Harris as part of a fake, but he didn’t want to get killed. The head pirate was looking for real knives from other pirates and we had all gone to the movies previously and seen a hideous trailer for Magic: The Gathering: The Movie but went to the Magic store anyways to buy knives. Somehow this made us pirates. Anyways, so I’m fighting these pirates (and its’ a family show, p.s. - there’s an audience) and all the other ones except for the big boss man are down but NPH. He’s all squirming because he doesn’t want to get hurt, and I tell him it’s okay and cut off lotsa fake body parts. He still didn’t like it, so we played it off in the second show that I finish the other pirates and when I get to him I yell “boo!” and he runs away. We do this twice, but the second time I find the real knives from the other pirates (they were under a vending machine) and the big boss pirate starts to get really mad. Then these humans dressed as apes get really pissed on behalf of the big boss pirate and then start taking bikes and running after me. Apparently I’m really fast, because I too am dressed as an ape for whatever reason (future show??) and I’m running alongside of a lake. I yell “FALCOR! I MAY NEED YOUR HELP SOON BUDDY!” because he’s chilling on the bank on the other side. The apes catch up to me and then I say “OKAY….FALCOR!! FALCOR!!!” and dude picks me up, but tells me I’m a little heavy wearing that ape costume so I turn back into a regular human and he flies me back to the front of Pee Wees club. Only it’s not his club anymore, it’s turned back into the Walt Disney Spa….so I go in and everything is normal again except Pee Wee is waiting for me so we can hang out again.
*****
Then I woke up.
I have some seriously fucked up dreams. Figure THAT out, Freud.
**********
I dreamt that I was checking into the Walt Disney spa and that I don’t know how I got there. I’d been traveling and passing other places on the way. There were road signs everywhere and people announcing that they had beaten their mother at volleyball 20-0, but mom was still playing along for the fun of it. I was wearing my pink and black polka dotted bathing suit when I got there. I don’t remember even having it on. I walk in and it’s a standard spa. Out in the middle of the woods, only to get in you have to buy a ticket. I skipped the line, because even in my dreams I’m Jewish and never pay full price. I found a nook of about three different little individual bath/spas and started messing with the jets and relaxing my muscles and then realized that they turned into a row machine so I went rowing for a bit, enjoying myself. Suddenly, this guy says that my hand is the same size as something that he needs in the front ticket line so I follow him back. A lot of orthodox Jews are there and they’re taking away their kids going “you lied to us! You said this wasn’t an integrated spa!!! ((meaning men and women)) we’re going home now” I waited for the heavily tattooed man and then said fuck it. I walked around and was kind of running and accidentally almost fall over Hugh Laurie while he’s giving some sort of schpiel about being a British dude in America, in some sort of stand up routine, but he doesn’t even really notice and I back up and get back out to the path that I’d been walking. Tattooed man’s kid catches up and tries to get me to come back and wait again but I said “no way. I’m on vacation.” I got back and the spa had started to change. I also add that the spas were also in with the dining areas? (I don’t know how that worked). The dining area was becoming a large pool and then there were a lot of girls who I assumed to be roller girls were in the area I wanted to keep rowing in. Out of nowhere, the place turns into a club and suddenly Pee Wee Herman is behind it acting as the owner/operator. I turn all googly-eyed because I freaking LOVE Pee Wee Herman and we’re hanging out and I get too fangirlish cuz I’ve got my arm around him in a tight side-hug, but he just tells me to chill out and then we’re cool. The room starts to change and it’s a club, and everyone wants to do what Pee Wee is doing. There’s these stairs that were really strange that, according to Pee Wee, felt exactly like going backwards and forwards at the same time. I said “fuck that I’m not going up these stairs” so I became his news reporter/d.j. down at a booth at the bottom. Pee Wee had people write in to see how they felt about the stairs. A lot of people wrote in it was like jamming with creeping myrtle (for whatever reason) and others wrote “cool” and “neat” Some guy paid me five hundred dollars so that I would ask two women out for him…that’s apparently how he felt about the stairs. I ended my shift after more people bribed me and then I went to work the next night where I made more money on some lottery thing and Pee Wee didn’t trust the club to have a room to count the money in so he had me put it in my purse that suddenly appeared to count at home. There had to have been at least five thousand dollars or so in it. At the end of my second shift I was at the door (I had found the entrance) and was bullshitting Mario and Luigi and Princess Peach from There Will Be Brawl for a little bit, but then I went back in to the club.
Then things start to get a little blurry from here.
Apparently the space-time continuum got altered so that we could bring back Clint Eastwood. Apparently Pee Wee really hated Clint Eastwood because he brought him back twice (in the dream he’s been dead a while after working with me as a history teacher at my school) just so that he could kill him by placing him in the middle of the road and forcing him to cross. I didn’t look, but I heard the smack and the thump of a body being hit by a truck and then the torso just rolled on by me. I was able to free second Clint Eastwood, and by then Pee Wee didn’t care anymore and went back to the club. When I went back inside things had changed again and suddenly I was part of a Pirate show and had to stab Neil Patrick Harris as part of a fake, but he didn’t want to get killed. The head pirate was looking for real knives from other pirates and we had all gone to the movies previously and seen a hideous trailer for Magic: The Gathering: The Movie but went to the Magic store anyways to buy knives. Somehow this made us pirates. Anyways, so I’m fighting these pirates (and its’ a family show, p.s. - there’s an audience) and all the other ones except for the big boss man are down but NPH. He’s all squirming because he doesn’t want to get hurt, and I tell him it’s okay and cut off lotsa fake body parts. He still didn’t like it, so we played it off in the second show that I finish the other pirates and when I get to him I yell “boo!” and he runs away. We do this twice, but the second time I find the real knives from the other pirates (they were under a vending machine) and the big boss pirate starts to get really mad. Then these humans dressed as apes get really pissed on behalf of the big boss pirate and then start taking bikes and running after me. Apparently I’m really fast, because I too am dressed as an ape for whatever reason (future show??) and I’m running alongside of a lake. I yell “FALCOR! I MAY NEED YOUR HELP SOON BUDDY!” because he’s chilling on the bank on the other side. The apes catch up to me and then I say “OKAY….FALCOR!! FALCOR!!!” and dude picks me up, but tells me I’m a little heavy wearing that ape costume so I turn back into a regular human and he flies me back to the front of Pee Wees club. Only it’s not his club anymore, it’s turned back into the Walt Disney Spa….so I go in and everything is normal again except Pee Wee is waiting for me so we can hang out again.
*****
Then I woke up.
I have some seriously fucked up dreams. Figure THAT out, Freud.